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Thread: Eye contact - what does it mean?

  1. #1
    Universe
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    Eye contact - what does it mean?

    So they say that when you make eye contact with a girl, you should not break it before she does to show that you're not afraid. But I always find myself in what feels like a staring contest. And I always lose. I realized that I never blink and I'm wondering if blinking constitutes breaking eye contact. I think I could win the staring contest if I'm allowed to blink. I know how silly this all sounds. But I'm 26 and just came out of a 6 year relationship. So I've never really been in the game before.
    I just keep trying not to break eye contact and these women just don't stop staring into me until I smile or look away. It gets very awkward. I mean - it's lasted over 10 seconds sometimes. When they do this, should I just say Hi right away and start talking to them?

    I feel like such a dork right now.

  2. #2
    tanned_production
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    Hey! Awh... eye contact shouldnt be a staring contest. You could really freak someone out that way. If you find the other person making eye contact back at you... smile, and see what their reaction is. You can usually tell from little things, what the other person wants.

    You'll figure it out... Good luck!

  3. #3
    Mysterious Gurl
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    Hiya,
    I agree with tanned production. Smile if they give you eye signals.
    Sometime when I'm sat at school people give me eye contact and I look behind me to see if they are staring at me or someone else.

    If they smile or say hi to you, you know then your safe to start a conversation.

    Good luck!
    Miya

  4. #4
    Beec
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    Why are you resisting smiling when you make eye contact? Are you in a contest? You shouldn't be.

    Humans only make prolonged eye contact when they are aggressive or attracted. So, these women may think you want them or want to kill them. A confident little smile will go a long way to easing any fears they might have.

    If I were in your shoes, I go read up on body language. It will help in figuring out which women are interested and how they feel.

  5. #5
    Massari
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    Quote Originally Posted by " If you find the other person making eye contact back at you... smile, and see what their reaction is. [/b
    [/color]

    exactly eyecontact alone is not good at all.. girls look at you.. some of them smile at you the other's are waitomg to get a respoms from you.. try it.. you won't regret it.

  6. #6
    Day_Walker
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    Eye contact shouldnt be a contest 10 seconds seems excessive. There are two rules to take note of:

    If eye contact lasts for 3 continious seconds then there is an interest and you should talk to the person.

    If eye contact is made twice within a 60 second time period then you should talk to the person.

    The idea is to take notice of when this happens, If you are attracted to the girl then by all means talk to her if the eye contact is positive. Smiling is also a good signal when the eye contact shows that she has an interest. All its going to take is for you to talk to her and see if there is some kind of connection.

  7. #7
    Universe
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    I always thought smiling made you look nervous and insecure.

    My other problem is that I don't like my smile.
    A confident little smile will go a long way to easing any fears they might have.
    Yeah. Like - I can't make my smile look confident. I guess I'll practice in the mirror. I should read up on body language too.

    Thanks for all of your thoughts.

    I don't try to make it a staring contest. I just read in some dating advice book that if you break eye contact first, you look scared. So I've been trying to hold it until she looks away. But they never do. Yes, 10 seconds IS excessive. That's why I had to post this. Because obviously I don't want it to last that long.

    But all of your thoughts are helpful. I guess I didn't realize that you have to go right up to her once the eye contact interest has been established.

    Meeting people is so alien to me. Or maybe I'm the alien. Hmmm.
    But I feel more comfortable about it now. Thanks again.

  8. #8
    tanned_production
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    Smiling shouldnt make you look nervous and insecure... its more of a signal to the other person that you're interested. You dont HAVE to approach them afterwards, but its probably what they're expecting. If you dont like your smile... just give a little smile.. or if you're confident, a wink. Whats the worst that can happen?

    And you're not an alien .. just new to this whole eye contact business. You'll get the hang of it, I promise.

    Good luck, keep us posted!

    <3

  9. #9
    Beec
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    I agree in that smiling is rarely a bad thing. And that one need not approach the person with whom you have just had eye contact right away. In fact, make a quick very obvious approach right after some eye contact would be bad. Her eye contact may say that you can approach her, but she does not want the world to know that either, in most cases. Use some self control, try and find a discrete way to go talk to her, if you can. If you cannot, then try to mkae the conversation short and give her a way to contact you.

  10. #10
    tanned_production
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    everyone is giving such good advice... follow everything that has been said, and you should be just fine. Try it out... and let us know how things turn out!!

    <3

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