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Made a fool of myself


TheCasual

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So a few weeks ago I had an amazing few days. I went to see my guitar hero, Johnny Marr and then had a weekend in Swansea for Hull City's first game of the season. Great food and ended up partying with Hen party.

 

I went back to work on the Monday and was on a proper downer all week.

 

My mate invited me to a party last Saturday, I only knew two or three people.

 

But everyone seemed really chatty and friendly.

 

Especially one lady who was there with her husband. Her husband got really drunk and ended up falling asleep. We sat on the doorstep and chatted for ages. She got really touchy, feely. Keep stroking my inner thigh and hand.

 

We ended in the kitchen and she got even and more flirty and we ended up kissing. I vaguely remember her talking about having an affair.

 

She added me on Facebook. I messaged her telling her that it was nice meeting her and I apologized for my behavior. She wanted to meet for coffee, but I've said it isn't a good idea.

 

I feel worse now and have a sense of shame, embarrassment, and such a downer.

 

I dare not even message my mate who hosted the party.

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You probably shouldn't have done that but you can't undo what's already done. There was a lot of alcohol. Leave it alone and don't beat yourself up over it or look for more problems. In the grand scheme of things, it was meaningless and drunken. I don't think it's a good idea to air out your dirty laundry. Don't badmouth her either (it's not worth it and you'll just suffer more because you'll appear like a hypocrite if you take the moral high ground).

 

If you're heavily into social media, delete and block her.

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Hey there,

 

So I took a little peek at your other threads. I have a couple ideas for you.

 

1) You let women put their hands all over you all the time, it seems. Even those you're not into. Why? You have a right to step away from them and say, "You're a great friend and I'd like to keep it that way." (regarding a past post)

 

2) Stop drinking when you socialize. You said so yourself in another thread that you would handle situations differently had you not been drunk. Not saying it was the case in your current situation; just saw that was a running theme in your posts.

 

Hey, you don't have to be embarrassed. Just realize that you could have handled it better and make smarter decisions for yourself. You're not a plaything. You're a person with feelings.

 

The good point? You told this married woman it isn't a good idea. That was well done. Now give yourself some credit and get back out there and this time, look out for yourself.

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In your shoes, I would tell your mate about it. Assuming your mate is not her husband.

 

I think you did the right thing in the end - but you can be pretty sure that if anyone saw the two of you being cozy or noticed that you are now friends on Facebook and it gets back to her husband, that she is more than likely going to play the “victim” and say it was you who was the aggressor.

 

I don’t think you should make a huge deal about it - and I don’t think it’s your place to tell her husband - but I do think that, in your shoes, I would tell my friend about what happened so as to protect my friendship.

 

Anyways - your call - but that’s what I would do. I don’t think you should beat yourself up too much about it. She is the one who is married, she is the one who took some vows, and she is the one who pursued it all. Sure - it would have been nice to step away - but as far as I am concerned, she is the one who broke her vows. If it wasn’t you, it likely would have been someone else. (Although - that’s not an excuse to keep doing that kind of thing)

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You can't undo the past. Just change from this day forward.

 

Unfriend her on FB because continuing contact with her will spell trouble later.

 

It's good that you declined meeting her. She's messy and will mess up your life. Be smart and steer clear. Stay away from her and cut it off. Be safe with yourself and your life. Avoid shady people.

 

Don't drink. Be clear headed so alcohol won't cloud your better judgment.

 

Try not to feel bad. You made a mistake. Everyone makes mistakes. Correct yourself and do the right thing from now on. You'll be ok!

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I spoke to my mate who hosted the party.

 

I apologised for what happened. He said he preferred it if it wasn't in his house and accepted my apology.

 

We're going for dinner next week.

 

I'm trying to forget what happened and move on. I still don't feel great though.

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I spoke to my mate who hosted the party.

 

I apologised for what happened. He said he preferred it if it wasn't in his house and accepted my apology.

 

We're going for dinner next week.

 

I'm trying to forget what happened and move on. I still don't feel great though.

 

Good for you. Take it easy and go meet other people. Have more fun. This stuff isn't worth getting hung up over. Enjoy next week.

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Hey was it not her that initiated this interaction and doing all the pushing? Kinda hard to say no when you mix alcohol, a flirty woman that's strokin your inner thigh, etc. Don't take 100% of the blame for this...it takes two to tango.At least it didn't get to sex. Lesson learned, stay away from promiscuous attached women.

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