Anatolia Posted February 18, 2010 Share Posted February 18, 2010 I felt kind of bad for not knowing what to say to a friend of mine who went through so many break ups and all but one was because they cheated on him. So any comforting words you have that I could pass on? He's at the point right now where he's constantly asking what he's doing wrong to keep having them cheat on him and he doesn't want to risk dating and can't bring himself to fully trust anyone in a relationship with him. Thanks! Link to comment
guynextdoor Posted February 18, 2010 Share Posted February 18, 2010 Have him join this forum. He'll thank you for it. ENA is comfort food for the heart. Link to comment
OptomisticGirl Posted February 18, 2010 Share Posted February 18, 2010 Sometimes it's not what you say, it's what you DON'T say. When my ex cheated on me the last time I had reconnected with my best friend and when I told her she just reached over and hugged me. Sometimes there are just no right words to say to a person. Some people just need to know you are there for them and that they have your shoulder at any time to cry on.... I asked those questions too but most of the time I just wanted somebody to listen, not really answer but listen to what was going on in my brain. Link to comment
Theblueman123 Posted February 18, 2010 Share Posted February 18, 2010 Just leave him alone lol Link to comment
unknownme Posted February 18, 2010 Share Posted February 18, 2010 Being there for your friend and letting him vent is more than enough help =) Link to comment
25thfloor Posted February 18, 2010 Share Posted February 18, 2010 I felt kind of bad for not knowing what to say to a friend of mine who went through so many break ups and all but one was because they cheated on him. So any comforting words you have that I could pass on? He's at the point right now where he's constantly asking what he's doing wrong to keep having them cheat on him and he doesn't want to risk dating and can't bring himself to fully trust anyone in a relationship with him. Thanks! we say this time and time again...one person not responsible for another person cheating....he's picking the wrong people to date. there are signs ... but you need a trained and educated eye as to they type of folks you pick. i can look back now and see that both cheaters i was with had the same M.O. Link to comment
sweeth tooth cadet Posted February 18, 2010 Share Posted February 18, 2010 the best thing someone has done for me was to just be there and ask if there was anything they could do. Sometimes its as simple as a hug or sometimes getting teh person out and distracted even if for an hour or two. Gestures like that are more priceless and needed than words sometimes. Just be there and go from there Link to comment
HeartGoesOn Posted February 18, 2010 Share Posted February 18, 2010 The kindest thing that you can do is to be there to listen. Yes, they will repeat themselves over and over again, but just remember that, that's a part of their healing process. Link to comment
Baily Posted February 22, 2010 Share Posted February 22, 2010 When I went through it the first time...the BEST advice I got was my buddy who had me look at it from a variety of sides. He supported me, but also told me to look at what I was doing that would cause my wife to look outside the marriage. He also didn't go into backlash....I fell away from those who wanted me to act out upon revenge. Most were wanting revenge and hate...and whatever they said I latched onto. To be there for your friend...listen to them...take them out and do things...stay away from alcohol...(tell them that absolutly under no circumstance are they to touch beer, wine or anything hard) ...the mind will send them into a crazy state.... ...don't go religious on them... tell them that the other person acted wrong...but there were other circumstances...what wasn't your friend providing for him/her. Let them know that this is a VERY VERY VERY LONG process. One year later they will still be dealing with this. It'll stay in your psych for years. be smart and you were smart in coming in here. Link to comment
Overfiend Posted March 7, 2013 Share Posted March 7, 2013 This is the worst idea I have ever heard. "what...providing for him/her"? Just what a person who has been cheated on needs to do - blame themselves. Holy crap... Link to comment
Lester Posted March 7, 2013 Share Posted March 7, 2013 Ditto, Guynextdoor. He needs more help than you can give him! PS, He keeps picking the wrong women for the wrong reasons. Link to comment
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