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Hi i have this problem where im always attracted to the bad guys, and i tend to end up being treated like dirt and getting hurt but then i like a bad lad cause i think there exciting and i just am attracted to them i cant help it!

Anyway i have met this bloke and he is really really shy, but very sweet which i am not at all used to.

I just cant seem to connect with him but i know he is a nice guy but i just dont feel attracted to him cause he hasnt got a bad lads edge to him.

i do like him but i just cant help but find him a lil weak and a bit perfectic, my image of a bloke is to be strong and confident. but dont get me wrong hes lovely and nice but i just cant help feeling like this, i know it sounds horrible.

Im just wondering if people think if i give him a chance then he might come out of his shell a bit and then i might find him a bit more exciting?? do you think iv just got to give him a chance?? xx x x x x

Give it a chance and worse case scenario you could find ways to make things more exciting. I have this problem as well so I understand. Give it time you may find him more interesting then you thought.

I never will understand women like you, always going for the bad guy type. Whats the matter with stability? anyways, it seems as though you are not satisfied with the bad boy type, as you said they seem to always treat you like dirt. Maybe you should try something different and see what you prefer.

Its pretty common for females around your age to only go for bad guys. There will be some women that like bad guys, it just happens to be what they are attracted to. Some girls at your age grow out of this while others continue to like bad guys. At this point you are still young and why not try something new instead of the bad guys see what happens with this guy.

Trust me, you'll get sick of being treated like dirt one day. Bad boys are bad. Sure, it's fun and exciting now, but one day, you'll want something more stable.

Don't "force" yourself to have feelings for this nice guy. Just be friends with him - get to know him. Maybe this isn't the nice guy for you. Good luck!

I think you are attracted to STRONG GUYS. Its pretty common. As you get older, you will find some of these nice guys will also develop a backbone. Then they will be more appealing to you. Its taken me awhile, but I'm finally at least at the point where I can tell women whats acceptable and unacceptable to me.

hi,

If you don't feel the thrill with this "gentle guy" it simply might be too much of hard work.

It is like dancing. If you try to dance salsa with a guy who doesn't know the moves or misses the confidence, you have to educate him and do all the work.

It can be too demanding. Trust your passion and follow your instinct. If you are looking for a strong confident guy, he doesn't need to be bad. There is lots of strong confident guys who have the edge and are caring as well.

I feel that what you must learn is to design clearer boundaries.

Even a bad guy can be educated.

You simply have to tell him, when he crosses the line.

Setting up clear limits is immensely empowering and there is always a way to get you message through.

Show him exactly how to respect your limits. It's essential you don't go with everything which is proposed to you.

You can be in touch with guys who wake up excitement in you and respect your limits as well.

Simply dare to express your power and they'll give you the space and respect you deserve.

I know it is a challenge, but if you learn this skill now, it's something you will remember for the rest of your life.

Trust yourself! Follow your passion and at the same time make sure that those you connect to respect every aspect of your being.

You are in charge of your life and you are the one who decides where you want to go. No one else has the right to do that for you

Take care and good luck

vitalcoach

Hey you know what I can definitely understand why you're not as attracted to this guy as you hoped to be. Ask yourself this question: what are you really looking for in a relationship? Do you even want a relationship? Or do you just want something else that is temporary? Be honest with yourself. As you have noticed, every time you go out with a "bad guy" (not the "nice guy with an edge" type) you get yourself hurt. Maybe this guy you're going out with really does have an "edge" to him. When did you two meet? You can't judge him so fast. Sometimes it takes a while for someone to warm up to you. I know it takes me a while before I start to show that "other side" of me. I just have to get to know the person enough before I do that. Make sense? I hope this may help. Give him another try if you're up for it.

I don't think this is so much your fault that you've had a history of being attracted to the "bad guys", becuase it's not their "jerk" attitude that causes you to like them. I think that the right "good guy" hasn't come along-unless it's the one you're talking about now. Keep looking and be sure to dump any guy who's not treating you right. If you do this, you'll find the right guy eventually.