amyjmarchi Posted January 13, 2020 Share Posted January 13, 2020 Oh Kay! So my boyfriend and I ya been together for almost A year. We have been living together pretty much the same amount of time . We took a break a wile back. That lasted couple of weeks. We got back together “ so I thought we did”. Until I found out that he has been referring to me as the “not really girlfriend “. So I excepted the fact that I was just being made a fool of and i removed all of my belongings out of the house cleaned it and now I’m staying in the sun room till I save enough to get a place. My question is how the no contact rule work in th Ian situation Link to comment
Cherylyn Posted January 13, 2020 Share Posted January 13, 2020 Ghost, block and delete. However, I would wait until you're officially moved out should you need to contact him regarding money such as splitting the rent, utilities, etc. After that, cease all contact permanently. Link to comment
Hollyj Posted January 13, 2020 Share Posted January 13, 2020 You moved in after you met? Link to comment
amyjmarchi Posted January 13, 2020 Author Share Posted January 13, 2020 You moved in after you met? No, we have known each other for well over ten years. We got along so well and we just fit. Then things changes somehow Link to comment
Hollyj Posted January 13, 2020 Share Posted January 13, 2020 He soon can you get out of there? Link to comment
Billie28 Posted January 13, 2020 Share Posted January 13, 2020 Oh Kay! So I excepted the fact that I was just being made a fool of and i removed all of my belongings out of the house cleaned it and now I’m staying in the sun room till I save enough to get a place. My question is how the no contact rule work in th Ian situation I’m sorry. But is this his house? You say you removed all of your belongings out of the house yet you remain in the house?? Why? And why did you move in with him in the first place? To help him pay his rent / mortgage??? Where did you move from? Your parents? Move back!! For you to ask how no contact works in this situation, just highlights immaturity. Communication should be high at this point ! You need to discuss this with him. He wants you out, has he given you notice that’s fair within a normal tenancy agreement. 4 weeks? You need to move out! It’s not his responsibility where you move to or how. It’s yours. So, apart from simply figuring out petty no contact. What is your plan to move? Link to comment
RayRay63 Posted January 13, 2020 Share Posted January 13, 2020 i removed all of my belongings out of the house cleaned it and now I’m staying in the sun room till I save enough to get a place. My question is how the no contact rule work in th Ian situation It is near impossible as a practical matter to do NC under the same roof. Move out. Link to comment
Wiseman2 Posted January 13, 2020 Share Posted January 13, 2020 Where did you live before? Where you homeless? Do you have friends or family who could help you out? Are you working? Going to school? No contact? What for? He thinks of you as a roommate with benefits. You need to move out. my boyfriend and I been together for almost A year. been living together pretty much the same amount of time. now I’m staying in the sun room till I save enough to get a place. Link to comment
Gary Snyder Posted January 13, 2020 Share Posted January 13, 2020 No contact does not work if you live together. Link to comment
amyjmarchi Posted January 13, 2020 Author Share Posted January 13, 2020 I’m sorry. But is this his house? You say you removed all of your belongings out of the house yet you remain in the house?? Why? And why did you move in with him in the first place? To help him pay his rent / mortgage??? Where did you move from? Your parents? Move back!! For you to ask how no contact works in this situation, just highlights immaturity. Communication should be high at this point ! You need to discuss this with him. He wants you out, has he given you notice that’s fair within a normal tenancy agreement. 4 weeks? You need to move out! It’s not his responsibility where you move to or how. It’s yours. So, apart from simply figuring out petty no contact. What is your plan to move? I was not homeless and I was asked to move in by him. As far as Communication he refuses to communicate he shuts down and ignores and mimics me when I talk so I totally agree with you when you say reeks of immaturity however the reason why I have not left yet is because I feel that I should not have to go backwards in my life because I put myself out there to be in a relationship. I am going to move out I just need to save money up first. I also am waiting to hear back from my brother to see if I can rent a room from him. I didn’t think the no contact rule would work in a situation like this I did have a read something in an article online about how to use the no contact rule while living together and it said basically treat it like a business relationship so it’s what I’m doing acting professional and treating it as if it’s a business relationship Link to comment
amyjmarchi Posted January 13, 2020 Author Share Posted January 13, 2020 Where did you live before? Where you homeless? Do you have friends or family who could help you out? Are you working? Going to school? No contact? What for? He thinks of you as a roommate with benefits. You need to move out. Thank you For your reply and for putting it in perspective . your absolute correct to him I am just a roommate with benefits Link to comment
Batya33 Posted January 13, 2020 Share Posted January 13, 2020 I was not homeless and I was asked to move in by him. As far as Communication he refuses to communicate he shuts down and ignores and mimics me when I talk so I totally agree with you when you say reeks of immaturity however the reason why I have not left yet is because I feel that I should not have to go backwards in my life because I put myself out there to be in a relationship. I am going to move out I just need to save money up first. I also am waiting to hear back from my brother to see if I can rent a room from him. I didn’t think the no contact rule would work in a situation like this I did have a read something in an article online about how to use the no contact rule while living together and it said basically treat it like a business relationship so it’s what I’m doing acting professional and treating it as if it’s a business relationship Sorry but this is a time when you move out even if you need a loan -if you don't the long term effects on you emotionally and in other relationships will make you wonder why you waited. Staying is going backwards in your life. You can't have a business relationship where you live with an ex. Link to comment
amyjmarchi Posted January 13, 2020 Author Share Posted January 13, 2020 I was not homeless and I was asked to move in by him. As far as Communication he refuses to communicate he shuts down and ignores and mimics me when I talk so I totally agree with you when you say reeks of immaturity however the reason why I have not left yet is because I feel that I should not have to go backwards in my life because I put myself out there to be in a relationship. I am going to move out I just need to save money up first. I also am waiting to hear back from my brother to see if I can rent a room from him. I didn’t think the no contact rule would work in a situation like this I did have a read something in an article online about how to use the no contact rule while living together and it said basically treat it like a business relationship so it’s what I’m doing acting professional and treating it as if it’s a business relationship No he has not once said he wanted me to leave and he has not once said for me to move out I have asked him straight forward how much she would want me to pay just to rent the room as I leave I have gotten no clear-cut answers from him Link to comment
Batya33 Posted January 13, 2020 Share Posted January 13, 2020 No he has not once said he wanted me to leave and he has not once said for me to move out I have asked him straight forward how much she would want me to pay just to rent the room as I leave I have gotten no clear-cut answers from him If you want to heal and move on and have a normal life including the potential for meeting other people then move out ASAP. Link to comment
boltnrun Posted January 13, 2020 Share Posted January 13, 2020 What happens when he starts bringing girls over? You'll wish you'd moved out when that happens. Link to comment
Billie28 Posted January 14, 2020 Share Posted January 14, 2020 I was asked to move in by him. As far as Communication he refuses to communicate he shuts down and ignores and mimics me when I talk .... the reason why I have not left yet is because I feel that I should not have to go backwards in my life because I put myself out there to be in a relationship. I am going to move out I just need to save money up first........ acting professional and treating it as if it’s a business relationship He asked you to move in , fine. And he is entitled to ask you to move out , he is even entitled to change the locks and not let you in if you won’t move out willingly. It seems you are aware he doesn’t want you there. You moved in willingly after only dating a short time and not really knowing him. That was all YOUR risk and his gain. You now feel you should not have to go backwards because you put yourself out there “to be in a relationship “ Sorry but if you were to invest in a relationship, you wouldn’t move in with someone within the first year of dating nevermind a few weeks or months. That was not commitment , but mere convenience. Only. To move back to where you lived prior is not a step backwards , it’s a step forward. Unfortunately for you when you moved in with him , that was you taking a giant step backward. If you need to save to move out , that just suggests you couldn’t afford to move in , in the first place. So go back to where you were a year ago and in future only move in with someone well after a year of dating. Good luck! Link to comment
RayRay63 Posted January 14, 2020 Share Posted January 14, 2020 I don't always agree with Billie28 but on this occasion, I concur. Link to comment
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