Ask For Advice
Results 1 to 7 of 7

Thread: why'd he kiss me on the cheek?

  1. #1
    suzi uzi
    Member
    Join Date
    Apr 2005
    Location
    los angeles
    Age
    38
    Posts
    5

    why'd he kiss me on the cheek?

    i have a boyfriend of 4 yrs and a 6 month old daughter with him...but i also have an old (newly single) male friend that i have been hanging out with..sometimes my boyfrind knows i'm out with him but he doesnt know when i'm out with him alone... i dont want my boyfriend to be hurt by my friendship with old friend..but even though i know it hurts my boyfriend,i cant seem to fully cut ties to my friend...my friend and i also have a strong sexual past as well as a strong emotional past...i feel like he truly belongs in my life even if it's only platonic...my old friend knows about my boyfriend and respects him and hasnt tried to make any moves on me..though he has verbally flirted a little bit...but yesterday as i said goodbye to my old friend after spending an awesome day together...he gave me a hug and then kissed me on the cheek...i snapped at him and told him not to kiss me and that it's not right to kiss girls who have boyfriends..he apologized and said it was a friendly kiss...but i dont think it was...none of my other friends kiss me on the cheek..and he never has either...now what?

  2. #2
    Sn0man
    Platinum Member Sn0man's Avatar
    Join Date
    Mar 2004
    Location
    Mars
    Age
    38
    Posts
    2,276
    Gender
    Male
    For the sake of your child and your relationship, stop seeing your old ex. It will cause nothing but stress, greif and possibly infidelity. Don't take that risk, tell him you are committed and have a child who you love. Don't mess it up, which you will, definitely, if you keep seeing your ex. You already know that though, don't you?

  3. #3
    suzi uzi
    Member
    Join Date
    Apr 2005
    Location
    los angeles
    Age
    38
    Posts
    5
    i do know that but we he's not my ex we just been through a rocky 10 yr friendship...and i think he understands me better that my b.f. so i feel like he's one person i can truly be my self around...and its just so damn hard to fully cut ties with someone who still exists in my immediate circle of friends..i've gone yrs without talking to him...but will continue to get "updates" on his life through our mutual friends...do i need to make all new friends?..i'm also the manager of his band..do i need a new job too?

  4. #4
    Celadon
    Platinum Member Celadon's Avatar
    Join Date
    Oct 2003
    Posts
    3,257
    You have two choices: Keep things with him strictly professional, or give him up entirely. He is interested in you. (It's a good thing you snapped at him!)

    You haven't been with your bf as long as this other guy, so maybe you don't the same sense of history. But give him a chance and don't do things that could threaten your relationship with him. Both for your sake and for your daughter's. She's only six months old. Invest your love in her; babies really need that. They can be trying sometimes, but you'll be proud of yourself for giving her all the love and care she needs. Best of luck to you.

  5. #5
    StrcPrstSkrzKrk1903
    Bronze Member StrcPrstSkrzKrk1903's Avatar
    Join Date
    Apr 2005
    Location
    New York
    Age
    31
    Posts
    115
    Gender
    Male
    Thanked
    7
    I'm not sure if I agree with what's been said so far.

    The main thing I disagree with is the idea that just because he kissed you on the cheek, that means he's interested in you. It's hardly an ironclad rule; there are plenty of girls who have boyfriends whom I feel perfectly fine with kissing on the cheek. It could very well have been a friendly kiss.

    That said, if you personally feel uncomfortable with accepting kisses from guys other than your boyfriend, that is another matter, and it's definitely a good idea to draw boundaries, by whatever means necessary.

    Also, if you feel this kiss was uncharacteristic of him, it definitely merits further investigation. Find out if he kisses his other lady friends on a regular basis. Some people simply make it a point of kissing their friends. I can't tell you if that's how your friend is.

    It's hard to completely cut someone important to you out of your life. Before making any rash decisions, I'd ascertain once and for all whether or not he really does have romantic designs on you.

  6. #6
    djedix
    Member djedix's Avatar
    Join Date
    Feb 2005
    Location
    NJ
    Age
    36
    Posts
    333

    Re: why'd he kiss me on the cheek?

    Quote Originally Posted by suzi uzi
    sometimes my boyfrind knows i'm out with him but he doesnt know when i'm out with him alone...
    How would you feel if your boyfriend was alone with other girls, without you knowing? Your acting very selfish.... Drop the ex, and stick with the boyfriend, if that's what you want to do. The ex is making movies because A) he is intrested, and B) your putting yourself in a situation where he is able to become intrested.

    You can't have both.

  7. #7
    suzi uzi
    Member
    Join Date
    Apr 2005
    Location
    los angeles
    Age
    38
    Posts
    5
    thats for the advice guys...i told my bf the truth about hanging out with my old friend and how he kissed me on the cheek and then he broke up with me..i was a bit upset at first but now i feel it's for the best..i was being selfish so now at least i dont have to answer to my bf (or should i say ex bf) and now i only have to worry about my daughter and myself...

  8.  

Top Threads
Friendless and Lonely
Hi all, I've decided to turn to an online forum for advice on a current friendship issue. I want to say thank you in advance to those who take the
Swapping childcare, she stopped responding...
Background: I struggle with intimacy and relationships in general. Coming from abuse and neglect means I've always struggled with trusting others
New to the city, by don't know many people...
Does anyone have any ideas on how to meet new people? I moved to a very large city about a year ago, and although I know a couple of people here
Should I keep this 'friend' in my life?
First of all, thank you for reading and answering me, I don't have a lot of friend as and I don't have one single person that I can trust this to. So
Why does she do this?
I have two really close friends that I met through work. I will call them "A" and "N" to make things easier. A and myself have noticed over the years
Was I right to unfriend my friend?
I haven't unfriended anyone from Facebook since 2013 but today, I broke that rule. I had this Mexican friend on my fb (he's 31 year old). I
Featured Threads
The ex that wouldn't go away
I am engaged to the woman of my dreams. After a couple dates I told everyone I was going to marry her. She told her friends the same. My only hang up
Crying
IM A 63 YEAR OLD WOMAN ,and my life has turned upside down. I cry day and night. For some damn reason I'm lost , alone and just cant figure things
SO (girl of 23) doubting our relationship, won't let go of ex
So currently going through a very complicated situation with my SO. I started seeing this girl in November of last year, while she was still with
My friend has no life...No job and currently lives at home. At nearly 30
One of my very good friends has always been the impressionable type. When I encouraged her to have stronger boundaries, to be less passive and to
Ex is getting married
Hi, I went into no contact with my ex around 14 weeks ago. I had decided that there's nothing left for me to do or say that would bring her back to
Friendless and Lonely
Hi all, I've decided to turn to an online forum for advice on a current friendship issue. I want to say thank you in advance to those who take the
Swapping childcare, she stopped responding...
Background: I struggle with intimacy and relationships in general. Coming from abuse and neglect means I've always struggled with trusting others
Ask For Advice

Tags for this Thread

Posting Permissions

  • You may not post new threads
  • You may not post replies
  • You may not post attachments
  • You may not edit your posts
  •