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Thread: Why does my ex suddenly want to hang out with my friends?

  1. #1
    Join Date
    Oct 2003

    Why does my ex suddenly want to hang out with my friends?

    My ex broke up with me a little more than one year ago after we were together for almost 3 years. I took it very hard and did all I could to get back together but he insisted that he wanted to be single in college. About 5 months after we broke up I met someone and we started dating. I am still with him and I love him very much. We have a great relationship and I finally realized that everything happens for a reason. Well anyway, recently, out of nowhere it seems, my ex has been calling my best friends both at home and at college wanting to hang out. We haven't talked or seen each other since the break up except twice, which was just coincidental. He also supposedly has a girlfriend. Some of my friends agreed to hang out with him after he called them all many times. This did bother me and I felt a little betrayed by my friends. My friends told me that he asked why me and him couldn't hang out together. He also recently imed me and asked if we could be friends, which he said meant just hanging out from time to time. I honestly have no desire to be friends with him. Although I have moved on and am over him, he is my ex and he did hurt me. Also, I don't think that my boyfriend now would like em hanging out with my ex, which I understand and I do not want to mess up what we have. It just seems so bizarre to me that he is contacting all of my friends, especially since they were never close. They hung out with him when they saw me but that was it. It seems that he is determined to hang out with me, which I don't understand especially since last I heard he had a gf. Can anyone make sense of this? Also, is it wrong of me to be upset that my friends hung out with him? Any advice would be so helpful.

  2. #2
    Member Lisaann7898's Avatar
    Join Date
    Jan 2005
    Ft Worth, Texas
    I think he has been thinking about you alot and trying to figure out how to reconnect. I think your friends are harmless, but need to realize there are unspoken boundaries with a friend's ex, unless they were friends before you got with him.
    I think you should communicate your feelings to all parties with calmness and that what you choose to say is for the right reasons.

  3. #3
    Join Date
    Oct 2004
    this might sound weird and only make sense in my head but maybe he views ur friends as kinda a way gettin close to u withouth actually being with you. Cause lets face it, there are tons of people out there in the world does he really have to talk to YOUR friends. I wouldnt worry about ur friends, of course they should always ask if its alright with u if they hang would just be a ncie thing to do. And it doesnt seem like hes zoneing in on one friend, right? so no worries there

    id say if u dont wnat to be friends wiht him, tell him or just dont respond to him.....he should evenutally get the hint. Id say talk about it if all this contiues.

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