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Is this a good excuse for cutting?


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hi everyone, I used to cut but haven't since march. My parents have no idea, but I don't think I can keep wearing long sleeves in 80 degree weather without my parents realizing I'm hiding something or me dying from the heat.

 

I think I finally have a way to reveal my cuts to my parents but I wanted to see what other people thought first.

 

today I was helping my mom cut the roses in our yard that were covered in huge thorns. While I was helping I realised this might be a perfect reason for there to be cuts on my left arm. So I made a pretty big show about how I kept getting cut and all and then rushed in afterwards. I made a few small cuts on my hand to make it look realistic, and some bandaids on my arm and wrist in case I use this plan.

 

I am really scared to finally come out and show the cuts, even though it would be through a lie, but I don't think I will get another chance this good for an easy way to show my arm. so is this a believable story, would you believe it?

thanks for reading.

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I don't personally think you should be hiding this man...if you're cutting yourself....making up excuses to cover it up is not a great thing; I could never encourage it. It's dangerous...what's goin on, why are you doing this to yourself...? I don't really know much about it, but if your parents saw them, it'd be much better than hiding it from them...maybe you could get some help and be able to stop cutting yourself and having to hide it.

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You need to tell. Only when you tell can you get help. There are so many people with this problem- youre not alone and so you shouldnt remain that way.

 

We only heal from comforting. We are only comforted when we speak up.

 

TELL THEM THE TRUTH. Would you want your kids to cover it up from you if they are having the same problems? Your parents can heeeeeelp.

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To be quite honest, no, I do not think that the gardening thing is believable. They will see right through it. The scars from cutting are quite distinctive.

 

You know, it's ok - they're your parents and they love you. I'm sure that they will be glad to hear that you're not doing it anymore. Perhaps they can hook you up with a therapist to discuss any things that may be on your mind.

 

Going to a therapist is good, even if you feel better about your life in general. Think about it - you go to a dentist 2 a year for checkups, even when your teeth feel fine. Why not talk to a therapist, just as a general check up?

 

Good luck! Don't worry - I think things will work out. Take care!

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I think you should tell your parents. They'll be suspicious, and hiding the fact that you cut from people that care about you isn't the best way to go. You should tell them though, that you haven't cut since March. That's an awesome achievement which you should be extatic about. When you talk to them you should frame it that you do have a problem and you've taken measures to stop and you haven't since March.. but you shouldn't hide it.. they probably won't believe you anyway.

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Thanks for the help everyone. I appreciciate it.

 

I was seeing a therapist for a while recently because my parents noticed I was depressed. That didn't work out. It seemed to do more damage than good, after each session I left more depressed than before, I decided if my parents were paying so much money for that it wasn't worth it, so I told them I was better.

 

If I tell my parents that'll just be one more way I've disapointed them, I don't want to put something like this on them to worry about. Once they know everything will be different. I suppose I wont tell them about the rose story, but I know I wont be able to tell them the truth. I know I should tell but in the back of my mind I keep thinking how if I just keep it from them for one more year I'll be fine, I'll work at my job during the hours they're home and eliminate contact with them, then I'll go off to college and all the unnesessary problems will be solved, they wont be worryed, and I want get yelled at,. I figure if I quit cutting by myself, why should I bring them into it?

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I'll work at my job during the hours they're home and eliminate contact with them, then I'll go off to college and all the unnesessary problems will be solved, they wont be worryed, and I want get yelled at,. I figure if I quit cutting by myself, why should I bring them into it?

 

okay, this is not a good thing. i'm a cutter and i told my parents after i severely damamged myself the first time. running away and letting all contact go will not solve your problem. if anything, it may escalate it.

 

i kept my cutting from my parents for a long time and i still keep it from them now because they think i'm better, but don't you feel that guilt of not being able to talk to them about it? i do... and so i have a harder time talking to my parents. i've just about lost my dad, my mum treats me a lot differently and tries to buddy up to me all the time because i dont talk about things like this with her and my step mum just stays neutral and doesn't bring it up. and if someone else brings it up she'll change the subject.

 

trust me Alien, don't keep it from your folks. dont make the same mistake i have and lose your family because of it.

 

they wont yell at you and they wont love you any less. they'll be proud of you because you had the courage to tell them and they also be proud that you have been able to abstain from cutting since march. things can only get better if you tell them.

 

Good luck

 

Sappho

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When I used to cut I would walk around with wrist warmers to cover it up at college. But at home I just let my grandparents know, my main reason was because I needed to cope with the stresses that they gave me so I wanted them to know I was hurting. But I've not done it since febuary now. You can stop! I know you can do it!

GL,

~S.

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A lot of those excuses I've heard from people at my old school don't work . It's going to look odd wearing long-sleeved shirts during the summer, and if your parents knew you used to cut, that excuse definetely won't work. There was a girl I knew who actually showed her cuts to people. (this was a few years ago, when most middle-schoolers didn't know about cutting but I did for some odd reason, no I've never been a cutter, but back then I never understood why someone would do that) She would try to hide it most of the time, but when PE came around she had to wear the mandatory t-shirt. She would show them to me and others. The other kids would just say, "What happened?" Because it seemed so odd that she had a neat row of little cuts down her arm. She would just say she would accidently scrape her arm against her bedside table at night, or she 'fell'. These excuses are easily seen through, maybe not for young sixth-graders who lose interest after a few minutes, but if an adult had heard these, they would never work. I still remember asking, "Why don't you move the table?" and, "Why do you keep falling and only hurting your arm?", "Are you cutting yourself? Why?" in an accusatory way, now, I would say it much more gently, "Why don't you go to the nurse and get them checked out, you know, in case they're infected?" So that an adult takes care of it. I did tell her to tell her mom or something, which, eventually she did, and last time I talked to her (2 years ago) she was going to a shrink because her mom was worried about her, and I think she was put into a different school because I never saw her again. I hope she's alright, it's so weird because I just suddenly remembered her.

 

Alien, I would advise, of course that you don't cut yourself. If therapy truly is a lot of money, than atleast tell your parents that you're tempted to cut again, so that they can keep a close eye on you. Perhaps you could see a school therapist? Maybe they're not as experienced as an expensive therapist, but sometimes it helps just to have someone listen.

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  • 2 weeks later...
  • 4 weeks later...

i think you need to tell them. if you stop talking to them and avoid them and stuff what will happen if something happens 2 you while your away and you need them, but you havnt talked to them about your life then what? you need to tell them man! they are your parents this is what they are there for it WILL NOT be a burrden to them i promise. i told my mom i started smoking and sure she was a little upset but she wasnt mad. your mom gave birth to you she wouldnt do that if she didnt want to help you in the future. TELL YOUR PARENTS!

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  • 1 month later...

i doubt they would fall for it mate. It pepends if your scars/cuts are deep and in neat strait lines. and is there are alot then it won't look realistic at all.

 

maybe you should just tell your mum? ok i know that will be hard but i wished i told my mum before she saw them nd asked abou them.... that day was not fun!

 

try and confide in her, you never know it mite help

 

jen

 

xxxxxxx

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It's good you want to tell your parents but do it in an honest way. Take it slowly perhaps writting a long letter explaining everything will help. If they decide to send you to thearpy have an active roll in choseing where you go that way you get one your confortable with that can help you. It's great you haven't cut since march keep going.

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Hey Alien,

 

It's a good sign to want to out yourself to your parents. It's a brave thing to do. If you still go ahead with it, I think you should just tell them the truth--in the end, they'll have a lot to deal with and will appreciate your honesty--as hard as it may be. Another thing...you might want to consider telling someone else that you trust first, that way, you can talk to this person openly and not have to hide it from them any longer. While you may still choose to hide it from your parents, at least you'd still have a relationship with them. Working while they're not home won't solve anything. Isolating yourself from them won't work and will only make them more suspicious. And going away to college won't be a panacea--it won't magically fix all of your problems.

 

I have been cutting myself for almost 7 years now and I finally decided to out myself because I was tired of hiding my scars. I told 5 people I really trusted and have been working my way out from there. I decided not to tell my mother or grandparents. I'm not ready to tell them and I don't know if I'll ever be. I may tell my mother later (like when I'm 50) but only if it feels right.

 

I am 21 and am finally moving out. I am moving to go to school, but it is a permanent one. I realized that I could never stop hurting myself if I still lived up here. Moving out will help, but I realize it won't solve everything. I will finally have a space to call my own and will be able to express myself and that will help, but I still need to figure out why I feel the need and urge to hurt myself. I wanted to make some progress on this before I moved, so I have been working with a therapist (once a week, free to me since I am not working and do not have insurance) over the summer. The idea is to have less 'baggage' when I move. What I'm getting at here is that you can't run from your problems--they will run with you and be with you wherever you end up. I am speaking from experience. Moving out may be a good thing for you and therapy at college campuses is actually affordable. If you want to hold off on telling your parents (I am not encouraging this--only you will know when it feels right to tell them), I suggest waiting till college. In college you will have the freedom to find out who you are and to mold yourself into the person you want to be. You can take advantage of the resources available to you (counsellors, therapy, etc) and tell your parents when you have a better handle on the problem yourself. They may react differently if they see that you have a grasp on this and that you're working to stop it. Hope this helps.

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I guess I will post an update since it seems people are still responding.

 

I decided not to tell my parents that excuse. I am wearing a lot of skin colored band-aids and a large watch over the cuts. I decided I wasn't going to tell them and just let them find out once they noticed it and then worry about it then but they haven't noticed still. I'm very relieved about it because I have no idea how they would react and how I would tell them.

 

I posted that I hadn't cut in 2 months at the beginning. About 1 week after that I started again. I still am cutting but it is worse now. I only cut at the very center of my forearm, no longer at the wrist, but each time I am trying to go deeper and deeper because I have to see more blood each time. I want to hit a vein so bad to watch the blood but I know that is stupid. I know I am losing too much blood to begin with because each time I stand up after sitting I see black, and if I don't put my head down between my legs for a while I faint.

 

One person in real life knows. He found out accidentally one day and told me he used to cut himself. At first i was extremely angry at myself because someone had finally noticed and i hadn't hid them well enough. Having someone else know was a little too much for me at first. He was crying when he found out, which blew me away. He is the toughest person I know and he cared so much about me that he had tears. But in the end it sucks because now I feel even more guilty about cutting because I am hurting him each time I do this. And he is helping me quit by giving me a beating each time he sees new cuts.

 

So my plans now are to keep them hidden. I can't bear to see more of those that I am close with to tears. I know I'm stupid for not getting help. I even had a physical at my doctor office which would have been perfect to break out and tell someone I need help, but I told myself to shut up and cover up like always. I can live with it for now because one day I will finally stop cutting but perhaps now isn't the time.

 

And of course thank you to everybody who took their time to read and to reply.

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  • 2 weeks later...

hum i may not be the best person to give advice but i know a lot about this. i have been cutting for 5 years and oddly enough i have used the rosebush storie (but i was in 8th grade and i had stupid friends) my parents found out earlyer this year when i had to go for stitches (24 altho 5 were on the inside) from when i tryed to kill my self. got sent to a shrink and put on meds. whitch nothing is working and ya im still cutting cause its not a medical condition they can cure with a pill. its mental a want a desire and ya u can stop if u want to (believe it or not a lot of people who cut dont know this) i know the worst part is hiding it, and its hard to and a lot of times for me causes more stress whitch = more cutting. so um some un ordered advice have u considered cutting other place like ur legs or hips? fish nets hide things great. make shure u keep them clean their are infections and other things u can get from cutting. try writting or sketching and if tjhat fails limit ur cuts or wate till they heal to add new ones. and i know its hard with friends knowing. i am lucky that my best friend also struggles with this. but talking about it helps (better with some one who know what ur going through) a lot more thatn u think. as for telling ur parent its sooo hard and hell then they watch u all the time. any ways im not telling u to by any means but if u feel they need to know its the only way u will feel better. any ways i was just wondering around the internet and found this and felt like responding. but if u ever wnt to chat i put my aim up.

_Amy

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