Name change?

[JA0371]

Hi guys.. I know this seems a little petty but it’s bothered me for a very long time so I thought I’d write a subject about it .

 

Since I was very young I have despised my name.. first and middle name.. and yes I know my mother gave it to me but I still don’t like it . I feel like my name doesn’t really suit me it’s very old-fashioned . I can probably live with my first name because everyone knows me by that name anyway but I was considering changing my middle name or even just dropping it altogether . To be honest I am estranged from my mother right now and I think it magnifies my feelings even more so because it bothers me.

 

Has anyone here ever changed their first or middle names? If so, why?

 

Thank you guys😁

[SarahLancaster]

You can change your name, of course, but how easy would it be to get everyone who knows you to adjust to it?

[Seraphim]

My name is 10 letters long with a hyphen and VERY 60’s. Nobody can say it or spell it so I shortened it about 30 years ago. At first my mom was insulted but now she’s totally used to it . And anybody who met me after 30 years ago and just accepts my name as I say it .

 

Legally changing a name of course can have possible issues .

 

I have considered changing my maiden name because I don’t want to belong to the cluster that I belong to but that could cause issues for my son if he ever ends a government document he needs my maiden name.

[Starlight925]

I say, do whatever you want. Change your name to Buttercup if you want. Seriously! It's your name, your identity. People will have to just get used to it!

 

People always get used to a married woman's new name, or a divorcing woman's name when she goes back. I've done it, and people do just learn it and it becomes just....no big deal.

 

Funny....I know 2 different middle-aged women that I've known since childhood, who both always went by their childhood nicknames, until they became adults and changed to their actual names. In both cases, the childhood nicknames were VERY childish.....think along the lines of "Boopy" or "Shnuggly". Yeah, like that. Anyway, coincidentally (they don't know each other), BOTH have gone back now, to the childhood nicknames, from their "normal" names, even though no one knows them by the nicknames. One is even an anchorwoman!

 

You do you. Everyone else will just deal.

[catfeeder]

How many people use your middle name?

 

I'd weigh the symbolic irritation against the degree of hassle involved plus the potential for errors in official documentation along with the rights to which you're entitled--such as voting records, social security, etc.

 

You can always introduce yourself by any 'nickname' you wish, and see how well that works. Then decide how important an official change must be to you.

[Andrina]

My husband started going by his middle name either in his early twenties. He just didn't like his first name, and knowing he had a bad childhood, I think he wanted to start anew, in a way.

 

My friend also has a daughter who to most people's standards had a beautiful first name. But the girl had been heavy and had weight loss surgery. Perhaps because of the transformation, she not only changed her first and middle name, but also her last name, probably because she didn't want a relationship with her father after his divorce from her mother.

 

Yes, it's an adjustment for people to start calling you something else, but so what? People deal with challenges in life all the time, and this one is minor in the scheme of things. I'd also change your first name since you hate it so much. Why settle for something when you don't have to?

[Andrina]

P.S. It's not so daunting to change your name on official documents if you just prioritize what you'll do in order. I had to do all that when I acquired my married name with my second husband. I just made appointments for one place per week until I'd completed the list.

[Carus]

I changed my name legally.

 

Why? New life. New name.

 

It’s easy enough to do but you then have to go about changing everything your name is attached to and you’ll be surprised how many things that is..!

 

Friends and family struggle a little to adjust but they eventually get there...

 

:)

[melancholy123]

I have hated my first name all my life. I am indifferent to my middle name. I always said I'd change my first name when I was 18 but I never did. My name gets twisted around too much, it's only 4 letters but people spell it wrong and cant remember it. It's an old English name. I was teased a lot as a kid because of it.

 

My husband said to me, when I was about 25, there's no need to change it now, it's too late! I stupidly went along with that for no good reason. He is not the kind to demand I do or not do anything and had I actually changed it, he probably would have tried to call me by my new name, but I didnt do it. I wish I had, I'd like to have a normal name people can remember. My kids have normal names because I have a weird name. I am very against people giving kids weird names, it's just cruel.

 

So, go ahead, change your name! It's not such a big deal to me now, but I do wish I'd done it a long time ago.

 

You can call yourself anything you want as long as it's not for fraudulent reasons.

[abitbroken]

A lot of people don't care for their middle names and it does't matter because no one calls them it, and they only use it on legal documents.

What about having new people call you a nickname of your choosing? I obviously don't know your name but let's say its Esmerelda and your family and colleagues call you Esme, well then for new people you meet fresh - not someone new at work - but let's say a new sports team or book group, introduce yourself as the new nickname. Say you want to be called AJ or Becky or Jen - then go by that. I think it will help you try it out before you do anything drastic. BTW

[milly007]

If you believe that changing your name will make you happier, I say go for it.

 

A former colleague’s wife changed her name ages ago to her childhood nickname. When my colleague first introduced me to her as Skippy (not the actual name, but it’s along the same lines as her actual name), I thought he was referring to her as Skippy as a form of pet name/term of endearment. But no, I learned quickly it was her actual name. I guess she enjoyed her childhood nickname so much, and more than her actual name, that she decided to change it.

 

I used to hate my first name, especially when I was younger, because it was different and practically unheard of. When I was 5, I asked my parents why they chose such a weird name, but now I’ve come to appreciate its uniqueness.

 

As a side note/some comic relief, for some reason LHGirl’s comment above about the name Buttercup made me think of the Friends episode when Phoebe legally changed her name to Princess Consuelos Banana Hammock. Gawd I luv that show. Sorry...silly rant over. ✌️

[abitbroken]

A lot of people don't care for their middle names and it does't matter because no one calls them it, and they only use it on legal documents.

What about having new people call you a nickname of your choosing? I obviously don't know your name but let's say its Esmerelda and your family and colleagues call you Esme, well then for new people you meet fresh - not someone new at work - but let's say a new sports team or book group, introduce yourself as the new nickname. Say you want to be called AJ or Becky or Jen - then go by that. I think it will help you try it out before you do anything drastic. BTW

 

that way you can decide if you TRULY like it before you change it

[Batya33]

One close friend changed her name to her foreign name when she married and also changed her last name. Another friend added a prefix to her name (like Maryjane instead of Jane) randomly and would answer to both - that was a little harder to adjust to. When I changed my last name to my married name some people still used my maiden name or hyphenated which I sometimes corrected. And my poor mother once sent me a check for my bday to my maiden name. It just takes time is all. I’d just be patient with people who get it wrong. It was kind of a pain for me to change anything because it was my last trimester and I was waddling in and out of government offices. Also my married name is so much more googlable than my maiden. I liked being more incognito! Go for it if you have the time to do it.

[Cherylyn]

If you'll live with your first name because everyone knows you by that name anyway as you say, I wouldn't change your middle name because no one identifies nor calls you by your middle name. A middle name is just there for important documents to make it official. However, you'll never use it everyday. It would be a hassle and expense to go through all that trouble just to change your middle name. Why bother?

[Wiseman2]

Unfortunately it would be a huge hassle but it won't fix the underlying problem. Therapy would help resolve that much better. Use a cute nickname and embrace who you are. Names don't change that.

my mother gave it to me but I still don’t like it.To be honest I am estranged from my mother right now and I think it magnifies my feelings even more so because it bothers me.

[abitbroken]

Unfortunately it would be a huge hassle but it won't fix the underlying problem. Therapy would help resolve that much better. Use a cute nickname and embrace who you are. Names don't change that.

 

Could not agree more