I love my brother.. but ....

Sorry this is sorta long...

My brother is 21 years old. He hasn't graduated... he's been into drugs since he was about 16... and he's basically messed up a good portion of his life. He hasn't lived at home for about the past... year and a half maybe .... because him and my mom dont get along... ever since he's been about 17 he's been in and out of our house. He can't keep a steady job.. and is basically bumming off whatever he can get. But as of the end of next month he wont have a place to live so he wants to move home.. that's fine... both me and my dad have clearly stated to him and my mom that if things are going to go back to the way they were than we can't have him here.... him and my mom faught constantly.. like yelling screaming.. the whole 9 yards. My house wasn't a very happy place. It's been alright with just me and my parents... we get along for the most part... and my brother comes home every sunday to do laundry and have a decent meal. So fine he wants to move home.. not a big deal.... tonight... our phone rings.. it's him... he had 6 warrants out for his arrest .... adn one of his ex-employers was a cop and ran a background check on him.. and when he went to pick up his t-4 slip.. he got arrested. One of them is for assult.. and i don't know what else.... he's 21 (i'm in sask canada) so there's a good chance he could end up with jail time.... He's my brother.. i love him to death.. but i sure don't like him very much.... My parents don't know what to do.. there isn't much tehy can do.... the other day he told me that ... it's a good thing that i've watched him screw up his whole life because then i don't have to make stupid mistakes.. i've learned from him.. which i have.... but like.. what do i say to that? I guess my problem.. if you want to call it that.... is ... i'm scared for him..... i always am..... i worry about him....and there's absolutely nothing i can do.... he's been arrested before... when he was 17..he got off with some community serivce and 2 years probation.... so he was lucky... he was a minor.... that's been wiped from his criminal record.. but now there'sa chance that's all gonna come back to bite him in the ass..... I'm scared for him.. that he's gonna end up with jail time... or something's gonna happen to him..... i've always been scared that he might do something drastic... something.. like...suicide.... i do'nt think he would.. but that's always something that has terrified the hell outta me.. i know he gets depressed.... and i knwo he doesn't handle it very well....

If anyone can offer me... anything.... advice...some comfort.. anything.. it would be appreciated.... if you have any questions.. i'll answer them as well....

Thanks for anything

Wow... your family has sure been through a lot. You sound like you have a good head on your shoulders though.

I can't imagine what you must be feeling... I'd be terrified for him. even if i didnt like him, I would still care about him.

My advice... is pray. i dont know if you're religious or not... I'm not really preachy or anything, but i know that when times get hard... it helps to know that theres someone watching over me.

maybe talk to a counseller... or just talk to your parents.

Im sure all of you will be able to get through this... you've come a long ways so far.

If you get a chance to talk to your brother, tell him that you love him, and care about him. I'm sure those are words he'd love to hear.

As for you... learn from his mistakes... and don't make the same ones. You sound smart...

You'll be fine... I can tell.

It is hard, but things will get easier

Sorry I cant give any better advice

Hi hun,

I have a pretty good idea of what your going through. My family has similar problems. Although my younger brother is in a similar situation and has gotteninto some trouble in the past, the big problem in our family is my uncle, who's in a similar situation to your brother, although he's 48 years old, and has been causing trouble everyonce and a while since evidently before i was born. His last episode has caused more uproar than he usually tends to, but thats because of what he did this time (Pm me and i'll explain, i don't want to hijack this thread from you).

The best advice i can give is to talk about it. Talk with your brother, talk with your parents, talk with other family and friends. Make sure your feelings are known, and try to learn as much about the situation as possible. From personal experience with my uncle, his situation was generally kept quiet and swept u8nder the rug unless he got himself into real trouble (i.e. he did a short jail term a number of years ago). Sweeping things under the rug doesn't solve anything, so keep talking about it in order to work towards a solution.

Feel free to Pm or Im me if you need someone to talk to about this.

mtastic

Sorry i just skimmed over your story, i have alot of post to do tonight. Its hard for you to see your brother fall and keep falling. One day he will look back on his life and wonder what happened. I hope for his sake and your families that he will turn his life around. i have seen an old friend fall to drugs and crime, its hard to see someone struggle through life, and you feeling like you can't do a thing. I wish your brother will turn his life around. Who knows maybe one day he will be a symbol of how someone can turn their life around.

Your brother sounds like he is a reasonable person from the way you describe him despite the fact that his actions cause others pain. Have you sat him down with you and told him you loved him recently and that you care about him and want to do whatever you can to help him get back on the right track? Sometimes people just need to hear stuff like that from their family or loved ones.