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Thread: Born without emotions??

  1. #1
    MyNinja
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    Born without emotions??

    Hi everyone,

    I've been debating this topic in my mind for as long I can remember. I think I may be lacking the normal emotions that people have for thier immediate family. I mean, I don't cry at funerals and Im not thrilled when a child is born. (all this within the family) My uncle died from aids and I didn't shed a tear. My sister says she wished she was as "strong" as i am because she cries over everything, even certain commercials stirs her up.

    Get this, that when any relative of the family hugs me, i don't hug them back of the hug is really weak. I don't smile as much as I think I should when I'm with them and I hardly say anything.

    But here's the real twist, I can be "emotional" around my friends and this one teacher Ive known for five years. I can tell them everything and Im the one doing the hugging! It's like I'm related to them in a sense. Im more interested in thier family than I am my own most of the time. Is my brain completely out of touch with reality? Did something happen to me as a child? I can tell you this that when I was five my mom allowed me and my sister to be verbally and physically abused by my once stepdad. Here's a story.... We had five minutes to eat these huge hamburgers and if we didn't finish we would be spanked. He actually set these alarm clocks on the kitchen table....when we got out the the bath, he wanted to smell us to make sure we washed off. There's a ton I can tell you.

    none of those incidents bug me at all, in fact it's kind of funny looking back on it. I have to say that my dad is the only one i "talk" to , but still have a significant amout of trouble showing sincere emotions......this is all too confusing. thanks for reading though, all commets welcome

  2. #2
    boredguy
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    I think sometimes theres certain people with whom we can show emotions better than others. for most its family, but for people like you and me, we show emotion better with friends. (and yes a teacher or two too!). Theres nothign wrong with you dear, its just harder around some people to show emotions. its natural for all us humans. hugs mean a lot with some people, and sometimes they are jus nothing but flesh squeezing flesh. dont worry too much about it.
    cheers

  3. #3
    DN

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    The stories of abuse may be the cause of the problem. You may have shut down those emotions towards the family - a kind of defence mechanism.

    I think you should seek professional help to get this sorted out, it could well affect personal relationships in the future, boyfriends, husband, children etc.

    The good thing is that you recognise what is happening - now you have to find out why and how to deal with it.

    Good luck

  4. #4
    MyNinja
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    I dont think i need to seek professional help so much as to try to see whats going on im my mind because im well aware of that.

    this so called "problem" is not making me crazy, obviously because i have friends, it was jusst something i was concerned about. its not like i cant have good relationships with people, i.e boyfriends, etc because Im actually a good motivator, as ive been told...

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    DropToZero
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    I don't really have any advice...I'm just the same way. I'm not sure why I don't feel much when I'm around friends or grievances. I had two family members die within the past month...and same as you, I didn't really feel anything....never really gave it any thought. I almost feel bad though. I dont know why I don't show much emotion...I go out with friends and hang, meet ppl, and have fun. But everytime we get done hanging out and having a good time, my best friend is always like 'You look like you weren't having much fun"....I dont understand...I'm having a great time...just b/c I don't wear my emotions on my sleeve...

  6. #6
    ComputerGuy
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    I'm with monetlisa, while you say they don't bug you and consciously they may not, there is most likely been some emotional damage done on a subconscious level that you are unaware of but as a result is affecting you now.

    You say you don't need to seek professional help but you want to sort out what is going on in ur mind. This is exactly what seeking professional help will do, help you to work out exactly what is causing this. There is no reason for you to try and figure out this problem on your own, and it doesn't make you any less of a person or whatever for seeing a counsellor...I had to see one after my breakup...long story...but I felt like an idiot or a reject...almost an outcast for seeing a counsellor, since then I realise it's not the big of a deal, and no one really cares even if their opinion did matter.

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    Jetta
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    Maybe you have some kind of attachment disorder.

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    MyNinja
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    many are saying that i should seek profesional help, But thats not the case. Ive had fine relationships with guys and i dont hide any emotions. this is only happening within the family. My family is just saying thats the way i am. My sister is the exact opposite of me. she cries over everything and shes in a loving relationship. Our childhood has not affected us is the way that it could have because we are very forgiving ppl. and dont say your arent forgiving because you have no emotions..maybe this is just the way god made me, everything happens for a reason....im in not repressed mode because im consciously aware of my reactions and how im feeling, and unconsciously Im a very loving and forgiving person, ( if that make any sense to you)i forgave my stepdad a long time ago, thats why i see it as a funny incident today, no gruges are held in me

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    MyNinja
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    i can tell you guys this that i did seek some counseling in college because i was really lonely in highschool and i sure as heck didnt want experience the same thing in college, now i have a ton of friends that i can barely keep up with. its a really good feeling.

    the reason i was lonely in high school was because i was a biology geek and i dressed out of the ordinary and did my hair in different styles. i like the way i looked and no one accepted me but my bio teacher. in college i still dress different and my hair is the way i want it and my friends say they love me. thata counselor helped me speak up more to those who are mean and helped me to love myself more for sho god made me to be.....suprema i agree with you that my family is the blame for the way i am in many good and bad aspects

  10. #10
    DN

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    the fact that you have good relationships with friends is beside the point, you do not have strong relations with your immediate family and that is unusual. I assume it is a concern to you otherwise why bother posting about it on here.

    It is, of course, entirely up to you whether you seek help or not. The reason I advise it is that a counsellor will be able to help you sort through what you are feeling and why. It is not a disgrace in any way, no one is suggesting you are mentally ill. We go to see a doctor when something we don't understand happens to our bodies - in the just the same way, it is wise to seek help when something happens in our minds we don't understand.

    All we are saying is that since you are curious to find out why you do not feel these emotions it may be wise to seek the answer from someone who is trained to help.

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