boyfriend gone.. internal bleeding and weight loss Need help

me and my boyfriend who have been going out for 1 year borke up 7 months ago. You think i'd be over him by now right? Well for me it isnt that easy. Since then life has gone to hell, Literally! Ive become depressed... im not sure if its because of him, maybe he just contributed to it. And i was already sick with alot of problems when i was with him but now its gotten alot worse. The doctors said it was a case of IBS for the longest time until recently ive lost a lot of weight and there is bleeding inside my stomach. Not only that but im throwing up practically everyday (not cuz of bulemia), and my head is always constantly pounding. They have no idea what it is.

I miss him more than anyone could ever know. He calls me only about once a month, and wenever he does he kinda just sits there. He never really talks to me. When i tell him about me being sick, i dont really know if he cares. He just says "aww poor baby" in a sarcastic way like he doesnt believe me and then stupid things like "what are you wearing?" and such. I don't really expect him to be concerned, i mean i understand that he's not my boyfriend anymore but i just wish he was there again. And its confusing because when we went out he really cared about me. Maybe even a little more then he should, and its just not like him to be this shallow. I honestly don't have anyone else and i don't know what to do without him. So my question is what does this mean? Why is he acting this way toward me? and what should i do?

anything would really help me at this point.

And sorry for the message being so long, but I really appreciate your help

You've got to get out of your depressive moods. The mind really does have an affect on the body.

A few years ago I was in a very brief relationship with a guy that I was deeply deeply in love with. It was the type that pretty much ended before it even started, but nonetheless I was in love. We never even had any contact after that. So I really feel that if he calls you even once a month and is still a part of your life, then you've got it soo soo soo good already. Be grateful for that.

You say that he comes accross as not caring for you anymore. But I think deep down he probably does. He prob. doesn't want to give you mixed messages. If he's too caring you might take it the wrong way and think that he wants to be more with you.

Only advice I can give is, if you two can't stay together than break all contact. This will force you to get over the guy and possibly find a new love.

Like the person said above.. I like the way she put it.. I had a relationship that was over before it even started.. I was hurt by it, and I decided to tell the girl that I don't just want to be friends and broke all contact.

It was tough! But now after a couple months later I just found a new girl and am just as happy or happier because this girl is much more sutiable for me. THought when we broke up that this wouldn't be so possible at lest for a long time.. But it is.

I was diagnosed with IBS about 6 years ago but I was told bleeding was a sign of a different disorder-- perhaps an ulcer. I hope you are getting it checked out by a professional doctor.

I've since learned that IBS is also a catch-all diagnosis when the doctor can't quite figure out what is wrong-- what I discovered several years later was I should've gotten a second/third opinion and then I would have been able to nip the problem in the bud before I lost so much blood (it was a stomach ulcer).

And yes, IBS is very tied in with your emotional and physical health-- as are ulcers. It might help to learn some stress management skills like meditation. I found that daily exercise and meditation did me wonders. Also, lay off the caffeine and don't take aspirin and caffeine together (such as in many common migrain medications). My ulcer became a bleeding ulcer after just one dose of Exederin Migraine.

As for the ex-- if you're feeling resentful that he sounds so sarcastic and uncaring-- then break ties with him completely. You don't need that in your life and if you let it stay in your life you are only contributing to your own emotional turmoil. He is your ex and if he does not wish to be more emotionally tied to you, he will probably act more distant and cold to you.

Another thing, if you are always talking to him about your medical problems he may be tired of hearing of it. I used to complain all the time and started getting a bunch of sarcastic remarks from my friends... they were just really tired of hearing about it and tired of hearing me complain all the time. So I stopped complaining and I consequently improved/ if not saved my friendships.

Just some thoughts.... hope it helps some... Best of luck with your health!

Seroyla wrote:

My ulcer became a bleeding ulcer after just one dose of Exederin Migraine.

Yea i do happen to take a LOT of medications such as that. Which is probably the cause non the less, but its a mental state that i can't get out of for as long as i can remember.... which is take a pill get better. I know i sound like a pill poppper don't I? But not on purpose. Believe me when i say ive tried to break it, but it is a LOT harder then one would think.

And as for the stress managment skills and such... i do have a councelor that i go and see, but it really isnt doing much help. Not to mention that i can only see her at the most twice a month because of my dad's "precious" work schedual, so we are kind of no where right now.

But i do thank you ALL for the comments you left. It really is a big help... more then you know.

broken_soul it is very evident that the pain you are going through has almost nothing to do with your ex boyfriend. I don't know what is hurting you, but you are desperately trying to seek love and are seeking it in the wrong places. I know you don't want to hear this but from what you have said your boyfriend is very selfish and probably one of the worst people you could be around. I want to let you know that God loves you deeply. You may not be able to see this right now and you may not even recognize God, but God gives you beautiful flowers and a beautiful sky everyday. I hope you will one day understand this and know that you are loved by God more than any man could ever love you. I am going to share with you a description of the kind of love God has for you and hope you can except this. I also want you to know that God created humans in His image. He created us to be like Him. He also spoke everything but humans into existence. He literal formed us and made us. God's love is patient and kind. It does not envy, it does not boast, it is not proud. It is not rude, it is not self - seeking, it is not easily angered, it keeps not record of wrongs. Love does not delight in evil but rejoices with the truth. It always protects, always trusts, always hopes, always persereverses. Love never fails. Please try to find people that have this kind of love and hang around them. You need to have this kind of love to heal from what is hurting you. Ultimate you need to know that God loves you like this. Also, I am sure there is a man out there that wants to love you like this, and will except you for who you are and where you are, but you are going to have to stop being with guys like you ex and start chasing after this real love if you want to find it. You are also going to have to become loving like this if you want to appreciate real love. I hope this best for you and I will say a prayer for you.

When i tell him about me being sick, i dont really know if he cares. He just says "aww poor baby" in a sarcastic way like he doesnt believe me and then stupid things like "what are you wearing?" and such..........

I really relate with this part of ur mesage.my ex used to do the exact same thing..its so pissing off.but after a while i discovered that it was only cos he actually didnt care..if he did he wouldnt do anything to hurt you..bt all you want is a little care right.and thats were i discovered i was going wrong..i was looking for it in all the wrong places especiallly in my case from a teenage boy...only God can trully love, trully care and trully fufill and most of all he can never disappoint.once i understood that i was able to forgive him of his human failure in trying to meet Gods standards.. i hope you come to your moment of clarity soon!!all the best..

Hi

Short and simple. Go to a dr and get some anti depressants and have him look at you for the internal bleeding. Go to a good Christian psychologist. DON'T sit home all day and watch tv or sleep & eat. Force yourself to go to events and church even though you despise it. MOST IMPORTANT: NEVER DATE AGAIN. Be happy in yourself. Be your best friend. Ask your own opinion of whether a piece of art is good or bad, etc. We lose our minds often when our perception of reality has a head-on collision with what reality really is. We were taught by our sunday school teachers, our grade school teachers, parents, grandparents, on and on, to tell the truth and treat people fairly, and they will do the same for you. Another thing we were taught was that if we were totally honest and open with the one we think loves us and whom we love....giving our entire heart to them, the wouldn't break our hearts....that we would be successful in our love lives. Those are only axioms...NOT unchangeable laws of the universe like gravity and laws of propulsion. When our male-adjusted concept of what reality SHOULD be and reality itself has a head-on collision, we lose our mind. We don't understand at all. It does not compute. Bottom line: people cheat, lie, kill, and break each others' hearts....happily and willingly...REGARDLESS OF how much love they've been giving. I'd have to say many of the women I've met are always scheming and planning something in secret in case their spouse doesn't do what they want them to do. THE BEST WAY TO PREVENT DIVORCE IS TO NEVER GET MARRIED AND NEVER DATE.

That is one of the cruelest things I think a ex boyfriend could do to his hurting ex. I wanted to cry when I read that part about him mocking your pain. Even if he's not your boyfriend anymore, I think he should be a lot more nicer because you are ill. I mean, I'm not saying he has to call you all the time and stuff. But I would think he would care enough to know if you were ok.

Hateful!

I'm sorry. I hope you get well. And get over him.

This thread is super old

Ok I TOTALLY know how you are feeling,, well besides the internal bleedingg... I was with a guy for 6 months and and am infatuated by him and has caused depression and obssesive behavior. Though I realized that he doesnt give a crap and that honestly what matters is your health and your happiness.. think of LOVE as a game.. some of them you lose and others you win.. just ignore his phonecalls and everything make him feel like dirt.. show him how u are feeling (he might get the picture or not)... take control of your life!! dont let a guy do this to you like seriously! life is too short to ddwell over stupid break ups.. you will find somebody else!! just move on

Hey Broken, man I have been there. My ex fiance left about a year ago and the first six months were hell, the absolute worst pain I have felt in my life. I lost about 15lb and stressed so much I made myself sick. My ex never called, never made any attempt to see how I was doing or if I was still alive.

The only thing that has slowly helped me turn things around is creating a better life for myself. Making new friends, joined a paddling team, started going to the gym four days a week, and took some classes. I didnt get magicaly better and I am still not fully healed...but I am better.

You can do this, who knows one day he might see what an amzing woman he lost and start begging...

wait...the op was posting in 2005...lol

wait...the op was posting in 2005...lol

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