the absolute WORST way to come out...

my dad bought me a qu33r as folk episode guide. ok, cool. that was hard enough, having him flip through and go "yeah, this is alright" .. he bought it, no questions, no burning predicament all the way home, it was alright.

i come home to my mom. .. the person most often that.. people like me can trust, the one parent that understands everything, because she's a woman, and apparently women know everything, according to her.

so she flips through as well, since "no" from me means absolutely diddly to her. 9-9 she finds the rare pic of some dudes kissing.

... oops.

i mean, come on. it's tv, and certainly not like.. a porn channel thing. (mind you i haven't seen an episode before, just pics and whatnot, and i liked it... hm.)

so i have to return it tomorrow.. with her by my side..dammit.

30 bucks down the drain.

... the thing that got me though was the "i don't want this... TRASH in MY HOUSE! i don't care if you're 15 or 40, it's GARBAGE!" and.. so on.

i could barely take the priest saying i couldn't have that.. communion bready junk anymore, because homosexuality is a sin, and i have to promise to stop doing it, and be normal, or it's unforgivable and i'm unworthy to receive it. ... BULL.

i'm just in need of a friend right now, something that isn't ice cream and isn't a dog, and .. well, isn't a family member. heh..

it's so hard being lesbian, gay, bi.. AND transgender. frick. it's like.. the rebel of the rebels, you know? nobody wants me.. heheh

or at least not 'till i pick one and stick with it.. o.O people these days.

any.. thoughts? advice..? i'm pretty much going to just.. have a complete mental breakdown with all the pressure here anyway, so yeah. a little encouragement would be nice. be like "w00t, go you.. you're going to die when the sun comes up!" even. heheh..

at least she didn't find that "instinct" mag i have under my bed.. o.O that'd be overwhelming. two pieces of "garbage" in the same house?

nosfetorious!

Well, at least it's out there. Usually a person's first reaction is the strongest, and after they have taken some time to process things, they will be able to place things into perspective.

You'll be ok, really. You're not going to die. You're going through some hard stuff now. It's ok to feel this way, don't blame yourself for the pain you are feeling.

Ilse.

Woot, go you! You will be fine. It will all work out in the end. Every one will be forgiven, not that you did anything wrong.... 8)

Ok.... I can not empathyze with u as much as I can sympathyze but here goes nothin'. I have a boyfriend, but sometimes I think about women and I'm very attracted to them. I love him but I can't help the way I feel sometimes. Once I was hanging out with a girl I had met and she kissed me, I really liked it! But I had to confess to my boyfriend. He got all mad saying how it was wrong and I shouldn't do that. I had no support. But I mean I'd like to meet someone that would help me see if I really am gay, but I havnt yet. So yah, no support sux big time, but you'll find someone ur happy with and they'll come around. Homosexuality is only growing in becoming more acceptable so you have nothing to fear.

Hey nosfetorious,

Chin up

The worst possible thing you can do is give up on yourself. Give yourself worth and sooner or later it'll come from everyone else.... It's a tough road you're on but it's going somewhere and you are young. I'm a mother of a young man around your age. So, from a mother...feel a loving vibe and a hug. You're going to be fine, just hang on and trust yourself.

I think that's awesome that you are and can admitt to likeing guys, really. I am bi, and am very atracted to other women a lot of the time. It's not a big deal at least i dont' think so, My cousin is also bi and her mom has no clue because my cousin wont say anything in fear that she will disown her, and that is so wrong. sure she might, but parents need to except and love us for who we are. yeah sure in the bible is says it's a sin, but the bible also says that all man kind sin and it's unavoidable, we are human beings, it's ok to like the same sex. If there are people out there that don't like you because of it, then don't take it too personaly, people are afraid of what they don't know. And I personally say (and yes I am bi so this is for people who don't like gay and bi people) hate the sin, not the person.

peace out.

Qtpie87

hey dude post up! u never came back to tell us how things are going with you!

Its been a week and i'm almost sure everything's better, and if not, its VERY close to getting better.

I am Bi, and instead of coming out, i got PUSHED outta the closet (told a couple of close friends, but then someone overheard a conversation and it spread like gunpowder all over the school, great...) And although i did get some heat from some people, it all was cool in the end.

U know, even though u're probably going through hell at the moment, its always best to be out of the closet. It just allows you to stop lying and pretending and in the end, it just takes a huge weight off your shoulders. Sure every now and then u'll meet some homophobic idiot, but they're just not worth listening to.