Help my parents won't let me grow up!

I am a 22- year old female , I have NO LIFE NO FREEDOM.

(My parents) who work all day and we live out in the suburbs they have contral of everything , I do. I have to depend on them. But I dont want too. My parents are not bad people

I can't drive anywhere they refuse to let me drive , I have had my DL since I was 18 , no I didnt do anything to give them reasons to not trust me. THERE ISNT ANY TRANSPORTATION NEAR ME or any stores I live too far out to walk to look for any jobs.

I am SO tired of this Everyday I am at home doing noting with my life I want to be able to maybe go back to school or hang out with people my age and not with these two OLD FOLKS. I dont know anyone who drives

I have been sheltered from hanging or talking to anyone. My life is my internet the window to the outside world. Now they are not bad people (my parents) but can you imange not being able to go drive anywhere or have some self independance? have a job? thats all I want,

So how can I turn my life around when my parents are the ones in contral? I dont understand how can I possible get a job when there is no oppruntities for me to get one?

The solution to your problem is simple...

1. Get a job

2. Get your license if you don't have it already.

3. Get you a car

4. Get your own place

Your a adult so they cannot stop you from doing these things, but while you are still living in their home you must follow their rules.

I take it that they specifically don't let you have a job? Or is it just that they won't let you drive and nothing is in range of the house? Did they refuse to let you go to college, or did you get a degree and aren't using it?

Your parents sound extremely overprotective, which itself is a bad thing, no matter how you might see it right now. What they are neglecting is your development. They should be encouraging you to get a car, get a job, go do your own shopping, get out of the house, get an apartment, move out on your own, go to college if you haven't already, improve yourself, get some friends and hobbies. Instead it sounds like they're not merely discouraging these things, but trying to force them to never happen.

I think the very first thing you need to get out of your head is this constant excuse-making: "My parents are not bad people." You said that twice, but that doesn't make me believe it. In fact your parents are doing something very bad to you and probably don't even understand it.

I think you need to step up and take responsibility for yourself and what you need to do. You do need to develop and your parents should have been letting you do so, but you should also be getting your own self out of this whether they like it or not. Getting a job may be the first sep to you having some independence. You are 22. They may not let you do things, but you give them the authority to keep you from doing things.

Why don't you take the initative to get yourself a job? Your parents may not feel that you are ready to face the world yet, so you will have to prove it to them. Put together your resume, e-mail it and just go for it! How could your parents be upset with you if you take initative?

If you're sitting at home doing nothing with your day, then I would imagine that would make your parents think that you are not responsible enough to be on your own since you haven't made any effort.

Your parents grew up, got jobs, married, started a family. Why shouldn't you? Tell them what you are feeling because you love and care about them. But if they are not receptive to your feelings, go out and do what you want anyway. They are not your employers or jailers. You are not a minor. You make decisions for you.

I agree with everything everyone else has said. If you want to go to college, but can't afford it, fill out a FAFSA form. You may be eligible for financial aid. Apply for student loans.

Your parents aren't keeping you your life - you are! Come up with a plan to move out, come up with a budget. Have your parents help you draw this up.

If you have any questions on specifically what to do, feel free to send me a PM. good luck!!!

I think you need to speak to your parents about this. If they can't see reason ask them what they were doing when they were your age. People have kids younger than you. I'm taking my last 2 months at college and then my grandparents want me to find a job and move out.

Surely thats what the majoraty of parents want but if not, you need to reason with them and don't take no for an answer.

~S.

You need to move out honey, but in order to do that you need yourself a job and a ride to work--until you get a car. Is there anyone of your friends that you can room with, someone who understands your situation and would help you right now until you get on your feet?

Having your own money(job) means having independence...and no "need" to take mistreatment from anyone ( boyfriend, husband, parents).. always remember that. Good luck to you!

If you are on good terms with your parents, and they want to help you start your own life, perhaps they can loan you some money, to help you rent your own place until your paychecks start rolling in.

Just leave! Go to the big city!

I can't believe some of the things people say! I am 20 years old, and my parents have complete control over my life as well. They almost talked me out of going to college, but luckily, I saved up enough money to send myself to school. The only reason my parents let me get a job is because my high school required a career course which made me get a job.

When you love your parents as much as I do, you don't want to do anything to upset them. I know that my parents get angry when I argue about their 10:00 curfew, and about them tracking the damn mileage on my car, which I pay for myself! Regardless of how old she is, I know that feeling of not wanting to rebel against the people you have known your whole life. My parents were the only people I had up until I started dating my boyfriend, who is 13 years older than me, and I've kept a secret from my parents for 2 years. He hates my parents and told me every bullheaded thing most of you told this poor girl. Most of you didn't give advice, just the same old, do what you want, adage that people who have never experienced this situation always say.

I think that you and I have a lot in common, and could probably be of great help to each other. If you want to send me a message, perhaps we can come up with some ways to get out of this situation. It's hard, I know it....but it's really up to us to do it.

Momo, we are not supposed to stay under the control of our parents forever. We need to get out and be us and live by our own wits, and make our own decisions, and endure the experience of doing so good or bad. And sooner or later, your parents needs to show you enough respect to let that happen.

You've already done some of that, or you would not have gone to college or gotten a job. Now, you are sneaking around with a boyfriend behind their back. These are all forms of rebellion, and they are not necessarily bad. It would be better if you were in a position to move out and live your life, but you are not there yet. You'll get there.

Rebellion is not always easy and need not take the form or you telling your parents to take a long trip off a short pier or permanently switch their residence to satan's neighborhood. But sooner or later, you need to think and decide for yourself.

What happens when you get job offers? Say one is your dream job three hours away by car and another is a lousy job around the corner. Which one would you take? My parents would tell me to take the dream job, but they knew they could not control me entirely long before I was 18. At 20, they had less control. At 24, I was the boss of six people and in charge of millions in assets. I had to think for myself, and I did not always do it correctly, but I learned and still am. I respect my parents and love them, and I listen to them, but I make my own decisions.

Sooner or later we all should and need to to be complete human beings.

Momo - I'm just curious - what country are you in? Are your parents very old-fashioned?

The thing is - the job of the parents is to raise normal, functional human beings. There comes a time when you have to stop being a child, and become a real adult. 100 years ago, you would have had a few children by now with your husband.

It's not being disrespectful towards your parents! I think what's being disrespectful is not going out and become the adult that they taught you to be.

Don't you think your parents would like to be alone - you know - without a child around? I know of lots of couples whose marriages grew stronger once the kids left the house. There was much less marital tension, and then they got to have fun spoiling the grandchildren when they visit once a month.

You say you don't want to upset your parents, but you've been extremely disrespectful towards them by hiding your relationship from them. You're an adult woman - take charge of your life!