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Thread: I've Stuffed Up Once Again

  1. #1
    Member *cassandra*'s Avatar
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    I've Stuffed Up Once Again

    Ok. I met a guy online last year (we'll call him J) we were going to meet, but I wasn't ready. so I threw the friends card on the table and he backed off because I asked. We chat online like we are really good friends. Tonight he hit a sore spot. He said he " Wants me". Now I know that we've never met. And I asked him what he meant by that and he replied with
    " I want to see you"
    Could what he's saying be genuine or are there false feelings and false expectations from one another. If I hadn't met someone else whom I am going to meet next weekend. (Because J and I were meant to be just friends). I wouldn't give it a second thought and I would meet J. But now I have gotten myself into this situation, where I feel like I have to choose between one or the other.

    How do I get out of the mess I'm in?. I'm So Confused!

    They both seem like great guys but I just don't know what to do?

    I'm Stupid I Know. Any help, any advice please

  2. #2
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    online dating - from my experience - the over teh phone/net/pictures thing is still VERY different from in person. This other guy you're supposed to meet - is he another online date?

    Don't forget - this is 'dating' - it's not "who shoudl I marry?!?". There is nothign saying you have to commit to either of these guys...maybe you'll add a third or fourth guy to the list in the next week. It's only if things start to progress with one individual that you have to make any sort of BIG decision....right now - you haven't even met them yet.

    Deep breath - take it slow...try and enjoy 'dating'!

  3. #3
    Platinum Member Mun's Avatar
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    This is what I think: If you want to start "eliminating" or maybe the correct word would be " removing" people from the list then start meeting them in person soon after you begin chatting. Only in person can you know for sure if someone is a possibility or not. Once you meet you can usually tell if someone is a good prospect and keep on dating him and get to know him--or he is totally wrong for you--- and believe me you will find yourself talking less and less often to him until he is "removed." Sometimes you don't even have to wait that long, you or he will stop talking altogether after meeting in person.

    Now I really don't understand what you meant about the friends card, but never allow someone to pressure you online. You can always close the messenger, take them off your messenger list, block them and essentially "disappear" if you no longer want to talk to a person. That's what is easy about online--you can just close a window.

    I don't think at this point you should choose between either one. They are both just your friends and you should make that clear to each of them. Once you have met one you want to be with then you can let the other know you are dating someone exclusively. I don't think someone can truthfully know if they want someone else online, you got to meet in person to establish that--Until then it's just an illusion of the other person that you are attracted to. Like I said before.. until you meet in person, it's just entertainment.


    So have fun but stay safe.
    Love

  4. #4
    Member *cassandra*'s Avatar
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    I know we're not talking about marriage here. But I feel like I'm being forced to choose between which one I meet. One or the other not both. I know why not both?. Because I'm feeling the pressure from the first guy J.




    p.s. I know I am a drama queen but it can't be helped

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  6. #5
    Platinum Member Mun's Avatar
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    Let both of them come to meet you and then you can decide on something. You are probably hurting one because he is thinking ...why isn't she letting me meet her? I been her friend longer...don't you think?

  7. #6
    Member tanned_production's Avatar
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    I agree with the muneca.

    And online dating is very different from the real thing.

    Get to know both of them... If "J" is pressuring you, maybe meet him first, and hang out etc... but let him know that you're struggling with a decision, and you can't date him exclusively right now.

    Hope things work out!

    tanned_production <3


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