job hunting sucks

So I'm job hunting. I've been job hunting since the start of the year. And I am utterly sick of it.

I've been trying to do all the constructive things, i've even got myself a life coach - which has helped me to do all the things I procrastinate - like making phone calls and networking. But I keep getting down about it, and then I get really annoyed at myself. I have this messy kinda background, and I know what I wanna do (i've even done my 5 year plan haha) - and it involves a slightly lateral career move (basically trying to get from systems training into learning & development - throw in a mixed bag background of psychology and research...). And most of the time I can convince myself to keep aiming for what I want to do, and not just cop-out and take any old crap job.

I want to be this motivated, cheerful enthusiastic person - but then I get so down about the process. Its inherently unsatisfying, my confidence has plummeted - I start thinking really negatively "don't bother applying for that, you won't get it" - even though I don't feel down. And when I am down, I get annoyed that I am down... spiral spiral spiral. And then I sit here thinking - really what is the point of it all. Will this career mean enough to me? Am I doing the right thing? I don't know anymore.

I also play this computer game online with my husband - and now they have just made this change (today) to the game. And my hubby is morally opposed to this change - so he is thinking of quitting it (and he is really sad about that too). And it just feels like i have no job, and now one of my leisure time activities is going too. And all our friends are moving and working overseas... the whinge could go on! I guess I just feel like I keep tripping over.. getting discouraged, then wearily hauling myself back up again. I just wish I didn't have to. I was in tears last night.. managed to talk myself out of it this afternoon - which lasted about 4 hours and then I was down again. I feel like I am a burden on him, getting mopey and teary. So then I just keep it inside. I talk to a couple of friends about it. And my life coach. But I see her and I'm fine - all happy & motivated. Its later that I crumble.

I just want to find my old cheerful self again- you know, the person who whistles. A job (or lack thereof) shouldn't define myself - but I don't know how to stop letting it get to me. I feel like I don't see anyone else out there fighting with this kinda stuff.

sadly,

Silent-Whistler.

My wife once worked for a company that specialised in helping people get jobs. They were usually middle management people but the principles are the same. The company provided a resume writing service and support, like office space, clerical assistance etc. But the clients were responsible for their own job search.

They said that you have to treat getting a job as a job in itself. You should spend as many hours a day looking for a job as you would if you had one 7 - 8 hours. Apply for anything in your field or close to it. Make sure you have a good resume, properly written to appeal to the market you want to enter. There are different ways to write resumes, so sometimes two or more editions can be written. For instance: if you have had many jobs that can look bad so you cast the resume to highlight experience in a field of expertise rather than a job by job resume. Make sure it has positives in it - highlighting your achievements: "promoted, designed, implemented, led, etc." are words that show you were pro-active rather than just did what you were told.

Apply, apply, apply. Sometimes you may not be suited for the job you are applying for but may be suited for something else available, now or shortly. Or they can put you onto something else.

Many jobs are found by networking, so don't give up there either. Have some personal business cards printed so you can hand them to anyone who may be able to help you.

Finally, and this is tough - be positive, especially in interviews. An employer makes their mind up about whether a prospective employee is a possible hire in about ten seconds. So make a good impression straight away.

One more thing: after an interview write a letter to the person who interviewed, say you enjoyed the chance to be interviewed and ask for the job.

Thanks for your reply DN. To be entirely honest - I am doing all of those things already! I have been so proactive about doing all that stuff. In my last job interview I got pipped at the post by another candidate who had work experience specifically in that environment. I was the second ranked candidate, which was great. But at the end of the day, still no job.

I guess the reason I am posting is because I feel discouraged and I get down. Everyone I know is off working and being successful. I am doing all the right things, but I really hate the job of "job-hunting". I don't get any reward or satisfaction from it, and I feel like I am always struggling to keep my mood positive. Everything I read, and everyone I speak to says "be positive, be positive". I just find its easier said than done.

I know my confidence and self-esteem seem to be getting worse and worse, and that doesn't help either. But I don't know how to boost my own confidence in this situation.

Edit: just read your second reply, thats a good suggestion. The last interview was through a recruiter, so I didn't have direct access to the actual company. But I'll certainly bear it in mind next time.

I'm job hunting right now too. It does suck. Even if your doing all the right things, when you don't feel good about yourself it's hard to market yourself to employers convincinely. Maybe try to focus on how great it will feel to actually get the job you want. Imagine the exact moment when you get the call saying you got the job and how proud you'll feel and how happy you'll be. It will be a great moment, so put that though in to your mind and write another cover letter.

Happy job hunting.