husband hates his job

[okeyd]

Husband hates his Job.

Since we met he has been.in nine jobs and we have moved house for each of these jobs.

His work takes us to remote areas where the only work I can get is menial and low paid.

After about a year into each job he starts to hate it. And that Is all he talks about in all his spare time.

This one has got worse and each time a job gets to this stage of discontent, we move.

My career is a city one and he refuses to live in a city.

His family are v critical of the fact that I have a low paid job.

Focusing on the disparity of wage earning.

 

The moaning from.him and criticism from his family are wearing me down.

 

I have just about had enough of it.

 

We cannot settle down and buy a house if we are going to move again so our lives are constantly moving, not making friends as we are always leaving.

 

His family have said I must use my savings to buy a house.

 

Any advice wd be helpful.

[Littler]

Sounds like he needs to either suck it up and deal his miserable jobs and find a way out of it (education, training, etc.).

 

Is there any chance he can change careers?

[okeyd]

This is third career

[okeyd]

Involved a lot of study etc now he is tired of it and always has problems from bosses who pick on him, unpaid overtime and long gruelling hours.

[Littler]

Why won't he live in a city? He doesn't want you to be the primary earner in your household?

[arjumand]

Clarify -- his family criticized you and tell you how to spend your money and he not only doesn't explain the situation he allows them to do so? Can you explain what it is you get out of this relationship? Your professional life has been completely stifled, you hear nothing but complaining at home and criticism when with his family. What advantage do you derive from staying?

[melancholy123]

Yes why are you still with him?

 

If he hates every job so much, perhaps he should start his own business. Does he have any skills that would allow him to do that?

[Hollyj]

What is his job? What are yo trained in?

[Ceemoney]

While it's becoming more and more of a common thing to hop around jobs every 3 years or so these days, what you're describing sounds a bit extreme. This is his 3rd career and 9th job since you've been together?

 

Have you considered suggesting that he speak to someone about this? I can't even fake being an armchair psychologist, but this behavior isn't normal either. He's never satisfied, always complaining, finds misery at every job after less than year? At best, he might have some issues that need to be dealt with professionally...at worst, he might just be an inconsiderate and selfish partner who thinks only of himself and spares no thought for you, your happiness or your career.

 

If he doesn't try to seek help or doesn't care to see how miserable this makes you...it might be worth thinking about yourself (and only yourself) for once. It sounds a lot like you're just an accessory to his life...and you might need to reevaluate whether you want that for the rest of your life... :-/

[Cherylyn]

Economics and finances are the #1 argument for most couples especially in marriage. Try professional marriage counseling, career counseling and seek help from a financial advisor. If that doesn't work, question whether or not you will be happy with a husband who hops from job to job all too frequently.

 

Think about your future and your own survival. If your husband is unstable, then you ought to start thinking about becoming more financially independent however way you do it.

[okeyd]

A relative of mine did say to.me that I must not earn more than him which I found odd. But when i look back I realise I have been prevented from succeeding in.my career and financially.

His family seem to want me to fork out my savings to.make up for not being able to get a well paid job to.match his salary. Things have got a bit tense. I sense aggression from him.

 

When we met I was breadwinner with my own property and savings.

He was in debt and no property and a poorly paid job. He was unhappy in his Job etc

I sold my property went to his home country bought property in both our names. He pursued a new career. But he was unhappy in the successive jobs.

I then found I was pushed out of work.

Finally, I worked out that each time his mother asked where I was working I lost my Job.

Then she told me to leave him and the house I paid for!! All the time him complaining about his jobs etc.

Long story short we moved back to my home country, I sold the house,

The job saga continued. The mother now picking on me for the low paid job I have.

Anyway husband seems to try and control my work, friends and what i do. All the while complaining about his work.

[Capricorn3]

Sounds like the sooner you get a divorce the better off you'll be. This is no way to live your life and the longer you remain with this man the worse your life will get (imo). If you want to have a better and happier future, file for divorce.

[Hollyj]

This should have been over, long ago. He sounds like a controlling loser! I don't understand what attracted you to this man to begin with!