What if one does not want a divorce

Im new here so dont be to harsh on me. I have been married for almost 3 years. My wife never worked. I bought her a new car every 6 months or so and everything to go with it. Im not rich but I work hard. I was opening a new business in August and leaving the company I worked for very soon after. I was stressed. I just bought her a new home and stress stress stress. Then she had an affair. I was home each night and was in most eyes perfect. She went to this guy for advice. He worked for her mom. Then he played on her and got her in bed. But she got him off of her and that is suppose to be the end. But she talked on her cell phone to him for hours. Then when I caught on she put it to an end face to face with him. I was there. Problem being I was in front of tons of kids and coundnt do much to him.

then for 3 months she tried to be perfect. I mean perfect. But I was a prick. I called her names and put her down real bad. I lived day for day and she felt like she didnt know if divorce was coming from day to day. then one day she had enough. She filled. The other guy has a girl frined living with him now and works with him so I dont think that is the deal. but she filled but her mother is paying for her side of it. Her mother told her infront of me that if she pays the money she is going through with it no matter what. Period.

she moved out 1 month ago. I tried real hard to get her back. Then we went to court for the temp hearing. I got my vette and truck and house and land and everything but her car. She is living with her parents again. She has very little money and calls all the time to complain about the money she doesnt have. She is working as a waitress for her mom. She now does with out and works 12 hours aday.

After our hearing this past tuesday she called and wanted to meet for dinner. We got along great but she tried to make me jealous. then she came over wednesday of this week and took a shower and then wanted sex. I gave in. but then she was mad for some reason the next morning. So I gave up. I didnt call or talke to her for 2 days. She then calls to ask about income tax forms. I told her I had to go since I was going out.

I know to not argue, not defend things to argue. I am dating a lady but with out sex. My choice. My wife thinks im dating but no proof.

Last thing. She talks about going on vacations, living together or dating after the divorce. Talks about things may be better after the divorce and a little time.

Sorry so long but I am so confused on this whole deal. I love her but.... Im ok now but I do love her. Please help if possible.

She wants the lifestyle without the life partner.

Don't have sex with her it could screw up your divorce settlement.

Divorce her as soon as you can and move on. Do not let her use you.

If you gave her everything she every wanted yet she repaid you by cheating on you then she herself has some huge issues to deal with. She is an adult and quite frankly if you want it to work and feel that it can without the name calling and whatever pay her mother for what she has put in call it even then the two of you can work it out.

Personally, if she cheated on you once because of something you were lacking or not giving to her, then odds are the next time things aren't going her way she will do the same thing. My bet is that she misses you realizing she has nothing now, and when she was with you had all that she wanted. She wants the lifestyle but doesn't want tied down to get it.

She is going to realize at some point, she is and was wrong for cheating, realize her errors and maybe want you back. How you play your cards determines where things go. Do not sleep with any one else until your divorce is final, if she gets proof you will lose a whole lot to her.

Be careful, and good luck.

I'm sorry, I'm someone who is a bit traditional. I think that a woman (or man) who has an affair that goes on a bit is just not a good partner. You need someone you can trust, who is a loyal person.

You should stop any relationship with her, certainly for legal reasons and the settlement, but also because of the mixed signals it sends to her and to yourself.

If you're no longer married, then move on. She has to be involved with the kids, but not with you. You deserve better.

Thanks for the advice.

We dont have kids together. But you are right in the fact that she is missing what she had and not who it was with.

It just seems very odd for a women to want a divorce even if it is others pushing her and then to call her soon to be ex and as for all kinds of things and want sex and all that from him. but as the Husband it is hard to say no to her.

Its like a big game to get our marriage on her terms and her way. but thanks for the advice and I do believe I will follow what you said.