VHSshowdown...you are right my friend!!!

Been following this thread for a while. Keefy glad you came to this conclusion. This "woman" doesn't sound worth the sweat off your "fuzzy beanbag" LOL.

I hope you stay with this conviction...because it IS what it is.

Whoever this chick is, she needs to get some SERIOUS therapy, because you sound like one helluva guy. I bet the dude she is with has NO clue you exist....so who is to say she wouldn't sneak behind your back IF you did finally land her?? Oh the webs people weave!!

Stay strong!!!

I hate to say it but her birthday is exactly one week from today. I went last week and got her a very impersonal birthday card. It was somewhat humorous and contained no mushy messages. I think I am just going to chalk it up to a 3 dollar loss and throw the card in the garbage.

At this point, I dont think she deserves that from me. I have even been toying with the idea of not acknowledging her birthday AT ALL! No simple text message or email saying, "Happy Birthday". Nothing! I know I have read some suggestions and even made some that this sort of action is almost a death sentence for reconcilliation. How true is that? It is no longer my "job" to acknowledge her or anything about her, including her birthday. That position belongs to old man wrinkly bean bag!

Let me share with you now, the details of the last few days. Basically it started with me emailing her a very long and heartfelt letter that was stating that it is very hard for me to continue denying my feelings and act as if I dont care. It makes me act weird around her and I am not being myself. Told her I was, from now on, just act naturally and if it is too hard for her, it is her choice to stay away from me. I read this to a few of you and you know how loving it was. Well, I texted her to let her know I had sent it. She replied with, "I know, am writing reply now".

So I hop online and see her on messenger and we begin chatting. She was being very sharp with me so I asked if she was mad and she said no, she was frustrated. I had interrupted her show. So I stop talking to her and get her email. It is all about how I am so impatient and how I dwell on stuff too much and all of this crap. She was really giving it to me. After I had poured my heart out to her, she never acknowledged a single word from my original email. Instead, she sat there and criticized the hell out of me. So, after reading this, I needed to sleep on it before I did something impulsive. The next day, I read it again and cant help but admit to how much it upset me. I sent her a text, "Not sure I deserved being chastised like you did me in that email after pouring my heart out, but whatever. Was pretty mean. Thanks alot". Got no response of course. I also sent her an email that basically said, "It was really mean of you to rip on me after I poured my heart out to you. You said while we were chatting to 'just wait until you read the email, you will feel better' well what exactly am I suppose to feel better about? That I am an annoying pain in your ***, but you still would like to have lunch sometime? C'mon". She did, after chastising and belittling me, mention TWICE that she would like to get together and have lunch sometime soon.(HUH?) I then go on to say, "I guess I am really wasting my time with you. Like I have said before, it seems the only way I can win with you is to leave you alone". And left it at that. I haven't gotten a response from her at all.

The next day I am at work and I walk around the corner. Guess who is standing right there? yep. I was going to just keep on walking without acknowledging her at all and once I get past her I hear her say, "Hey XXXXX" So I turn and say, "Hey whats up" and keep on going. The she says, "Good luck today" I had to go before a promotion board. I turned again and said, while still walking, "I just did it". Turned back and kept going. Havent spoken, texted, or emailed her since. I also havent heard from her either. The day after getting her reply, I blocked her email again and plan on leaving it blocked. It really hurt me that she was like that to me. Anyways, Im over it, or slowly going to get over it and life will go on. I think I feel some serious hate for her right now.

So, I just wanted to say what was going on before you guys tell me that I am making a big mistake in ignoring her birthday. Knowing all of the facts now, what do you think??

Keith,

IGNORE THE HECK OUTTA HER.

Bet you weren't expecting that from me huh?

Seriously tho, if you see her, wish her a happy birthday, but other than that, don't go out of your way.

Think of it like this, she hasn't really been treating you like much of a friend lately and I don't know about you, but a friend is the only one that I would go out of my way for.

That's just my opinion, but honestly it might be stemming from my own frustrations with my ex. I'm getting to a point where I really do NOT want much contact with him. He gets on my nerves sometimes actually and now that I'm further away from the pain of our seperation, the more I am seeing just how much he's rubbed me the wrong way and for how long.

So, my advice? Don't give her the card, text her if you feel like it that day, but other than that, no big deal...

~Coda

Keefy,

If it was me, I would still send it. I would want to know that I have done all that I could. I don't want to regret anything in life. I would send it to her, or just put it on her desk then walk away. Do whatever you heart tells you todo. You already bought the card, might as well give it to her, or mail it to her.

This is just what I would do. If you are at your end, then just send it and let things cool down for awhile. If you don't send it, you will regret it later on if you are like me and the WHAT If's will drive you crazy.

Better off being guilt/regret free!

Hope you all have a good weekend. Don't know if its a long weekend down there, but it is here. Victoria Day, or as we call it, May 2-4 weekend. Biggest drinking weekend of the year!!!! I'm sure I will be passed out on the canoe in the middle of the lake!!!

hello all

vhs your posts are fun and humorous god bless you for standing up to your ex and moving on with your life

keefy

I am glad you see the worth in you and are doing well I love your posts also.

I tried to call my ex before and he has completely tuned me out .

It has been 2 years He will not return my calls. I even saw him on the bus once just to avoid him afterwards.

I put myself out there and drove myself and him crazy when I broke up

He does not want to speak with me. I FEEL HE IS BEING EITHER childish or has not really learned how to forgive . I know you can't force someone to do things.

I know this but me I am a forgivng person who is willing to accept and move on with peace.

Am I wasting my time like my friends say or give it time tillhe truly comes around?

Welcome to this thread Fantasia.

So it has been two years and you still have trouble with him? I cant sit here and advise you that it isnt worth the time and effort because, to you obviously, it is. If you can give more details about what happened, maybe we can help you.

Wow Fantasia got a hello ..and not me huh???

How YOU doin Keefy??

Hello all! How is everyone after the weekend? And welcome Fantasia and WebChick, glad to have you aboard and we welcome your inputs, advice and vents.

My weekend was ok, did alot of cleaning and some packing for my move next month. I look forward to starting fresh! Watched "Meet the Fockers" that was pretty good, I laughed my butt off at some parts!! Needed it too!

And I think Keefy and I are gonna swap EXes!! LOL

Hello My Boys!!! (And two new additions!)

I'm so sorry that I haven't been on here for a while, but things have been so hectic in life and I've been so much more HAPPY that I haven't really "needed" to come on here as much.

Just to let you know, I've decided that for now, I do not want to go back to my ex. I've been spending alot of time thinking about the past and why I broke it off with him in the first place and have realized some things. I was so terrified of "loosing" what I thought I wanted, of being alone, of never finding someone like him again, that I forgot all the things about him that I didn't care for! Now that I've been going out with other people and spending time with them, I realize how much of myself I lost. I had become this whole new person that I didn't like anymore. This person that couldn't really discuss anything intelligent in the areas in which I USED to be proficient in. I found out that I didn't LIKE ME anymore!!! I started to regain that by going out with my friends, reading and watching what I was interested in (and not my ex) and stopped worrying over what other people thought and only what I thought.

I can honestly say to you all, I am so much HAPPIER NOW! I love this new life! I LOVE ME!!

Plus, I have had a "crush" on a certain guy for a couple of weeks now and he asked me out this weekend!!!! I couldn't believe it!!! He called me and asked me to go see a movie with him and dinner. I was stunned! This is a guy known for only going out with "Hot" intelligent chicks. While I'm intelligent, I am NOT Hot!!! I may be cute, but definitely not HOT (or atleast not yet) so this was a HUGE ego booster! I had so much fun with him too! We talked and talked after the movie and I really felt like we were "getting to know" each other. He said several times that this was stuff he hadn't really told other people and he seemed befuddled by it, like happily surprised! I REALLY like him but most of all, I LIKED me around him! I could be myself!!! After years of not being able to be myself and now I can!

I'm having a great life now people and the funniest thing is, is that now that I've decided that I don't want to go back to the ex right now, he's constantly calling asking me out!!! It's hilarious!

Much love to you all! Let me know how you all are doing!

KEEFY!!! Man you need to learn to contact me in NORMAL hours!!!! hahaha

Hey all,

Last night and today aren't going so well for me so far. I miss the ex really bad, and want to talk with her/see her. Haven't talked with her since last Monday, and haven't called her since the beginning of May. I want to talk with her, but I realise the state that I am in, it isn't a good idea. I can only talk to her when I have the confidence to do so, but its funny, because when I have the confidence, I don't want to talk to her/don't need to talk to her.

The last time I talked to her, she called me to tell me she got the best mark in her class on her midterm. She was really excited. We only talked for a minute or 2, because I was making diner.

Funny how things work, I want her to call me, but she never does, when I least expect her to call, then she does!

I can't stop wondering why she wants my help with her music. I know I've been the only one that hasn't given up on her, but its more out of my way then anyone elses. She has also made a few references lately about me being able to make her happy.

I wish she would just get out of my head, and I could go back to being confident in what I am doing. I want to call her and tell her about my wonderfull weekend at the cottage.

I've also been having alot of dreams about her lately. Mostly us fighting, and me yelling and screaming at her, or her hurting me, upsetting me. I think I had hit her also in one of my dreams which scares the **** out of me, because that isn't me at ALL!

Any thoughts on this, or any boosts of confidence?

An important thing to keep in mind about the characters you come in contact with or the characters you become in your dream is to first consider how they represent aspect of your own self. Characters in your dreams also represent unfinished communication with that person and may continue to appear in your dream until the conflict is resolved. Consider also how you know the people your see in your dreams and whether they not acting like themselves

Fear and anxiety are the most commonly expressed emotions in dreams. Anger ranks next. Fear, anger, and sadness occur twice as often as pleasant emotions. It is important to note that the feelings we experience in dreams are not symbols of something else but are reflections of our real feelings. Such feelings may not have been repressed during the day and as a result are coming out in your dreams

Ok I got this from link removed, really good site for helping you to explain your dreams, you might find it handy.

Blue I cant tell you anything about what dreams mean. I am, however, glad to hear you are holding out so well. Good Job!!

Webchick...no...how YOU doin'?

Well, I did something you guys may not think is a good thing, but it felt and still feels good that I did it. I ran into her at work this morning and I DID give her the birthday card. I saw her and this was the following exchange:

I said, "hey, I figured since I won't see you again that I would go ahead and give this to you now". I then handed her the card. She said with a startled look on her face, "You won't see me again??" I corrected myself and said, "for the rest of the week...before your birthday". She said "Oh..thank you so much that's very sweet". We went on to exchange pleasantries for about five minutes and went our separate ways. It was a very warm meeting and it left me feeling good. Not about us but more about myself and how it really was thoughtful of me to give her that card without expecting anything, not even a thank you, in return. It was funny how we proceeded to act as if the conversation we had on Friday never even took place. She seemed genuinely glad to see me, even before she knew I had the card for her, she was very relaxed, and she spent the entire time with a natural smile on her face.

Unless she comes to me, she wont see or hear from me again for a while. It's just nice to know that the last experience she will share with me...for however long...was such a pleasant one. Not for her, for me. Makes ME feel better. I figure that since I have blown up at her so many times and she has forgiven me, it's only fair that I do the same this once. I understand her frustrations somewhat, but I am also keeping my own dignity intact. No more chasing, begging, pleading, or any of that other nonsense. I am in control now and that's how it will stay.

Other than that I am glad to see everyone is doing so well!!

She has just sent me an email thanking me for the card again. It was nice, but I will not be replying nor emailing her at all for a while.

Keefy,

Wow, this was really a good exchange, especially since you don't feel such a need to be recognized for a kind and good deed and haven't wanted to respond to her email.

I wish I could tell you that it will get all better very soon and that you two will be back together, but I just don't know anymore.

I am at the point in my life where I do NOT want the ex back anymore. Not because I don't like him or love, I do, but we just aren't right for each other in so many aspects and now that I've had some time to get away from him, I've started seeing that.

I'm sorry we keep missing each other. I got food poisoning from dinner on Sunday night and haven't felt all that great since then.

Glad everyone seems to be doing so well. Much love to all.

Wow, it looks like we all are following the same lead, dont really care to get back with our EXes at this point in time!! Well good for us!! Blue is doing good, Coda is doing great it sounds like, 'cept for the food poisoning BLAH! (hope you are feeling better coda), keefy you are making strides, and I think about my EX here and there, but I am refusing to give in and stoop to her level!!

I could call her up, suck axx, and get back in her life, but I dont really care to be a doormat to her, I need doormats for my new house!!

keefy-

I chased my ex down and and left him upset where he refuses to even listen to me as if he thinks I am psycho. Which I am not for the record.

I really don't know what to do right now. I guess I pushed him too far like you bother a dog until he bites for making him angry.

Guys, I have started a new thread in the healing getting over it section. That's where I should be. Would be nice if you guys could join me.

Thread name is 'A new post for me' Or some other nonsense...lemme double check

Yeah, that's the name of it. See ya there !!