A Question for Everyone Who Has Met Someone Online.

This is just a question to everyone that has been or is in a relationship by meeting someone over the internet.

What have you told your friends and family about where you met them?

Did you tell them that you met online or that you met somewhere else?

I'm asking because I am meeting a guy next weekend and I don't want my parents to know how I met him. Especially if something should come from the meet.

This is just a question to everyone that has been or is in a relationship by meeting someone over the internet.

What have you told your friends and family about where you met them?

Did you tell them that you met online or that you met somewhere else?

 

I'm asking because I am meeting a guy next weekend and I don't want my parents to know how I met him. Especially if something should come from the meet.

"What have you told your friends and family about where you met them?"

Met online.

Why you dont want your parent to know how you met him?

does it make a difference - met at school or in internet? Most guys in school use internet so...

Internet.. its the 21st century

Why you dont want your parent to know how you met him?

It's not that I don't want them to know, It's that I know how they'll react. The last time I told my Dad that I had met a guy online. He said he thought he could trust me better than that. What he meant by that I'm not entirly sure. All I know is that when he said that he was hurt and angry and he sort of distanced him self from me. And I know that I am 21 and I shouldn't have to answer to him, but he has this idea that if you live under his roof you live by his rules. So I guess that's why I don't feel comfortable telling my parents. And I don't want it to wreck our relationship. So I'm not sure what to do.

I have become friends with someone via internet, and I understand why you don't want to come out with the truth...It does lend to some strange glances, considering that the Internet is still a fairly new way for people to meet. I wish I had a better answer for you, but I'll be watching your post to see what is said. I'm interested too.

You should atleast tell your friends about this meeting, or even have one of your friends come with you when you meet him. Its best to ask your friends if the meeting is appropriate, because your parents might not understand your situation. Good luck!!!

PS: I have meet two girls from the internet, and we have become quite close friends. When I first met up with the first one, my mom was paranoid. She asked me what I would do if the girl really turned out to be a guy...LOL. Now she is more accepting of meeting people online. It take time, talk, and mutual understanding. Good luck.

Here's what you have to understand, hun. Sure, a lot of people are gonna give you crap for it. But you just need to accept it as them not understanding. It scares them so they'll be skeptical. But if you end up meeting the person that you're meant to be with through the net, then how your friends and family react is THEIR problem, not yours. You're a big girl. You have the right to meet people in whatever way you feel comfortable with. Do NOT let the people around you dictate your life.

I met a guy online a year ago. We're engaged now, and my family loves him. I have lost a lot of friends over it, but I realized that if they are willing to turn their backs on me because of how I met someone... Then they don't love me and all they care about is how THEY do things. And I'd rather find that out and move on with my life than run away from everything I want because a bunch of selfish people might dislike it. Anyone who really cares about you might show some concern at first, but they will support you in the end. But be honest... If you're not honest with them, they'll think that they have a good reason to be skeptical.

Well, to be completely honest, I never told my parents the whole story - while it was true that we met online, we met in person at a convention in Chicago - since it turned out we would both be there at the same time, it made sense to meet up. I didn't go in with the intention of getting a boyfriend, just a friend.

I told my parents we met at the convention - which is true, just not the whole truth. To be honest, I think that's all they really need to know. Yea, perhaps it was a bit cowardly to not tell the whole truth, but I don't think it's really that important how we met. What's important is that we are happy and my parents like him lol.

Well if your parents like him, then where is the harm in telling them the whole truth? I'm not saying just blurt it out, but if someone asks how you met and your parents happen to be around, go ahead and tell the whole story. Let them hear it. Obviously they see that you're safe and happy, so they really can't complain too much!

Maybe it's just because I get on well with my parents and they know I haven't met any axe-murders online yet ;-) but I just say that I met them on the Internet. They've met quite a few of my online friends and get on really well with them all, so it's not a problem.

Just be honest. If you're worried, let them get to know the person first before you mention anything.

Ok Thank you to everybody. You've all given me some things to think about a desision to make. I appreciate it more than any of you could imagine.

Honestly, if you'd met the person in the shops or in a bar or anyway else, there is just as much chance they could be a psycho as someone on the net. Dont let other people's fears of stuff they dont quite understand influence your decisions.

I met my boyfriend online almost two years, at first we just talked online as friends and then last year we met up and have been dating since summer, my mum and dad always knew from the start that i talked with him and they seemed fine about me meeting him, they were abit apprehensivce but they really llike him , and he is coming to visit me and his parents are coming up to visit my mum and dad too,

at first when i told people about him and where i met him , they were ok , but a few people laughed, but to be honest its my life and i couldnt care what they think, its no different from meeting somone in a club

Like I said thanks again for the advice and opinions.

I met him and I still haven't told them. I told my best friend and she was excited and happy for me. Nothing else has happened between us, like I said in another post I'm not sure if I want it to. But if it does well I'm going to have to tell my parents sometime, but I'll cross that bridge when and if I come to it.

cassandra

Speaking as a parent.....I would hope that my child felt that he could tell me such things. Even though he is only 8 now, I am trying to instill in him to always be honest with me about everything...no matter what. Because if he doesn't feel he can trust me, then who is he going to turn to should he ever get into trouble? When I was growing up, I could tell my Dad things. He would sometimes communicate is disapproval, but he always let me know that I could come to him for anything. Now, I don't know your parents, and it might be hard for them to understand meeting someone online because that was not how dating was done in their time, but seriously consider being up front with them.

I met him and I still haven't told them.

We all know online dating is not much different from regular dating.

The thing if you know for sure your parents stereotypes are strong, (I can understand them - they have no idea what online dating is.. so they sure fear this unknown thing) then it would not do any good to them to tell them what you want to tell them. You just clash their stereotype with the reality.

I guess what you can do is to try to tell them .. slowly.

Don't go "I met him online". Start with something they can accept easily "Yes I met him, he is cool".. Where? State the actual place where you actually met offline, say Coffee Shop A - so they won't worry about you.

Next week tell them "but we knew each other a bit before we met"...

If they don't ask, don't tell anythynig more.

Next week, say "as you know we knew each other a little before"...

"we talked on the phone before we met"....

Next week (or day, whatevere) you may say "before talking on teh phone we get to know each other using computers (don't say online dating, chat, internet).

Next week you can say "we use computer cimmunication, like in internet, so we chatted a bit before talking on teh phone"...

Ok, you got the idea?

Just go slowly!

al7 has some really good suggestions on how to handle telling your parents.

al7 has some really good suggestions on how to handle telling your parents.

Just want to make sure: are you speaking as a parent? or as somebody who date online and need to present this to parents?

al7 wrote:

Just want to make sure: are you speaking as a parent? or as somebody who date online and need to present this to parents?

I am speaking as a parent. LOL

And I have already told my parents about "my experience" with meeting someone online. LOL

I underatand where you are both coming from. But I have never ever had a relationship where I have been able to talk to my parents. My family really doesn't communicate well. And there doesn't seem to be any trust between us. I know that this may seem like I'm making the trust issues worse, but things will never change between my family and I. It's just the way we are. But like I said I'll see what happens first. I know that's deceiving them but what they don't know won't hurt.

But I have never ever had a relationship where I have been able to talk to my parents.

cassandra,

if you would like to keep them happy press 1

1. Do not tell them anything.

if you would like to keep tell them and keep them relatively happy press 2

2. Tell them but tell SLOWLY (as I said in the previosu message)

if you would like to have unpredictable result press 3

3. tell them right away.

Cassandra, hun... I have been dating consistantly since I was 14. I NEVER, EVER let my parents in. I never wanted to tell them about my boyfriends because I knew they'd pry, or disagree, or constantly disrupt my life.

My fiance is only the second guy I've dated that I've really let my parents get to know. And while they were a tad apprehensive about how we met, they also understand that we're both adults AND they were just happy that I was finally letting them in.

You never know how they'll react. but if you're just honest with them, then they can never throw any of it back in your face. The more you try to cover up, the more likely it is that your secrets will come back to bite you.