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How can I be a good sister?


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ok, i'm not sure if this is the right place to post this, but I need some advice. My sister and I are only 3 years apart and used to be really close when we were growing up. So then about three years ago when she was 19 she got pregnant. She kept the baby, and the "sperm doner" has had no contact with either of them, accept for the few court dates that he decided to show up to. Now it was real hard on the family and we all mad adjustments and sacrafices to help her out with being a single mom. Then she gets involved with a man that is 48 and was married and already had 3 children. She's only 23! He got her pregnant, and she kept that baby girl too. Don't get me wrong, I love my nieces, but now she has two children with no daddy and is trying to still persue things with this man that is just now getting separated from his wife. I don't agree with it at all. I don't think she should be persuing him at all, because she always talks about how she wants to be a good mom, but yet she fights with this bas*ard in front of both children. I personally think she should just be trying to make ends meet. She won't take him to court because then he'll get mad and break up with her. I just can't understand it, and our relationship hasn't been the same for a long time, because I can't find it in my heart to feel sorry for someone who brings this stuff on themselves. What should I do? I can't just put a front up when I'm around her and act like everythings ok, because it's not! I'm so mad at the way she's degrading herself and putting her kids in the middle of it, and putting this guy before her kids well-being. Any advice or anything at all will help. Thanx guys!

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Just because you are her sister doesn't mean that you have to "be nice or put up a front" when you don't want to. I understand that you want to be closer to her to help her.. but listen to this.. I just went through some things with my brother, he is 2 years younger then me. He started hanging out with the wrong people at home and asked me for money- I said yes and was nice, even though he never called me unless it was for money, and I always called him. We have always been close but it's a weird closeness.. I finally had to tell him no last month. I was so fed up! But I didn't want him to not like me because I wouldn't give him money- So I called him and basically tore him a new butt hole. Doesn't work with everyone but it worked with him. I told him that he needed to get his stuff straight and I was going to send him to go live with our father (Retired Navy) and he was going to set him straight. I sent him a plane ticket and now he is doing ten thousand times better!! I think that you should kind of do the same thing with your sister. You should - next time you talk to her- tell her what you think and tell her that you will always be there for her no matter what but you don't agree with what she's doing. That way she knows that if she wants to hear the truth she will always come to you. Good luck!

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