Please help - mom of 3 with two week old

[Mamato3girls]

Hi- I am a mom of 3 girls one was just born a little less than two weeks ago. My oldest is 6 from a prior relationship and my middle is 20 months. I have been with their father for a few years now... he sometimes gets in a very bad mood when he just treats everyone very nasty. Tells me nasty things and is just not a pleasure to be around. Other times he’s perfectly normal and fine. I have heard him mention he’s bipolar but not sure if this is really a medical diagnosis or just him saying it. It makes sense though. Yesterday and today he has been in such a terrible mood. None of this kids can talk to him. He came into my room extremely upset that I let the kids play in the living room while he was napping. He continued to say how much he hates me, how I do nothing except put away the laundry and feed the baby, how he wants me to leave or he will leave, how he will have to resort to cheating on me if that’s what it takes for me to leave etc. This is obviously very hurtful to me because I have two of his children. I know nothing he is saying is true or a reflection of who I am as a person or mother. I go above and beyond and do everything in this home for everyone. My problem is more why is he saying the things he is saying to me, why does he hate me so much out of nowhere? Every time this happens it’s just so random I don’t understand. I just had a baby and my emotions are all over the place. I have been down over this and I don’t want it to turn into something more serious than just baby blues. I know I don’t deserve this, and my kids don’t deserve to hear him speak to their mom like this. But I know it’ll go away for a little while and he’ll be normal again. Someone please help me make some sense of all of this...

[indea08]

We can’t tell you why he acts the way he does. I’m not even sure he can tell you that. But what you can do is round up the kids and leave the house when he acts that way. Establish a boundary that you won’t be disrespected, and when he violates it, leave. Go to a friends, your parents, the park, etc. Don’t subject yourself to his nastiness.

 

If it doesn’t improve after X amount of time, please consider leaving him. If he’s this way around the girls now, he will continue that behavior. That will have a lasting effect on them as they grow and become teenagers and young women. Please don’t subject your girls to that.