Meeting someone from the internet in person

If you've ever met someone in person that you'd been talking to on the internet, how did it go? What happened, and how did it end? Thanks. (I am NOT wanting to hear about how it is unsafe etc.)

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I've actually met a few people from online. HOWEVER i've known them online for a great deal of time before meeting them irl, and when I did go to meet them, I had friends with me.

My bf of nearly 6 years...he's one of my internet meet ups ahah!

Obviously it worked out ok for us!

But be careful! The internet is 'sicko heaven.'

shawna

But be careful! The internet is 'sicko heaven.'

 

shawna

Not the wonderful people on here, of course!! 8)

Chatted with a guy for about a month online, went on a date at the end of September 01, got married July 02, and have been ridiculously happy since then.

I'm last person in the world who'd caution anyone against meeting people online. Just be careful and don't take any truly stupid risks. As long as you exercise a prudent amount of caution, it's no more or less risky than meeting any other way.

I"ve met a lot of people through the internet.. and for most I'll meet once and never again. 99% of all my first meetings have been pleasant experiences.

The coffee date is a big cliche nowadays, but I can't think of a date situation more custom-built for first Internet hook-ups: casual, almost zero planning involved and allows you to exit easily if things start going bad.

I like to joke that the Internet gives us better, faster access to meeting the wrong people. Overall, if you use your common-sense, you shouldn't have trouble avoiding harmful people.

I've met several girls via the internet over the past year or so. I've met several in person to mixed results: one decided to stand me up and never communicated with me again, the several other just led to unintersting dates, lack of chemistry/compatibility, and one actually led to a short relationship. I don't think there's anythign wrong with meeting someone via the internet (I just recently met a girl who seems like something special), but bnefore you meet you should of course take some precautions: first off, in addition to online conversation. I'd recommend a phone conversation or two, as its kind of the next step up from talking online, and a better indicator of how you can handle a conversation with each other. Even though you don't want to hear it, there are a lot of creeps out there, so on that note you should try to have your meeting in public somewhered, like meet up at a park, or the mall, or a fairly busy restauran/cafe, just to be on the safe side. I'd assume this applies more to women then men, as in general creeps and predators tend to be male, but its good to be cautious either way. Other than that, its no different than any other first date situation.

Thats just my perspective, I hope its helpful.

mtastic

My fiance and I met online. After five months of chatting online and talking on the phone, we met. I flew cross country to where he lives, and we spent three weeks together. We had a great time, and I felt like we'd known each other our whole lives. We're getting married next summer, so obviously not everyone online is a sicko!

I have met a few people online.

Dated a couple of them, longest "so far" I was with for almost 1.5 years.

And, my live in boyfriend is someone that we met through an online site, though it turns out we have some mutual friends in common and were at some of the same racing events. And, we are absolutely head over heels for one another and I knew (as did he) very early on that what we have is just very very right. We are awesome together on so many levels. And we will be together a long, long, long time

My advice, just go into it for fun. Write a very good profile (be clear, creative, honest, fun). Use up to date pictures, be open to meeting people earlier rather than later (my opinion is you might as well find out if you are going to click in real life). I met all those I dated seriously within days. Chat a few times before meeting though, meet in a public place. Don't place your expectations too high...approach it with a fun attitude as you will need it...its full of its own customs, rejections, positive dates that never go anywhere, bad dates that you laugh at later. There are players too, but just as in real life. Just be careful, but be yourself and have fun with it. Don't get sucked into the "maybe I can find someone even BETTER trap"..some people use it for serial dating and conquests...there can be a lot of shallowness.

Good luck

met a girl on the interweb, we met up.. and err thats it, lol

meeting up again tomorrow tho cant wait to see her, she is truly amazing

I met my boyfriend of 2 months over the internet...

I brought my friend along, and we went swimming.

It was just casual

But it turned out well.

Make sure you know the person before you meet them!!

I've met a good share of girls from online in person.. Of those I've met, there's only been one I had something special with - the only one I could say that, even though we had our differences and it didn't work out, she had an impact on my life. The rest of them were either immature, had too many problems, or weren't my type.

Like I've said before on this forum, it's very easy to meet someone online, talk to them for a while, and start building a false image in your mind of who that person really is and what they're like. So I think it's best to meet that person as soon as possible in person - in less than a week, if possible.

Chatted with a guy for about a month online, went on a date at the end of September 01, got married July 02, and have been ridiculously happy since then.

 

I'm last person in the world who'd caution anyone against meeting people online. Just be careful and don't take any truly stupid risks. As long as you exercise a prudent amount of caution, it's no more or less risky than meeting any other way.

Did you talk to him on the phone first? Would you meet him wihtout a phone talk first?

Did you talk to him on the phone first? Would you meet him wihtout a phone talk first?

I did talk to him first. I wouldn't say I have it as a hard and fast rule to speak on the phone before meeting. It's just easier to set up plans, give directions, and negotiate a meeting place on the phone.

While you can't assume everyone you encounter is ok, you do have to trust your own best judgement. If things aren't adding up with someone you're chatting with online (i.e. you catch them in small lies about stuff, they're not willing to give you a phone number or personal info, they're not willing to meet in a public place) then a phone call won't change any of that and you should probably pass on an in person meeting.

Did you talk to him on the phone first? Would you meet him wihtout a phone talk first?

 

I did talk to him first. I wouldn't say I have it as a hard and fast rule to speak on the phone before meeting. It's just easier to set up plans, give directions, and negotiate a meeting place on the phone.

 

While you can't assume everyone you encounter is ok, you do have to trust your own best judgement. If things aren't adding up with someone you're chatting with online (i.e. you catch them in small lies about stuff, they're not willing to give you a phone number or personal info, they're not willing to meet in a public place) then a phone call won't change any of that and you should probably pass on an in person meeting.

Oh, great idea, I didnt think about it before...Sounds good!

So basically I can just talk on the phone to.. set up a date (ie directions etc etc)? Is it enough to feel I am safe to go on a date with?

Is it enough to feel I am safe to go on a date with?

You know you're ok, and that's a start...but the other person has to feel that you are safe to meet, and you have to feel that they are safe to meet.

Really, I think the most important part is to make sure that first meeting is in a well-populated, public place. The next important thing is to pay attention to your gut feelings...if something feels "wrong" don't go any futher.

I've met lots of people through newspaper personals, then online personals (ok, I'm 40, I didn't get married til I was 38...I was single & dating longer than some of you guys have been alive), and the vast majority of them fell into the category of "men who I would not have otherwise met." Nice enough, but no chemistry, no sparks. There were some where a phone conversation was so awkward I just didn't bother going any further. There was one who really creeped me out in person, but since we were in a public place, I was able to make an exit after a half hour and asked a mall security guard to walk me to my car. There were a few I dated for brief periods of time. But only one that I hit it off so well with that I married him.

I don't think my experiences were out of the ordinary. Most people we meet in these once-removed sorts of ways (personal ads -- online or offline -- and online chatting) aren't going to become big romances or necessarily even friends. Like finding a job, finding a compatible person is a bit of a numbers game...the more people you get out and meet, the more likely you are to run accross a compatible one eventually.

Is it enough to feel I am safe to go on a date with?

 

You know you're ok, and that's a start...but the other person has to feel that you are safe to meet, and you have to feel that they are safe to meet.

 

Really, I think the most important part is to make sure that first meeting is in a well-populated, public place. The next important thing is to pay attention to your gut feelings...if something feels "wrong" don't go any futher.

 

I've met lots of people through newspaper personals, then online personals (ok, I'm 40, I didn't get married til I was 38...I was single & dating longer than some of you guys have been alive), and the vast majority of them fell into the category of "men who I would not have otherwise met." Nice enough, but no chemistry, no sparks. There were some where a phone conversation was so awkward I just didn't bother going any further. There was one who really creeped me out in person, but since we were in a public place, I was able to make an exit after a half hour and asked a mall security guard to walk me to my car. There were a few I dated for brief periods of time. But only one that I hit it off so well with that I married him.

 

I don't think my experiences were out of the ordinary. Most people we meet in these once-removed sorts of ways (personal ads -- online or offline -- and online chatting) aren't going to become big romances or necessarily even friends. Like finding a job, finding a compatible person is a bit of a numbers game...the more people you get out and meet, the more likely you are to run accross a compatible one eventually.

I suggest to meet at a mall, and there are plenty of coffee shops as well.

Since I am aguy, I dont really care how safe she is sound: female stalker do not exist... anymore

I do sound bad on the phone plus cell phone quality doesnt make it better. Plus I have an accent. Plus I dont see her emotions which is not helping on convo iether.

So I jsut wonder: is the first phone talk aviodable?

Just a quick talk about directions does not count - it is fine with me. But I would rather talk more on the actual date, than on the phone.

How can I make her feel safe enough? What would help? more info about me? My resume.. phone numbers etc?

So I see that many people have met people through the internet. I'm wondering, have all these people been local? What about someone in another state? Do you really think it makes any difference?

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I suggest to meet at a mall, and there are plenty of coffee shops as well.

Since I am aguy, I dont really care how safe she is sound: female stalker do not exist... anymore

 

Don't be so sure about that. While guys are probably in less physical danger from a female date, some girls can get very obsessive and become a pain in the butt. Some people are just flat out nuts and you'd be better off to avoid those.

 

I do sound bad on the phone plus cell phone quality doesnt make it better. Plus I have an accent. Plus I dont see her emotions which is not helping on convo iether.

So I jsut wonder: is the first phone talk aviodable?

Just a quick talk about directions does not count - it is fine with me. But I would rather talk more on the actual date, than on the phone.

 

Not everyone likes to talk on the phone. Be honest about it. If you've been chatting online, mentioning where you're from is a natural topic of conversation...when that comes up, you can mention you speak with an accent. When you do make the phone call for directions and arranging meeting details, try to do it from a land line -- can you use a phone at work or a friend's house? If you can call from work, this also gives you a built-in way to keep the conversation short.

 

How can I make her feel safe enough? What would help? more info about me? My resume.. phone numbers etc?

 

My opinion is the more info the better, but you can't dump it on her all at once, cause that looks a little odd, too. There are a lot of ways to sort of work that info in naturally. F'rinstance, when asked where you work, be specific...instead of "I work at a record store" say "I work at On Cue in the mall" or whatever. You can also offer the information instead of just throwing it at her and let her decide..."would you like to see a copy of my resume?" If she says no, drop it and move on. If she seems reluctant to meet, you can suggest that she bring a friend with her.

 

When I was meeting people through personals, I think I had a good balance of caution and adventurousness. Some people are going to lean more toward caution, and some are going to engage in riskier behavior. That's a decision they make for themselves, and you shouldn't take it personally.

 

Above all, I think the best thing you can do is be honest. I met a lot of guys this way, and I got real good at spotting (and avoiding) BS. Even if there wasn't any chemistry, I respected the guys who were honest about themselves and what they wanted much more than the ones who played mind games.

So I see that many people have met people through the internet. I'm wondering, have all these people been local? What about someone in another state? Do you really think it makes any difference?

 

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Unless you would be happy in a long distance relationship (it works for some people), I'd concentrate for looking for potential relationships within a reasonable driving distance. A situation where one of you is willing to (and actually does) move in a reasonable amount of time can also be workable.

When I met my husband he was about a 2 hour drive away. He did most of the commuting when we'd go out, and ended up moving to where I was 3 months later. The relationship was important enough to him to uproot his entire life and start over...in terms of finding a job and so forth.

Friendships are easy to maintain over long distances, but romantic relationships need more f2f time....at least for me.

3. My opinion is the more info the better, but you can't dump it on her all at once, cause that looks a little odd, too. There are a lot of ways to sort of work that info in naturally. F'rinstance, when asked where you work, be specific...instead of "I work at a record store" say "I work at On Cue in the mall" or whatever. You can also offer the information instead of just throwing it at her and let her decide..."would you like to see a copy of my resume?" If she says no, drop it and move on. If she seems reluctant to meet, you can suggest that she bring a friend with her.

4. Above all, I think the best thing you can do is be honest. I met a lot of guys this way, and I got real good at spotting (and avoiding) BS. Even if there wasn't any chemistry, I respected the guys who were honest about themselves and what they wanted much more than the ones who played mind games.

1. I am not a celebrity so female stalkers are just ficntion for me.

You see, I dont have much to offer in materialistic sense or prestige so no one is gonna stalk me. It is extremely unlikely - I am willing to give a woman any info she wants.. why not? All my experience with online dating says that women are VERY caustious about even talking to guys.

2. Oh I always says I have an accent, and always speak from landline phone. But... seems always she speaks on a cell phone (no one is using landphone anymore), and no matter what I say about my accent, still it surprises people, and make phone convo very tough. I didnt notice anyon has problems talking to me on a date though. Thats why I dont want to speak on the phone, maybe except short talk: directions, time etc

3. Ok, resume. A good idea. I can just send her a link to my webpage where she "accidentally" find my full resume. Sounds good?

A friend on a date?? Thats somethign new... and honestly that sounds a bit crazy: that woman might have been a victim of a serious stalker. I honestly dont want to deal with neither a victim nor her "fear of stakers" baggage... Thats too much I guess.

I recall one lady I was talking to wanted to bring a friend on a date, and she spend half an hour on teh phone telling me how she is afraid os stalkers...I dont think I have to continue to talk to her. Right?

4. Just curious: what are you referring to as "mind games"? of him being a player.. which means he is looking for sex only?

1. I am not a celebrity so female stalkers are just ficntion for me.

You see, I dont have much to offer in materialistic sense or prestige so no one is gonna stalk me. It is extremely unlikely - I am willing to give a woman any info she wants.. why not? All my experience with online dating says that women are VERY caustious about even talking to guys.

Doesn't hurt to be cautious even if you are male. I've had some guy friends meet psycho chicks who wouldn't take a hint.

2. Oh I always says I have an accent, and always speak from landline phone. But... seems always she speaks on a cell phone (no one is using landphone anymore), and no matter what I say about my accent, still it surprises people, and make phone convo very tough. I didnt notice anyon has problems talking to me on a date though. Thats why I dont want to speak on the phone, maybe except short talk: directions, time etc

My bad...I assumed you were the one using a cell phone. Personally, I think cell phones are totally unnecessary for most people. I realize I'm in the minority on this and there's no convincing people who've bought into the idea they HAVE TO have one. Maybe suggest she call you back when she's in a better reception area?

Where are you originally from, anyway? If your accent is getting in the way of communicating in a predominantly English-speaking area, you might want to check into a speech or vocal coach.

3. Ok, resume. A good idea. I can just send her a link to my webpage where she "accidentally" find my full resume. Sounds good?

A friend on a date?? Thats somethign new... and honestly that sounds a bit crazy: that woman might have been a victim of a serious stalker. I honestly dont want to deal with neither a victim nor her "fear of stakers" baggage... Thats too much I guess.

I recall one lady I was talking to wanted to bring a friend on a date, and she spend half an hour on teh phone telling me how she is afraid os stalkers...I dont think I have to continue to talk to her. Right?

If you have a personal homepage or profile online somewhere, you could always just give her the link to that after you've been chatting for a while. That's actually a pretty good idea...you could put up pics, a little bit about you and your hobbies/interests and such....and she could look at it at her leisure.

I never looked at a first meeting as a date. It's a meeting. Unless things go really, really well, I also never expected it to last more than an hour. If she wants to meet you, but is nervous, she may feel more at ease if you suggest she can bring a friend along. The friend doesn't have to hang around while you have coffee or whatever, but the idea that someone she knows is nearby can help put slightly nervous people at ease. By suggesting this, it shows you are concerned with her comfort level, which is something a good host would do.

4. Just curious: what are you referring to as "mind games"? of him being a player.. which means he is looking for sex only?

I don't have a problem with people who are only out looking for sex -- if they are honest and open about it. The guys I had/have a problem with are the ones who PRETEND they're looking for a relationship just so they can get a girl to have sex with them. It happened to me a time or two when I was single, and I've seen it happen to nearly all of my girlfriends at some point, too. That's when the mind games start -- making women think there are emotions involved and there may be a relationship there when in reality the guy just wants to get laid. I have so much more respect for a guy who would just flat out say he found me attractive, didn't want a relationship, but would like to have sex. I might say no anyway, but that person is now free to find someone else who might say yes and they haven't lied to or misled me. Even if I would say no, it would be in a polite way, since he had the decency to be straight with me...I'd return the courtesy.

Does that make sense? I don't know if other women would agree with that, but it's always the way I've always approached it. Well, when I was single...if someone shows any interest nowadays they get told I'm very happily married rather quickly.

So I see that many people have met people through the internet. I'm wondering, have all these people been local? What about someone in another state? Do you really think it makes any difference?

 

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The guy I met online lives 2,850 miles away.

Ive got friends online that are literally on the other side of the world...as in 12 hours behind me.

Hehehe! *raises hand* That would be me!

I had been talking to 3 people regularly for 14 months and we all just met and lived together for 4 days.

I felt genuine affection for the guys and we spoke via phone so the final 'big meet' seemed so adventurous.

We felt liked we known each other for ages, it was great to cook with them, go shopping etc. Simple things. They were quite different in many ways, more quiet, less opinionated. I feel the internet gives us a 'louder' voice with no face.

However, the online relationship is now different and I feel the affection less. One girl though will be a life long friend of mine and I felt genuine 'love' for her as a sister. She and I hit it off so well. In hindsight we'd never once argued online, and our philosophies were alike too, whereas the other two I had argued with at times, or felt a little unhappy. I feel your online relationship has those cues to whether you'll get on IRL you just ignore them sometimes.