Just A Question??

I'd just like to ask how do you deal with a guy that has become clingy all of a sudden?.

Ok here's why I'm asking. There is a guy that I work with who doesn't really say alot to me but over the last couple of nights he's been near me alot, talking, promising to be nice, joking around that sort of stuff. Now I was sitting by myself before I started work and he came and sat with me, plenty of other places to sit, but he sat with me. We were talking. Then I was checking my messages on my mobile and he said to me give me your number so I can give it to Adam (another guy we work with). I said no I don't give my number to anyone, he asked why not and I said cause. I got up and left to clock on. Now we have to detour to clock on. He had already clocked on so he was still in the canteen but I was walking back up the corridor to where we work and he walked down to me then began walking back with me. I asked him what he was doing he said he didn't know. So ok we're walking in and he said that he promised to be nice if I was. Which I said ok. Little things happened during the night. Like everytime I would walk past him he'd call my name or smile at me and say I promised to be nice, if your nice to me or if I went to look at something he would say "Fine don't ask me then.". Then I went into a room and closed the door behind me and he kept opening it and looking in so I went out the opposite door. And at the end of the night I was in the office sitting at the computer and he came up start leaning on me, chatting away. I like my space. Anyways I get out to the car park and the girls I work with commented on him hanging on me all night. That was fine cause I thought it was only 1 night right, wrong. The next night he promised to be nice again, by this point he's driving me nuts, Although he is very sweet. I put up with it didn't see him much that night. So there's a night off and when we get back the next night all the girls and I were sitting at our table before we started. He walks over there are 2 seats 1 next to me with someones stuff infront of it (clearly you could tell that someone was sitting there) and one next to someone else where nobody was sitting he sits right next to me in her in seat. So 2 girls come from outside seeing this and tell him to scoot over so they can sit between us. And everytime he sees me it always "smile Cass", "I promise to be nice." or " I am being nice". The girls think that he likes me, I don't see him in that way and I'm finding him to be a little to clingy for me. He's always leaning on me or like the other night he had my arm pinned behind my back. Don't ask my why.

Does it sound like he likes me or is he just being friendly? And how do I get him to back off a bit even if he is just being friendly and nothing else.

Tell him you have herpes!

No, seriously (even though he'll probably back off after that!) It sounds like he likes you, but you obviously don't like him back. I think if you just ignore him a little longer, the problem will take care of itself. You could casually bring up that you have a "hot date" tonight with a strapping guy. Or, tell him that there is this guy you met last week and that you're madly in love with. Whenever I've had guys do that stuff to me, 95% of the time, as soon as I start mentioning other guys, they back off.

Good luck!!!

Annie's advice is good but if it oesn't work real soon than you may have to be a little moe direct. When he says for the umpteenth time "Be nice" say coldly "Not today" and walk on. Freeze him out.

Annie24 Said

I think if you just ignore him a little longer, the problem will take care of itself. You could casually bring up that you have a "hot date" tonight with a strapping guy. Or, tell him that there is this guy you met last week and that you're madly in love with. Whenever I've had guys do that stuff to me, 95% of the time, as soon as I start mentioning other guys, they back off.

Ok firstly ignoring him isn't an option we work together, and as for telling him that I have a "hot date" I guess I could give it a try. Fingers crossed it works.

DN Said

When he says for the umpteenth time "Be nice" say coldly "Not today" and walk on. Freeze him out.

I can honestly say that saying that to him won't even faze him. Cause I have said it to him and very coldly and still he hangs off me. I even asked him why he was being so clingy. He said he wasnt. But I don't want to come out and say "Back off I'm not interested in you" I have to work with him every night. Anything else I can try and possibly without hurting his feelings. I don't even know why his intrested in me of all people.

Oh and Thanks for the advice guys.

hmmm.... ok, I guess you can't totally ignore him. If you're stuck working side by side one day, you can say something like, "Oh my gosh! The hottest man just moved in next door to me! How should I get his attention? Should I bake him cookies as a welcome present, should I ask him to come over and help me fix my leaky faucet? What should I wear?" And then continue to talk his ear off.

Just talk on about some other guy. Hopefully, he'll get the hint. If he ever asks you out, then you can nicely turn him down. (I just hope he gets the hint soon!!!) good luck!

Annie's advice is good, also in the same conversation try asking him if he has any girlfriends - if he says no, then say "I bet there are lots of girls who would be interested. Not all of course, sometimes people just don't have that sort of chemistry." Then immediately say "sorry, gotta go". And leave. He may get the hint then. And you have made your disinterest in him plain but impersonal.

Another thing to try may be to elaborately yawn (with a tranparent attempt to cover it up) every time he talks at you. Glazed eyes and a distracted expression help as well.