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Thread: Lucky I realise before it was to Late!!!!!

  1. #1
    Member *cassandra*'s Avatar
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    Lucky I realise before it was to Late!!!!!

    I am so angry right now! With good reason to. I met a guy online and we were to meet this Friday night. I was looking forward to it but his true colors showed tonight. He kept saying that he was going to kiss me and if that went well then our walk would turn into something more (sex). I told him that I haven't slept with anyone and that I wanted my first time to be special, so it wasn't going to happen. And told him that he couldn't let it happen. Anyways our conversation went like this
    he said What happens happens
    I said it ain't gonna happen. We got into a bit of an argument over it
    I said maybe meeting isn't such a good idea.
    He said why
    I said you told me you were after a relationship. I said that to me it seems like your just after a bit of action.
    he said well if thats the way ur gunna thnk bout things then yeah we will forget it
    I said ok, but tell me how you see it then?
    He said that ur too doubtful of everything, look its not gunna happen so lets forget it ok
    I said I'm not doubful
    And he logged off
    .


    I guess i just needed to vent over this. I just was going into this with my eyes closed and tonight he helped me open them. I am so angry with myself the signs were there last week. I am so stupid. I probly could have handled the situation better. But to late now huh....

    I was blinded by his charm

    Do you think I handled this wrongly?

  2. #2
    Platinum Member Beec's Avatar
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    I think that maybe you read things into his words that were not there, and he thought you said things you might not mean. He was a bit of an idiot for talking sex with you before meeting.

    And for any guy who is reading this, I offer the following:

    Don't do it. If she says: "Hey buddy, it won't happen." The most response you should ever give is to let her know that when and if it does, then it will happen when we both want it to and not before.

    Women want to know two things: 1. that you have animal lust within you and want to tear off their clothes and take them; and 2. that you can control your animal lust until such a time as they are ready to have sex with you, i.e. you won't just tear off her clothes. These need not be mutually exclusive.

  3. #3
    Member *cassandra*'s Avatar
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    I think that maybe you read things into his words that were not there, and he thought you said things you might not mean. He was a bit of an idiot for talking sex with you before meeting.
    How could I have read things into his words. This was just the end of our conversation and he had been sending me text messages saying I want to lay naked under the sheets with you. There is no way that I read things wrong.

  4. #4
    Platinum Member Beec's Avatar
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    Nothing wrong with his wanting to do that, is there? The whole question is as to when? I did not see him mention a date or time.

    He still should not have mentioned it. Mentioning it shows a lack of control over it. His mention of it so early, made you think he meant that it should happen this week.

    If he had no desire for you, you would not date him for long and certainly would not marry or have sex with him. If he cannot control it, then you shoudl be with him anyway.

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  6. #5
    Member *cassandra*'s Avatar
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    Now see that's the thing he did send me a text message saying that he wanted it to happen friday night. Other wise I wouldn't be so angry! I wouldn't have cared is he had said later on. I'd have been happy with that. But he wanted it to happened Friday he said he was hoping to build a relationship off of us sex together.

  7. #6
    Platinum Member Beec's Avatar
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    Originally Posted by *cassandra*
    Now see that's the thing he did send me a text message saying that he wanted it to happen friday night. Other wise I wouldn't be so angry! I wouldn't have cared is he had said later on. I'd have been happy with that. But he wanted it to happened Friday he said he was hoping to build a relationship off of us sex together.
    Then he is a bigger idiot that I first thought.

    The quickest way to get a woman to have sex with you is to let her know your are interested, but can wait until she is ready. In almost every case, seh'll be ready faster than if you push for it.

  8. #7
    Platinum Member Day_Walker's Avatar
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    If you believe that you avoided meeting this guy becuase he wanted some "action" then trust your decision. There is no point in doubting the decision you made, from the information you had at hand you interpreted what he had said and made your choice, thats all you can do.

  9. #8
    Platinum Member Hope75's Avatar
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    Cassandra,

    I think you handled it perfectly. This guy was behaving like a pig and you called him on it and now you don't have to deal with him.

    You were right to stand up for what you wanted and not let this guy manipulate you into something you clearly don't want.

    Well done!

  10. #9
    Member *cassandra*'s Avatar
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    Thank you Hope75. See I though I was in the wrong and that it was my fault that he acted the way he did. But I'm kinda pleased over the way I handled it. Thanks again

  11. #10
    Platinum Member Beec's Avatar
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    *cassandra*, I'm not saying you handled it perfectly, we very seldom handle anything "perfectly" (See below). But it the big scheme of things, it's clear that the blame lies mostly on his side of the ledger. If he cannot demonstrate more control, he needs to get a clue.

    If an when you do, it will be with a guy who makes you feel comfortable. And pushing you is one sure way to make you uncomfortable. Even if it did not happen Friday, he would probably be pushing you soon after. Which means you would feel less comfortable. In short, he was not the right guy.

    Find a new one. NEXT!

    __________________________________________________ __
    For an example of not perfect, see my intial posts on this thread.

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