Not sure where i fit with xwifes daughters...

I am divorced now for 5 months. My x has two daughters from a previous relationship. I maintain some contact with her daughters 18 and 14 years old. I send them cards gifts for bdays and holidays with no expectations.

These girls were part of my life for ten years and im not sure where i fit in this puzzle.

If i break contact with them would they understand? Would i be a creep if i did ?

Again i do what i do because i want to and not to get x baxk or anything manipulative like that.These girls have been on so many emotional roller coasters it is the last thin i want to do.

Any advice or similar experiences are appreciated..

Were you their dad for these 10 years or has their bio-dad been involved? If the bio-dad isn't really involved breaking contact would be really hard for them, especially the 14 year old. So keep doing what you're doing for their sake.

their bio dad is involved, but he is a shmuck. Well i cant say that, evryone does their best in life. Anyway it is hard. I do try to keep some contact with ex, i guess to help with my involvement with her daughters. I feel the same way u do so i guess i sat in contact for myself. Is that selfish??

I agree, keep up the contact. You cared for the girls and had a relationship with them separate from the one you had with your ex-wife. You were part of their life for a decade and as far as I'm concerned you deserve a chance to be an enriching part of their lives. I'm sure they will appreciate having a constant figure in their lives - especially when everything is changing so rapidly.

thanks RC, i believe you r right.

Jeta thank you as well.

Not sure how other guys would handle this, then again i dont care. I was told by ale friends of mine to let them all go.... sounds cold.. sounds cruel, sounds unnecessary...

I personally wouldn't be able to let such a huge part of my life go just like that...As you move on and meet new people you may not be as close to the girls and your ex, but they should still be priorites.

Correct me if I'm wrong, but while you were married, these girls lived with you...you may not have been their father biologically, but just being the fatherly figure in the household, helping with homework, driving them to practice...I'm sure these girls look up to you.

My two cents.

Unless staying in their lives would cause more problems for them than remaining in contact then you should. Absolutely. Depending on the circumstances you may have a legal right to visitation. Of course, you may already be liable to pay child support but if you are a father figure that is probably not a problem for you.