Thinking of relocating

[Jetta]

Out of state visiting my aunt, and really like the cost of living here. I looked into jobs and applied to a good one at the University near her house. Apartments are really affordable if I'm working.

 

My astro chart says it's a really positive place for me. Really thinking of moving. Mom doesn't want me to. Really I'd have to think of my daughter, but I'm sure we could work something out, she's 16.

 

Mom wants me to stay with her, she needs the money. I've never found a place my chart was so positive about. Where I live now says lots of barriers to success, detachment from reality. Where I'm thinking of going says goals achieved, independance attained. I've experienced the first, would like to experience the positive side of things. Thoughts? Suggestions?

[Batya33]

I would completely discount the charts you mentioned. That’s just for fun or entertainment. Here’s what I would consider - how often can you see your daughter if you move? How much would it cost to move including lost income ? How would it affect the music activities you’ve been doing?

[abitbroken]

If the cost of living is low, the wages may be lower, too. Come on -- you have a daughter that you have visitation with and you want to move to another state on a whim? Also, you won't automatically get disability if you relocate. I agree with mom -- you have a history of doing okay for a little while and then making terrible choices that requires mom to rescue you. Instead of going off on another whim - stay the course -- save money while living with mom so that you can get your own place, show yourself worthy of more time with your daughter and work at things. Moving will not solve any problems. It will only create others. One day you want your own apartment and want your daughter to live with you, another day you buy musical equipment to get into song writing and waste your money on all that. Stay the course. keep getting your life in order. Do you have a car anymore? And if you are living in a strange place, can you guarantee you are not going to run into the arms of another loser?

 

And this "my chart is positive about it" - don't listen to crackpot astrology. Check out reality.

[boltnrun]

I doubt your chart said you must make this move immediately.

 

Please don't leave your daughter behind. You will regret it if you do.

[Jetta]

I checked the jobs wages tend to be lower but not the job I applied for. I called social security my disability income would not change. My daughter is my only other consideration and out of state visitation can be arranged. But I would have to secure a job first.

 

I only applied to one and it's at a University so I would just have to see. And the chart is dead on about my current life in my current location, and I blew it off the first time I read it. I won't discount it.

[boltnrun]

I checked the jobs wages tend to be lower but not the job I applied for. I called social security my disability income would not change. My daughter is my only other consideration and out of state visitation can be arranged. But I would have to secure a job first.

 

I only applied to one and it's at a University so I would just have to see. And the chart is dead on about my current life in my current location, and I blew it off the first time I read it. I won't discount it.

 

Yes, visitation could be arranged, but why would you want to do that to your daughter?

 

And did your chart say you have to move immediately? Wouldn't that place still be good for you in two years after your daughter is an adult?

 

Jetta, seems like every other month you have a new impulsive plan that's supposed to magically change your life. Why not try sticking to a plan for more than a month or two? You don't allow enough time for any of your plans to play out.

[tattoobunnie]

My husband's mom got into her head to move 2000 miles away after a cyber relationship that was only about 2 months old. Told him that he needed to go to college now that she was moving. She moved. He went to college, and as quickly as she moved, she moved back, and my husband had to take care of her ever since. She also did that when he was little. Left for DC for work, and he lived with his dad. She moved back after a few years. Things like that really make me question her as a parent.

 

Don't go by charts. Go by actual opportunities, and a better life for your kid.

[abitbroken]

I checked the jobs wages tend to be lower but not the job I applied for. I called social security my disability income would not change. My daughter is my only other consideration and out of state visitation can be arranged. But I would have to secure a job first.

 

I only applied to one and it's at a University so I would just have to see. And the chart is dead on about my current life in my current location, and I blew it off the first time I read it. I won't discount it.

 

But do you know how much it would be to travel back and forth from out of state to see your daughter? and what if you were asked to work extra? Do you even have a car to see her or would it be a plane ride? Also, you are letting your daughter down. Even if you only have her Sundays, you need to be available more to keep open the possibility of seeing her more when she wants to. I mean, you lost the ablity to see her at one point. honestly, stick close by. Otherwise you are showing that you are abandoning your daughter for a pipe dream. Wait until she is in college for a drastic move across state lines. Be there just for the off chance she requests to see you more, to be in the audience of her plays and games to show her mom cares and is getting her crap together.

 

Also, if you are on disability, they can't even hire you full time because you are *supposed* to not be capable of full time work - so how does your disability and part time work support you with the new expenses of traveling every week to see your daughter. This is a whim - not a strategic career move.

what happened to getting a place nearby where your daughter can stay?

[Seraphim]

My son is on disability and he can only make $200 a month. At $201 it affects his disability. However my son is on permanent disability.

[Jetta]

I am on SSD, and in 2018 could make 1173/mo. I will plan it for 2 years for my daughter's sake, just hope my aunt doesn't die before I get here. She is 83. But I know Minnesota is a nice state but I hate being there and have lived there 40 years.

 

I finally found a place I want and could afford to live, so I guess I can wait a couple more years. Work on saving and improving my finances. But traveling is good for my soul.

[Jetta]

It's standard hours of 20 per week. No extra. I know what flights cost visitation schedule would be changed. I do have a car. Plus she might consider college where I'd be working and could get her a discount I'm sure. That's only if I get that job.

[Batya33]

Yes. Traveling is good for many peoples souls. It also is expensive and requires time. Right now it sounds like you have other priorities that should come first. A child who you should see as much as possible - flights would make that difficult - working on your medical conditions etc. you seem to go very quickly from big idea to big idea without addressing the basics. Didn’t you invest in buying things for your future music career and spend time networking locally too?