Indifferent mom

[BigDankFeels]

I want to start off by saying, this is gonna be a long post, so here's a TL;DR: Mom's not listening at all to my needs and always paints me as a talkative exaggerative person.

 

Ok so since I was a kid I dealt with depression and various problems, most of which are gonne now (inclunding the depression) and my mom was always very supportive, but one thing I noticed once I started using meds up until I left them was that she doesn't care to take matters on her own hands and always delegates all resposibility of my actions and feelings to doctors and meds!

I understand she is afraid of ing me up worse but c'mon, I've been better than ever in my life for the past year without any relapse both into drugs and depression and she just won't bother to notice any progress i've made all by myself, even my psychologist was amazed at how I gave my mental health a 180° turn without even going to the sessions. But she's just blind to me being capable of not acting as the she says I am.

 

Like 20 minutes before writing all of this she came home and started ranting about me waking her up at night making noises, to which I reminded her that I've been having a lot of trouble sleeping and I've been asking her to help me get some clonazepam like I used to take years ago when I has similar issues with sleep.

So she started ranting again about not liking the idea.

Long story short I ended up making her realize that for her to be able to sleep well I also need to sleep well, cuz it's practically impossible for me not to wake her up given the size if our apartment and her light sleep. but right after that I tried to explain to her that I'm also very irascible thanks to my ty sleep pattern.

And that I'm sorry if I overreact a little about things, also that my birthday is this weekend and my friends literally ignored me when I invited them to do something and others said yes but ended up canceling and that made me feel like and made me even more emotional.

 

to which her response was NOTHING, she just stared at her cellphone and said nothing. (which is a constant problem between us that has been addressed multiple times) and when I asked her to please listen to me the conversation went something like this:

 

Mom- I am, but what do you want me to say?

Me- Idk. but can you at least look at me when I talk to you?

Mom- There's no need, I'm listening to you-

Me- But that's not how normal people talk! if you are having a conversation you at least look at people or have a comment on the situation!

Mom- but I don't have anything to say, you are doing all the talk

Me- Even if you don't have anything to say it's rude to just plainly act as if you were ingnoring me even if you did listen.

Mom- You know what? I don't want to talk anymore, leave me alone.

 

so I did, and went looking to unwind somewhere cuz my friends are all too busy to even come to my birhtday.

 

She's always like this, running from conflict and ignoring what doesn't concern her directly, the only way I convinced her to buy me something that would help me sleep was after I showed her how my insomnia affected her. it is also that way with everything else.

I've tried raising my concerns every way possible and she just won't change at all. and she dares calling me an unaddaptive person.

 

there's just so much to tell but this is the shortest way I could write it without making a book.

[Wiseman2]

How old are you? Do you go to work or school? Yes you should be seeing doctors not using mom as a benzo dealer or trying to scam her into giving you addictive drugs..

always delegates all resposibility of my actions and feelings to doctors and meds!

 

I've been better than ever in my life for the past year without any relapse both into drugs and depression

I've been asking her to help me get some clonazepam like I used to take years ago when I has similar issues with sleep.