Feeling so empty with nothing to look forward to

[JDMxTeGrA101]

Has anyone ever been in this situation? Like all I do is work and on weekends I never have plans other than gym, then after that I just stay in bed all day and look forward to dinner where I would usually cook a meal or order take out. I'm considering working a part time job on the weekends just so I won't stay home at rot all day. I had an unproductive 3 day weekend doing nothing. I planned a trip with friends but they had other plans with their s/o so I just ended up staying home all weekend.

 

Im 30 years old now and lost my social circle as I grew older since they all got married and have kids/have kids on the way and just stay in most of the time. I don't know if Im depressed but even after work I have no desire to do anything other than lay in bed and browse on my phone/watch Netflix. I also miss having a g/f but I know I'm not at the right mindset for a gf at the moment so I won't bother with dating. I just want to meet new people in my age bracket. Ive looked at meet up but not a lot of people seem to attend the events in my area and the others are just an older crowd. I literally only have one friend I can call but this guy is just so boring and all he wants to do is eat out then go home. He's not social either so he's more like an eat out buddy

 

I also notice myself reminiscing about the past times with my ex when we would always have plans, go on vacations/getaways together every holiday, and wishing I can re-live those moments but I know it will never happen.

 

Any advice guys?

[Billie28]

What hobbies to you have?

Play a team sport?

Try volunteering on the weekends.

Could be anything like at an animal shelter if you like animals.

Anything where you will meet like minded people!

[Hollyj]

Join clubs that offer your hobbies. Take classes, join a hiking or walking group, etc... I met a lot of people through volunteering.

[Carus]

Billie has some good suggestions ^^, especially team sports... Volleyball, Indoor Cricket, Bowling etc.... Good fun!

 

What about travel? Are you in a position to get out and see some of the world? Does wonders for the soul*

 

I lost 90% of my friends and family in the aftermath of my marriage. Takes a bit of getting used to but being able to do whatever I want whenever I want is priceless :)

 

Carus*

[Wiseman2]

Are you depressed? Is there a recent loss or breakup or disappointment? Consider the part time job, just to get out and mix things up more.

[Batya33]

Find a community theater and do backstage work. It's really social, you're making a contribution and it seems to be very rewarding -feeling of accomplishment (note - I never did this work. I have about 4-5 friends/former friends who did/do so for many years -I went to many of the productions, saw many couple off/get married/make lifelong friends and have a total blast during and after -people go out after to grab a meal or a drink).

 

Other volunteer work is great too but that's my top suggestion. Good luck!

[goddess]

Do any of the people at work meet after work for a drink during the week or on Friday nights? Like Billie mentioned, how about volunteering somewhere? You said that there are "not a lot of people seem to attend the events in my area and the others are just an older crowd." So what? Even if there are a few people that attend Meetup groups in your area, it would be a start. I understand exactly how you feel and what you are going through because I struggle with your same issues (my 29 year married ended in divorce recently). I would suggest that you not to dwell on the past though, because it will hinder your progress to get out of the rut that you're in. Lastly, you may want to try therapy to find out why you feel like this. Just a thought. Good luck.

[goddess]

Do any of the people at work meet after work for a drink during the week or on Friday nights? Like Billie mentioned, how about volunteering somewhere? You said that there are "not a lot of people seem to attend the events in my area and the others are just an older crowd." So what? Even if there are a few people that attend Meetup groups in your area, it would be a start. I understand exactly how you feel and what you are going through because I struggle with your same issues (my 29 year marriage ended in divorce recently). I would suggest that you not dwell on the past though, because it will hinder your progress to get out of the rut that you're in. Lastly, you may want to try therapy to find out why you feel like this. Just a thought. Good luck.

 

Sorry about the grammatical errors; I was in a hurry.

[reinventmyself]

I remember being single and after my first failed relationship, post divorce. The kids were older, my friends were either married or in relationships and I had some weekends, much like you described.

 

I joined a couple meetups. The first one co-ed, but I wasn't looking for a relationship and groups of people who only hung out at different bars, hooking up with each other. I joined a women's group and at least 2 times a week we'd meet for dinner, game night, hiking and community events. From there I joined a hiking Meetup. I had 3 to 4 things a week I could choose to do. I've made some life long friends from these Meetups.

 

I remember those solitary weekends. They get lonely, I get it. But you do have some options.

[saluk]

30 is young

you are probably depressed (get help)

it's common to be depressed after a breakup

people do often change their social circle as you age

it's tough to be single with mostly married friends, sorry for that

it's never too late to find a new social circle or just add more

you may have to join something for a while to start feeling the attachment

it takes work - but you are worth the effort

and get help, especially if you really dont have any support

[catfeeder]

Ive looked at meet up but not a lot of people seem to attend the events in my area and the others are just an older crowd.

 

Reconsider the 'older crowd'. They can help to mentor you into creating your own social life beyond them. They've 'been there' and have learned a lot along the way.

 

Whenever you don't know what to do, learn from teachers.