Should I confront my boss or let it slide

Hello everyone. I am really really irritated and need some work advice.

First off, I am the only woman at my place of employment and I am the HR manager. I've worked here for a little over a year.

Here's the deal. I am NOT complaining about my job, I like my job, I like the people I work with, I like my boss. I don't even mind being the only woman(it's a small place, only five people)

I am good friends with my boss, who is the president of the company.

I know that it's usually not a good idea, but we are a tight knit group b/c there's only 5 of us, we're more like family than co-workers.

The problem is that lately my boss has been having a lot of trouble w/his gf and seems to be taking out his frustrations on me b/c I am a woman.

His attitude toward me has just been rude. He has not been rude to anyone else that's why I say it's b/c I'm a woman. And while it has not crossed the line into abuse, I still don't appreciate the attitude I get especially since I do my job well, work more hours than anyone, and am constantly saving his butt on projects. Should I say something politely to communicate how I have been feeling or just wait it out til his problems pass? I'm not sure what to do. Please help.

What specifically is he doing? We may be able to help you more if we know the specifics...

Ya - i agree with Annie.....is it something you can just let slide...or is it something you should put your foot down about....it all depends....

Well, here are couple things. I went to the bathroom the other day, and as I was getting back to work(we share an office) he said, "You look fine now get back to work" and the other day I had a phone message to give to another co-worker and he saw me chatting and said, "Stop being a gossipy woman get back to work". I have to turn the heat for the building higher when I come in in the morning, and when he came in after me, he said, "Turn that heat off! Why do women always have to have a room so hot?" Things like that. He never used to say things like that to me before the problems w/his gf started and I'm the only one he's being this way to. Am I overreacting? Or should I say something?

Well - if ur as close a group as you say you are - you can have an arsenal of friendly comebacks to hopefully lighten the situation. Something playful, fun, to lighten the mood....

This is making your working environment hostile...but it's not out of control....if you can just ignore it, then i say go for it - give it time because it will pass (if it's just caused by the girlfriend).

What can you handle? That's the question....

If you can chalk it up to him being unfair here - taking it out on you because you're a woman - but understand why...and the things he does/says aren't really horrible things in your eyes...then go for it. But do not let it bother you to the point where it makes things every hard for you -then you'll have to say something...in a more professional manner.

ick. I wouldn't show any upset at his comments. If he says something about the heat, I would say, "The heat is set at 68F, just as mandated by city building laws." As for the other comments, ug, I don't know. My old boss who was going through a divorce started saying stuff like that too. There were 8 of us, 4 men, 4 women. He would make comments like, "Too many women here! It's like a henhouse! Too many women together get catty" I would say simply, "John - the four of us get along just fine - you know that - we have never participated in any cattiness or anything of the sort. And, it's not too many women - it's 50-50." Well, soon after, I had to move, so I didn't have to deal with him anymore.

So, I don't know.... I think I would say something like, "I am not being gossipy - I am simply giving a phone message to a coworker."

I don't know... maybe the others have better suggestions....?

"Well - if ur as close a group as you say you are - you can have an *beep* of friendly comebacks to hopefully lighten the situation. Something playful, fun, to lighten the mood...."

yeah... that's good too. Like about "you look fine - get back to work comment," you could say something like, "Sorry - I had to go eat some chocolate, take some pills for my cramps, and take care of my mascara - I was just watching "The Bridges of Madison County" and I was crying."

Those are great suggestions, thank you everyone.

If anyone else has some thoughts, please post them

Thanks

Yorkrose

You could try saying in a joking but also semi-serious tone "That sounds like a sexist comment, pardner, better be careful, or I'll reach for my lawyer"

Whats his tone of voice like? Have you talked to any of your co-workers about his attitude? They must have noticed. If they are like family maybe you could talk to them.

I like Annie's comments about what to say to him next time he has a slight mood swing.

Although, just because he is going through a rough patch with his girlfriend doesn't mean he should take it out on you. Doesn't seem fair on you just because your a woman.

Miya

You could try saying in a joking but also semi-serious tone "That sounds like a sexist comment, pardner, better be careful, or I'll reach for my lawyer"

I agree with DN 100%. Those comments are sexist, but don't jeapordize anything, just bring them to light gently.