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what color is my dot on okcupid?


ut804

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lol I have always wondered what color my dot was on okcupid. you know, the dot that says how often you respond. It is either green (you respond to most), yellow (you reply selectivly), or red (you reply rarely/ very selectivily). I think my dot must be yellow or red, but I have no way of knowing unless someone views my profile and tells me. lol im sooo curious.

 

so... can someone who has okcupid send me a private message on here and I'll give you my username so you can tell me? lol I'd appreciate that

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and then I have another question.. does a person's dot color have any influence on whether or not you will message them? just wondering. Like if a person has a red or yellow dot, is that a good thing (like "oh this person is desirable and so i want to message them") or a bad thing ("oh I won't message them if they rarely respond"). hmm..

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  • 3 weeks later...

As a guy who has done online dating before, I'm not really offended if you don't respond. If I write you and you don't respond (and if I know that you read the message), I just take that to mean that you didn't think we were compatible. If you don't respond and don't read the message, I assume that you're busy talking to someone else or not looking.

 

Even if a handful of messages are sent back and forth and then you stop responding, that's not a huge issue either.

 

If you have a red dot, or it says that you don't reply often, that just tells me that you're selective in who you want to date. You know what you're looking for. For me, and for a lot of guys, that's appealing. Sure it sucks if I see your profile and think that we would be compatible and you don't respond, but there's not really any harm done.

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well its good to know there are some people who aren't that upset if their messages don't get responses. i always feel horrible to not respond, but then again i send out messages without getting responses. it just happens.

 

and about dot color... I get a little intimidated by men with red dots (though my dot is red LOL), and green dots make me feel like i have a better chance.. but then again he would respond to EVERYONE though. so i feel best approaching a guy with a yellow dot. am I weird for analyzing these things and caring about it? lol

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I won't say that it's not upsetting when you don't get a response. But it is what it is. Hard to get too upset over a non-response. My bigger pet peeve is if you talk for a little while, say a week or so, and then communication just stops. If you've talked for a bit, I think you deserve a little bit more than just a sudden communication stop.

 

I would say, at least for me, don't be afraid to contact anyone that's contacted you and you ignored. Say a guy contacts you, you don't think they're a good fit or you're talking to someone else, or for whatever reason you ignore him. But then a month later, you changed your mind, or want to try talking to that guy again. Don't be afraid to send him a message or a reply back. I'm the type of guy, I would send one message and if I got no response, I wouldn't keep harassing you. Doesn't mean I still wouldn't be interested in you, just that I respect your decision to ignore me.

 

As for the dot thing, you might take a different spin on it. If you contact a guy with a green dot and he doesn't respond, then there's a very good chance that he's just not interested in you. But a guy with a red dot, if he doesn't respond, don't take it too personally. He may be talking to someone else, may be busy. Kind of look at it as, "If green dot and no response, mark him off your list", "If red dot and no response, mark him as a maybe"

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I don't have much experience with online dating, but yes the dot does make a difference for me. It's usually the last thing I look at, but I figure it's just not worth my time to message someone when there is virtually no chance I will get a response. I think the green dot increases the odds when they are already stacked against me.

 

I don't get upset when my message gets no response, but I do like to maximize my chances.

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I'd be upset if I messaged a guy with a green dot and he didn't respond, because he responds to most people but not me? lol.

 

slashcomma, actually I wouldn't contact someone again if I ignored their originial message. because for me, I do get a little upset when someone ignores me or stops talking to me and then a month later out of nowhere they send me a message! I want to be priority, not a back-up #2 choice when it fails with all the other girls, you know? so I feel a little dumb to contact someone after I ignored them, I couldnt do that.

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