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Thread: New update and confessions of foolishness

  1. #11
    Member GettingOverIt's Avatar
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    11flower,
    Yeah, blocking his address is a good idea! Too bad your program doesn't have some kind of auto-response thing... That would be funny! ;-)

    Things tend to be a little more difficult when you frequent the same boards/newsgroups/forums as an 'ex' or even someone you just end up crossways with.... Hopefully, the 'public' bickering will subside in time, and the both of you will be able to feel free to answer openly without feeling like you're being attacked...

    I know you may not always get responses to your posts, but know that there are some of us one here who do read them... Personally, I enjoy your escapades, how you handle them, and your wit! So, please keep us informed... Besides, we do like to know how you're doing....

  2. #12
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    Thanks so much, Gettingoverit,

    It really helps to know someone at least is reading the posts and thanks for the friendly encouragement.

    I think things will eventually settle I hope, peacefully.

    No need to carry on with what takes precious time away. And time is all we got.

    thanks,

    11flower

  3. #13
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    Hokay,

    So...tell me I'm crazy. Thanks, I needed that. . No, I didn't.

    Here's the scooop! Scoop of what? Not ice cream...I tell ya'. I was accused today of lying about everthing that happened, about "withholding vital information." Wooah. I thought I'd confessed everything. But the guy, I guess I should name the poor chap, ummmm....Fred. Fred decided that I lied about everything here on this forum, withheld "vital information" ( I guess that means that I didn't tell all of how I participated), and impersonated someone. Well, I did impersonate. I didn't lie about that on this forum. I thought I'd expressed as much as necessary. It was not a lie, friends. My husband does know all this. All of the above he said I'd done "could have ruined his relationship with his girlfriend." And that would be on my head, he said. Hm. No, I don't think so. It would be on his.

    I don't however believe that I withheld vital information. So, I told him I'd make good here. I told this group everything I think in the way I participated during the impersonation. I know how bad it is to impersonate. It's downright stupid and unfair. But if there's something I made him out to be that he isn't, I'll make good for it. I was as much a fool as this foo.

    But he still refuses to take responsibility of sorts for some actions on his part. I won't recap these. He still wants to try to cover his ways.

    Believe it or not, this is sad for me. Somehow, I do care about this dude's wellfare. He's still with his girlfriend and sounds happy. Why shouldn't he be? But if he lies to her about what and who he is, is that my fault? No.

    I told him that his actions are on his head, and that mine are on mine! I told him that the past is the past, and in other words that to his girlfriend it no longer matters. It shouldn't matter! Now doesn't that sound like a second chance of sorts?

    I hate being accused of lying, as I just don't do this sort of thing. I'd have to change alot to out and out slander or lie or say someone said things they didn't. I can't stand that sort of thing. Those who know me well would be able to attest to this.

    I also have emails with his responses in them to prove his responses.
    It sounds he's still reading this forum. I reassured him no one knows his or his gf real name. What's the deal? Why's he so scared...it sounds that way anyway.

    See the attempt to escape responsiblity for actions on his part? It's sadder to me that he wouldn't just say, "Yep, it happened like that; it was a mistake. I'm no longer doing this sort of thing. Let past be past. I'm happy in the present relationship and never want anything to threaten the present relationship." Etc. I encouraged him even to do this! I told him to do all he can to keep the relationship with present gf and why not? But you see what I'm dealing with here?


    I care about all people even when they're as JACKED UP as this guy. I can't help it. Maybe I'm a fool. But I want him and gf as happy and healthy as can be. So, you see, being a doofus has its good side.
    LOL!

    So and so, if you're reading this, I tell YOU, stop lying. Be honest about your mistakes. Get over yourself.
    Do nothing to threaten your girl and you. You can change! You're not a half bad person when you want to be. Just admit your mistakes and know you must mean more to someone in this world than you know. You don't have to worry any more. No one's gonna take that away from you. But you can threaten all what good you have and lose it. I don't want this for you. You have to want this for yourself whatever it takes...and what it takes should be done honestly. If not, you will lose it. And that will be on no one's but your head, dude.

    11flower

  4. #14
    Member GettingOverIt's Avatar
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    11flower,
    Been a while since I've been on here, and WOW, look what I've been missing! ;-)

    You're not crazy, but I have a feeling you're heading that way if you keep catering to this yahoo's whims and wishes and feelings... (I did not mean you would go literally crazy, and I mean no offense to any other yahoos.. lol)

    You really need to go NC with this guy... Block his address from reaching you at all. If he is reading this forum, then maybe he'll see at least one guy's opinion on the whole mess.... This guy has quite some control over you, even now... Break it off. You have whatever 'proof' you need, so go NC on him. If he is sending you PM's, then just delete them when they come in. Do not read them. If he sending you email to another address, then set up your program to block his address... Or, create a rule (I will be happy to help you with this) to automatically delete mail from him as it comes in....

    You need to move on and let this guy quit having this power over you... You know what? Who gives a flying rip's rear what he thinks of you or the whole situation?? You will always have your version, and he will always have his... You see, 'truth' is always in the eye of the beholder - perception is reality and all...

    You have learned from your mistakes and your experiences.... I know you are concerned for his well-being and that of his gf, but honestly, that is not your beef... not your issue... Break these chains that have you imprisoned by this guy...

    I am really starting to worry about ya, kiddo...

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  6. #15
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    Thanks GettingOverIt,

    No, I don't think he has that much control like your putting it, or as it may sound he does. Okay, I agree with the NC and that's not really a problem with me his being a sleezbag of sorts.

    It's just that I hate being accused of lying and needed a place to vent.
    It's just that the other day, unsuspecting that there would be illwill being that he sounds benevolent in general, I wrote him a professional question, and he beneficently answered it (he's a musical instructor and I'm a musician and student as well). I thought there was nothing more to be concerned about the recent past. How was I to know? I really didn't; and thought I wouldn't get a response like this. I don't meet too many people who really want to hurt people, as most people are pretty good, even if hornory, you know? And I am looking to reconcile bad things between any person at all and me if I can.

    It was a mistake; he's trying to throw it back at me, writing back accusing me of lying, trying to cover his tracks and wanting me to take the blame for some trouble my posts on this forum caused him and his girlfriend, as if he hadn't lied, but that I'm trying to slander. All I"m trying to do in my life right now is lay all cards on the table. I hate someone setting me up like this in ANY case to take blame I am not responsible for. This forum has helped me a lot and I again need a place to vent and why not? Can't help if anyone's reading it or not.

    It was a mistake to ask him the question. It's reconfirmed that there are some poisonous snakes associated with anything to do with him and they come out--this is how it makes me feel anyway. Yet, I don't know that I may get another email eventually trying to do the very thing you're talking about--attempts at control and accusation to shift blame.

    He really doesn't have that much control and I told him that if he tries to do anything legally that I will come up with the bucks and legal councel to defend myself as ferociously and brutally as I have to. And I will and can easily most definitely do this. I hate being accused of anything that is just not true, and I'm not lying and wouldn't about anyone and haven't withheld vital information as alleged. I mean, read my posts!

    I don't think you have to worry, really. It's just I don't get people acting like this. Again, I just don't meet many people who do this sort of thing.
    NC it is, GettingOverIt. Thank you for your concern.

    11Flower

  7. #16
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    11flower,

    I have been through the exact same thing as you (not the threats, but the situation). I too believe the person I met has a narcissistic personality disorder, just as you had thought about the one you met.

    It is very hard to come to terms with someone who lies to you after they tell you such wonderful things and you feel like you are on cloud nine because you are 'in love'. I too told my husband all that went on and he has stood by me.

    All I can tell you is what I have told myself: my feelings were real, but they were based on lies and manipulations. I learned a lot about myself by having an 'other me' to find out the 'truth' which while it hurt was what I needed to hear. Lastly, I am a good person, a good friend and if he wasn't appreciative and took all that I did for granted then he is the loser because when he eventually realizes what he lost it will be too late. What goes around, comes around.

    There are people out there who are only interested in themselves just like the two we met. Believe me, we are both not missing a thing!!

    LI chick

  8. #17
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    LIChick,

    You have no idea how much you have helped me by sharing what you have. Thank you so much--sometimes that's what helps make the difference and helps.

    It's hard when dealing with someone who doesn't want to admit his lies because of fear of losing. I don't care what happened in the past. I will not lie. I never did lie, and am not now, as I'm accused of according to the most recent information.

    You can't reconcile with someone who refuses the truth and tries to accuse you of being responsible of his/her loss. Sick world sometimes, isn't it?

    I wonder if it was the same guy, BTW ?? It almost sounds like it.

    Thanks so much again. I appreciate you having shared what you went through.

    11flower

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