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Thread: trust broken - can a marriage or relationship survive

  1. #1
    Member kenneth05's Avatar
    Join Date
    May 2005

    trust broken - can a marriage or relationship survive

    if one partner has been false on deeply important matters, and the other partner only found out about it by accident, and the false partner does nothing to build trust back, can the marriage/relationship survive? any thoughts appreciated.

  2. #2
    Ms Omaniac
    Member Ms Omaniac's Avatar
    Join Date
    Apr 2005
    McAllen TX
    to me...if the false partner does nothing to build the trust back then that person BETTER try if they want to keep me. i wouldnt let this person continue in your life if they dont at least try. if you let the person stay and just put up with it then you arent respecting yourself enough. and people tend to value and respect you as much as you respect yourself. you shouldnt let this person railroad you like that; you deserve much better than that. it sounds like you treat this person with respect and you deserve the same back.

  3. #3
    equal marriage
    Join Date
    Mar 2005
    New York City
    Trust, respect, compassion and commitment are the floor on which you build love and a strong marriage. Being "found out" can be emparrassing and scary, it however shoudl not be paralyzing- referring to your partner not taking an action to improve the situation. Many marriages can be "saved" and can even become stronger if both parties are willing to give it try- to get help- professional help.

  4. #4
    Join Date
    May 2005
    Los Angeles
    Define "deeply important matters"

    can the marriage/relationship survive? Off hand, I'd say No, because I'm not real fond of liars.
    On the other hand, it depends on the matter.
    Sometimes people do things in the past, regret it, and grow up and never repeat it. It all depends on the deeply important matter, and who many people it effected then or now. It also depends on how long the partners have been together, too.

  5. #5
    Join Date
    Jun 2005
    Firstly, was this broken trust started before the marriage or during? I'm answering as if it were during. Above all I'd like to mention that if we build a marriage upon ourselves, it's like building a house on the sand. If we build a marriage upon God, we build a marriage on stone. Yes a marriage can survive but it depends on the two of you. We often think that whoever screwed up has to work at it while the other sits back and thinks if they'll accept it or not. The truth is that it is still a marriage and it still takes two. Even though you didn't cause the mistake you are still a partner and need to help the other through the mistakes. It seems unfair that you should bare a weight for something you didn't do but life was never made fair. All we can do is make it as best as possible. When you went into this marriage it was for better or worse. Well here's the worse. Now you need to prove to yourself that you can make it through the worse. A strong marriage is made from pulling through the problems and not just living in a fantasy where everything is always sunny and happy. Pray for strength and wisdom and compassion for your partner who has fallen in weakness. You are in it to help each other, not to abandon at the sight of weakness.

  6. #6
    Platinum Member brando's Avatar
    Join Date
    Feb 2005
    South Of No North
    ive seen couples survive infidelity, anything is possible, depending on what you both truly want. It takes the effort of two. Half and half. You being responsible for your half the other for theirs.

  7. #7
    Shadows Light
    Platinum Member Shadows Light's Avatar
    Join Date
    Mar 2005
    No... Trust is one of the building blocks of a relationship. ie marriage.

    How deeply was the trust broken... is it something they can work on... was it an omission, was it a blatent lie... was it something kept from you because they were embarrased about it?

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