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Thread: My friend wants to die...

  1. #1
    Join Date
    Oct 2004

    My friend wants to die...

    I don't know what to do My friend Adam says hes been thinking of taking his life. He called my cell phone I didnt pick up he left a message saying to call him back (which i didnt not knowing why he wanted to talk)

    I talked to him online as he asked if i got his message I played dumb and said no my mom has my cell phone and all my phones were dead in the house (which was true)

    He told me he is thinking of ending his life and he wants to talk on the phone about it... i don't know what to do or to say I was once suicidal. And i didnt want anyone telling me they care about me or want me to live... I don't know what to say to someone who feels this way ... I'm not a very good talking on the phone either I get distracted no matter what it will sound like i'm not paying attention to the person on the phone which i bet hes going to think if i call him as he tells me his problems then i get distracted by humming or coughing (which i do when i'm nervous)

    I just really dont want to call him and make him want to die more but if i dont then he will think I'm blowing him off... I seriously don't know what to do.. please help me asap!!!

  2. 01-13-2005, 01:01 AM

  3. #2
    Join Date
    Jun 2004
    yes, i agree, no matter what, talk to him! even though you may not know exactly what to say, simply being there for you friend will mean the world to him. i've been suicidal myself too, and hearing from a familiar voice always helped me. just do what you can. don't worry too much, just be there for him. make sure he is aware how much he means to you and how you will be there for him always, no matter what. let him know that what he's feeling is temporary, and will not last forever. thereforeeee, such a permanent decision like suicide would be crazy and it's definitely not worth it. and DO NOT hesitate to call the police, or a hospital or 911. if you're out of the country, see this website link removed or tell his parents, your parents, a counselor, an adult you trust, a friend, SOMEONE. you're not alone and you can help your friend. don't doubt yourself. i know you can do this. we're all here to help you no matter what. and PLEASE see this has a lot of support info.

    link removed

    take care and good luck! you can do it!

  4. #3
    Join Date
    Dec 2004
    hi, guess it's not a very easy position to be in..

    on one hand Adam has shared the fact he intends to take his life and he's reaching out you to for the last lifeline..

    on the other hand, I sense your hesitation in taking up this huge task.. and not suprisingly, alot of us would feel kinda lost on how to more muck this up...

    I have a friend who was in the same situation and wanted to take his life and he called me the day he was going to do it just to say goodbye. There was no time to think, no time to say no, no time to say i-cant-make-it-for-coffee-today....

    have to agree with the rest that it is best to just talk to Adam if that's what he wants, if you're comfortable being in the situation and taking up that task of being "that" friend. If not on the phone. perhaps there maybe alternative avenues to connect with him which you are comfortable with.... i'm not sure what they are, but getting impression you are not comfortable talking to him on the phone, but still v much concerned for your friend.

    He (my formerly suicidal friend) told me the whole thing, after he took 6 months off and got pyschological help and therapy, that the one reason was just having someone there to keep him occupied enough from having the time to actually "execute" his plan.. he was planning to OD in a hotel room, he called me from the hotel, i sat with him at the hotel cafe/lobby for many many hours until i tot he was slightly more stable (as in can be left alone for 10 min), i ran to the washroom, called his parents and told them to take him home and to the hospital...

    it was a scary experienced and i had the benefit of knowing this friend very very well before he got ill (depressive) , so i could sense what was wrong... but it's not an easy thing to do and it still took 6 weeks of full-time therapy and counselling before he stabilised.

    I will say seek help if you're not sure what you need to do, guess your friend still have to time.

    on the other hand, please be careful, sometimes these things do need professional help and the suicidal depressive may not be who they were and they may not be able to control who they have become. Don't mean to frighten you, but just wanted to make sure you get the necessary and correct level of help to help Adam out of this.

    Above all, I think the idea is he needs to know, he's not alone..... and neither are you

    Good luck, my friend... and I think it's great that Adam has you as a friend who cares.

  5. #4
    Join Date
    Mar 2005
    UK (essex)
    This guy is really crying out for help, u need to sit down with him and just let him talk about everything, sometimes people only need someone to listen to what they have to say, when i feel down it dont do me any good keeping it all inside, he's obviosly really depressed, i wish u luck and i hope he can find the answer's he's looking for.

  6. #5
    Member PAdreamer's Avatar
    Join Date
    Jul 2004
    Don't tell him that people love him or care about him. I mean, he needs to know that. But don't use that as the main reason he shouldn't do it. He needs to live for HIMSELF, not everyone else. Encourage him in things that apply directly to him. Talk to him about the positive things in his life- things that he truly feels good about. Don't push him or beg. Don't give into the desperation of the situation. You have to keep him calm and grounded. You have to be the one to help him keep things in perspective.


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