Jealousy

[TaraRoberts]

My boyfriend(29m) and I(30f) have been together for almost 11years and have two beautiful sons together. I always knew that his family and friends were still in contact with his ex girlfriend, but I hate that they have her on their social media and comment and like her all the time. He always tells me that I have nothing to worry about, but I guess I am just jealous of the attention that they give her. I am venting now and don't really know how to make these feelings go away. HELP!!!!!❤🙃🤯

[Hollyj]

Why does this bother you? Why is she a threat to you?

[Wiseman2]

Readjust your social media privacy settings and access. Remove unwanted people from your social media and messaging apps. Clean up and clean out your social media regularly and keep it fresh, up to date and positive.What's wrong with your relationship that makes you instead focus on this nonsense? Cut to the truth about why after over a decade and 2 kids this suddenly bugs you. Do you get along with his parents?

[shellyf62]

My Sister has my Ex Husband on her FB & it really annoys me, esp seeing as he cheated & made my life hell.

I have asked her why she does & she doesnt have an answer for me, so I blocked him & cant see any of their posts which suits me just fine.

 

Block your partner's ex & you wont be able to see their interaction. I promise it will make you feel a lot better!

[Cherylyn]

My relatives and in-laws all co-mingle on social media and I don't like it either. I can't do anything about it nor control others. They do whatever they want, comment, reply with cute emojis, the whole lot. I simply hide them so I don't have to see it on my news feed. Out of sight, out of mind.

 

I'm secure with my coveted spot within the family tree. I've earned it. I've been married to my in-laws' son for a long time, have two great sons and I'm not in the least jealous nor feel threatened whatsoever. You should feel the same way.

 

As for your jealousy regarding the attention they give the ex girlfriend, you need to readjust the way you think. Stop obsessing over her. Live your own life, get busy and preoccupied with your own busyness. Focus on your sons and your own family life. Or, focus on your marriage or yourself. Also, you don't have to prove anything in order to feel accepted or well liked. You're already in. Enjoy your status as do I. Be like me and have an indifferent attitude or "I don't care!" mindset. I live my own life, workout, have my own interests, day to day busyness, tend to my household and do my own thing. I could care less!

 

Develop your own self confidence and security. Once you feel self confident and secure, you could care less about others. If they want to party online, I say, "Go for it, go ahead and be my guest!" Let them wear themselves out. I say, "Go knock yourself out!" to those who are busy on FB.

 

Work on yourself. Focus on yourself. Get preoccupied with what makes you happy, fulfilled and content. Then you won't care about other people anymore. This is how your jealous thoughts and insecurity will go away. It worked for me and it will work for you, too.

 

For me, I exercise a lot. I feel better about myself. I've since lost 35 pounds. I look and feel great. It's a real self confidence booster. I have intertwined FB people or "friends," too such as relatives and in-laws who are all FB friends. At first, it drove me nuts and I too felt jealous. Not anymore. They can party all they want while I workout and take a nap!

[Billie28]

My brother has been married for 15 years has 2 kids , I have his ex who he was with for 4 years on my fb.

Why? Because she’s a lovely person and she is also married with 3 kids. Love seeing her fb updates etc.

It’s no big deal.

 

When my brother met his wife , she was super jealous of his ex and it was so ridiculous.

His ex is part of a group of mutual friends. They all knew each other at uni.

 

It’s irrelevant what I think of my brothers ex. What’s relevant is what he thinks about his wife and ex.

And really what he would like is that his wife would stop being so foolish to even entertain such silly thoughts.

I think she has dropped it or at least I hope she has lol

[tattoobunnie]

I like posts from people I haven't seen in over two decades. I do not plan to ever see them again. I would not worry about liked FB posts. You trump his ex by 11 years and two beautiful kids.

 

My suggestion is to block her. Out of sight. Out of mind.

[Rose Mosse]

Your boyfriend hasn't set acceptable boundaries or made the specific request not to have her a part of your lives (both with his ex and with his family) and this is where you have your problem. Now that it's 11 years into the relationship, this is a bit of "too little, too late". Those friendships have already developed so I don't think it's realistic to expect everyone to comply but your boyfriend should be hearing you.

 

I don't think that you have to put up with it or block her. The only person you should be speaking with is your boyfriend and if he thinks you're coming a little left field after all this time, I don't think you should be surprised either. Be prepared to explain yourself a bit further because you aren't making much sense considering the timeline. He shouldn't be callous about the way you feel. Of course, that's going to make you feel worse. He doesn't seem very smart about this if that's the way he's reacting to you. Are the interactions becoming a bit more frequent than usual? Why has it only grated on your nerves now?

[catfeeder]

Since we can't control other people, we CAN control our own involvement with anything other's do that we don't like. That means blocking stuff and minimizing our focus on it. After 11 years, it only 'needs' to be a problem if you make it into one.