nyxy Posted January 9, 2019 Share Posted January 9, 2019 Hi guys! It's been a while since I've been on here - probably because I've been happily bumbling around in single-land for the last couple of years. Hi! Hope you're all well! Anyway, scenario: You meet a seemingly-great guy on a night out, while you're pretty intoxicated. As such, probably embarrassed yourself a little, but it did give you the guts to ask for his number, which he gave to you. You text him a couple of days later asking if he'd like to meet up. You get a positive reply saying yes, with some small talk. You're then away for a few days, but you say "we'll arrange something". Now, I'm rusty with dating, so help me out here. You should text him to arrange/see when he's free now, right? I normally let the guy reach out, but given the way this one has happened I feel like maybe I should? Is that weird/overboard/a turn-off? Should I be letting him ask (maybe he's not that interested)? Please stop me overthinking this! Thanks in advance. Link to comment
abitbroken Posted January 9, 2019 Share Posted January 9, 2019 Hi guys! It's been a while since I've been on here - probably because I've been happily bumbling around in single-land for the last couple of years. Hi! Hope you're all well! Anyway, scenario: You meet a seemingly-great guy on a night out, while you're pretty intoxicated. As such, probably embarrassed yourself a little, but it did give you the guts to ask for his number, which he gave to you. You text him a couple of days later asking if he'd like to meet up. You get a positive reply saying yes, with some small talk. You're then away for a few days, but you say "we'll arrange something". Now, I'm rusty with dating, so help me out here. You should text him to arrange/see when he's free now, right? I normally let the guy reach out, but given the way this one has happened I feel like maybe I should? Is that weird/overboard/a turn-off? Should I be letting him ask (maybe he's not that interested)? Please stop me overthinking this! Thanks in advance. You asked if he would like to meet up - he said yes, but you did not make plans - you just said "you will arrage something" so its on you to do the asking - he might not know if you are back or not. I would not ask him to meet up - i would ask him to dinner or coffee. you can be less direct "there's this new pizza place in town i have been wanting to check out.." and see if he bites. no pun intended. That way he knows its a date and not a hookup with a drunk woman. It also lets him see you sober. Do not go home with him/part ways in public also. if he declines, then move on. Personally, iw ould not meet up with a man i met while i was drunk. I would chalk it up to liquid courage adn say "hey, i was confident eough to get a number/give my number" and see if i could do it sober. Link to comment
katrina1980 Posted January 9, 2019 Share Posted January 9, 2019 Anyway, scenario: You meet a seemingly-great guy on a night out, while you're pretty intoxicated. As such, probably embarrassed yourself a little, but it did give you the guts to ask for his number, which he gave to you. You text him a couple of days later asking if he'd like to meet up. You get a positive reply saying yes, with some small talk. You're then away for a few days, but you say "we'll arrange something". Think of it this way. What if you met a guy, he asked for your number, texted a couple of days later asking you out and after you replied yes, he then says "we'll arrange something." Arghh!! I can't imagine you'd be too keen with that, would probably think he was playing games, which is probably what he thinks. So yes, follow up by all means! Having said that, it doesn't appear you're too comfortable in the pursuing role, which is fine (neither am I at first tbh), so next time, flirt with him, give him the green light to ask you out, and let him pursue you, at least during the early stages. Good luck and let us know what happens!! Link to comment
lostandhurt Posted January 9, 2019 Share Posted January 9, 2019 Let him know you are back from out of town and ask when he is free for coffee, lunch or whatever. Keep it simple, meet him where ever you agree on meeting and make sure you are in a public place. I am not saying he is a creepster but better be safe than sorry. The ball is in your court so run with it. BTW I have zero problems with women approaching me, asking for my number, asking me out, paying for dinner or anything else. We are supposed to treat each other as equals and if a guy is intimated because you asked him for his number or make more money than he does or whatever these junior men have issues with than he probably isn't for you. Relax, keep it light and simple and see where things go from there. Lost PS welcome back! Link to comment
DancingFool Posted January 9, 2019 Share Posted January 9, 2019 In this situation the ball is clearly in your court to follow through and arrange a concrete date - day/time/place. He has no reason to reach out to you and ask you since you took control from the get go and left it at that you are out of town but will arrange details later. You basically left him with a clear message to wait on you to carry on where you left off, so all he can do is wait on you. You already know he is interested and already agreed to the date, so the hard part is done. Now it's just logistics and working out time and place. So just text him that you are back and how about this or that day/time/place. Link to comment
Hollyj Posted January 9, 2019 Share Posted January 9, 2019 The ball is in your court. Reach out. Link to comment
thisisrichey Posted January 9, 2019 Share Posted January 9, 2019 you did sort of set an expectation that you'd arrange something - so right now i'd say the ball is in your court. But that's not a bad thing. Girls having the gutts to initiate and ask us out and doing some of the things most gals expect from guys (arrange, initiate, pay, etc.) actually makes you stand out from the crowd and impresses us. :) So yes you made it your obligation, but you'll come off looking good by this. Just don't THROW yourself at him constantly and let him initiate at times as well. Girls that have the gutts to initiate definitely win huge points with guys. Link to comment
Normm Posted January 10, 2019 Share Posted January 10, 2019 I've always been put off by women who get "pretty intoxicated". It just seems so unnecessary yet also so prevalent lately. I've gotten to the point where I drink rarely if ever. Maybe that's just me but I don't think so. My sister's having a tough time meeting guys and she drinks every time she goes out, several glasses of wine. I have always thought the quality guys aren't going to be interested for the same reason I'm not. It just shows bad judgement, lack of self control, potential alcoholism, and other associated problems. Anyway if your first contact with this guy was during an inebriated state, that might be why he's slow to get back to you. Link to comment
Wiseman2 Posted January 10, 2019 Share Posted January 10, 2019 Finish what you start. So yes don't leave him hanging with a vague "we'll arrange something". Ask him to do something over the weekend that doesn't involve booze or sleepovers. You're then away for a few days, but you say "we'll arrange something". Link to comment
nyxy Posted January 10, 2019 Author Share Posted January 10, 2019 Thanks all. That's what I needed - interesting comments! For what it's worth, I'm not a big drinker at all and I'm already embarrassed by that bit - a friend poured my drinks (I know, I know) and it wasn't intended. Ordinarily I'd just leave it, but for various reasons I'm not so sure on this one. Nothing happened that night. No kisses, no sleepovers, just chatting, a hug, and numbers swapped. Best get my thinking cap on then as to what to arrange. I'm terrible at this kind of stuff! Link to comment
lostandhurt Posted January 10, 2019 Share Posted January 10, 2019 No thinking cap needed. What do guys suggest when they ask you out? Meet for a drink after work somewhere in the middle. Meet for coffee. Keep it simple and don't suggest anything that may lock you into a long meet just in case your sober self sees this guy as a big D-bag and want to cut it short. Good luck and let us know how it goes. Don't chicken out!!! Lost Link to comment
Batya33 Posted January 10, 2019 Share Posted January 10, 2019 If you suggested to a get together to a friend what would be your next step? Since you just met him yes, arrange something, time and place. I would do a walk in the park weather permitting and stop for coffee, etc. Or go to a museum - I wouldn't do the sit across the table thing. Link to comment
thisisrichey Posted January 10, 2019 Share Posted January 10, 2019 Well.. think of what you learned about him when yo interacted. therein lies tons of clues on a good idea for you two. If not, just find somethign fun coming up in your area and invite him to join you for it and have fun together. HOPEFULLY something where you can't get over-drunk again AND can talk more and get to know eac hother. i've always loved mini golf as an early date fun activity. Link to comment
nyxy Posted June 2, 2019 Author Share Posted June 2, 2019 So, I realised I never updated this. 5 months, lots of dates, and titles later... we're happy and still laugh over the method of meeting. Girls, if you're questioning whether to make a move but you're getting a good vibe, just go for it. You never know what you might find at the end of it Link to comment
Recommended Posts
Archived
This topic is now archived and is closed to further replies.