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Is there a dating site (especially a free one) that caters for younger men seeking older women as their lifetime partner?

 

Plenty of Fish imposes an arbitrary age gap cap of 14 years' difference and most other sites are 'cougar' sites which focus on casual sex only.

 

I know of a few couples where the woman is older and the man is younger and they are happy together but none of the couples met through an online dating site.

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Why would you want more than 14 years? It sounds counterintuitive to finding a lifetime partner. You are seeking for a small demographic so the chances for a site targeting it specifically seem small to me. Have you also tried okcupid, badoo etc? Do the same restrictions apply?

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Why would you want more than 14 years? It sounds counterintuitive to finding a lifetime partner. You are seeking for a small demographic so the chances for a site targeting it specifically seem small to me. Have you also tried okcupid, badoo etc? Do the same restrictions apply?

Since my best friend is happily married to a woman 17 years his senior and a friend's brother has been happily married to a woman 20 years his senior, (for over 20 years) ... And since I'm not attracted to men my own age... And since men have been choosing radically younger women without being challenged for hundreds of years, I've decided that's what I want too.

 

The sites you mentioned don't cater for people this situation unfortunately.

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Fair enough. However, what you describe tend to be exceptions in my experience, regardless of the genders involved. I doubt that your friends went specifically looking for someone much older/younger. Focusing on age as a number so much sounds counterproductive to me as it may lead to dismissing/ overlooking important red flags.

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Fair enough. However, what you describe tend to be exceptions in my experience, regardless of the genders involved. I doubt that your friends went specifically looking for someone much older/younger. Focusing on age as a number so much sounds counterproductive to me

You could say that Mick Jagger etc and they would laugh.

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Mick Jagger is not an ordinary man. Are you Elizabeth Taylor or Jennifer Lopez? These are very unique people/exceptions. Mick Jagger is a multimillionaire music genius. He has things going for him that the average man doesn't. My comment is not motivarted by a gender double standard. It's about odds and what is realistically achievable for most people. Anyway, sorry for not being able to answer your question. Good luck with your quest!

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Mick Jagger is not an ordinary man. Are you Elizabeth Taylor or Jennifer Lopez? Mick Jagger is a multimillionaire music genius. He has things going for him that the average man doesn't. This is not about the gender double standard at all. It's about odds and what is realistically achievable for most people.

This is a huge gender double standard. No one asks Mick - "why don't you choose someone your own age?".

 

Look at him. He looks horrible. It's obvious why his current woman is with him. (Money and fame.)

 

Turn the tables and a huge issue is being made of Emmanuel Macron's wife being 24 years older. The press are obsessed with it. It's a huge double standard and I will call it out.

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I agree with there being a double standard and I don't like it either. However, I think that when one focuses on the age number and appearance rather than the qualities of the person as a whole, the end result is liable to end in unhappiness and incompatibility regardless of genders. I would prioritize finding compatibility and happiness over strictly external qualities/trying to prove some point and that goes for both genders.

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Why try to change what you see as a double standard by dating? I would think if you wanted this as your cause you'd want to have more of an objective role -maybe educating/informing men why you think it's a double standard? And of course you'd have the practical reason of men who want more than one child especially need to choose someone whose biological clock isn't ticking and if they are in their 40s and want that it likely won't work with a woman the same age.

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Why try to change what you see as a double standard by dating? I would think if you wanted this as your cause you'd want to have more of an objective role -maybe educating/informing men why you think it's a double standard? And of course you'd have the practical reason of men who want more than one child especially need to choose someone whose biological clock isn't ticking and if they are in their 40s and want that it likely won't work with a woman the same age.

Because those men are hard to find. Most dating sites that have younger men looking for older cater for men looking for casual sex.

 

I get lots of younger after me.. But they are only after sex. Nothing else.

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And of course you'd have the practical reason of men who want more than one child especially need to choose someone whose biological clock isn't ticking and if they are in their 40s and want that it likely won't work with a woman the same age.

 

Someone failed to inform Chris Hemsworth I am always saddened reading that argument perpetuated, especially when it's by women. Once again it's approaching women/people as numbers/breeding animals rather than multidimensional individuals. Plus, science has largely narrowed that biologic gap. Imo, that argument contains a large dose of a double standard stemming from the past in our day and age.

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And of course you'd have the practical reason of men who want more than one child especially need to choose someone whose biological clock isn't ticking and if they are in their 40s and want that it likely won't work with a woman the same age.

 

Someone failed to inform Chris Hemsworth I am always saddened reading that argument perpetuated, especially when it's by women. Once again it's approaching women/people as numbers/breeding animals rather than multidimensional individuals. Plus, science has largely narrowed that biologic gap. Imo, that argument contains a large dose of a double standard stemming from the past in our day and age.

Thank you.

 

It's surprising how many men and women don't actually want children. It's used to shame women too.

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And of course you'd have the practical reason of men who want more than one child especially need to choose someone whose biological clock isn't ticking and if they are in their 40s and want that it likely won't work with a woman the same age.

 

Someone failed to inform Chris Hemsworth I am always saddened reading that argument perpetuated, especially when it's by women. Once again it's approaching women/people as numbers/breeding animals rather than multidimensional individuals. Plus, science has largely narrowed that biologic gap. Imo, that argument contains a large dose of a double standard stemming from the past in our day and age.

 

No, it has not narrowed the gap other than in the case of egg freezing technology to a certain extent. Old eggs are old eggs. Certainly surrogacy and adoption is more widely available but a woman's eggs age, technology can test the risks perhaps especially after pregnancy but it hasn't helped older women have full term pregnancies with their own eggs where the technology somehow refreshes the woman's own eggs.

 

I think it's totally fine for a man who wants biological children from his wife to prioritize finding someone whose age is consistent with that goal. Not a double standard -just biology and the realities of family planning. My being a woman doesn't make it worse or better to write about that -in fact it might make it better since I had the larger brunt of that reality when I was dating in my mid-late 30s.

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Because those men are hard to find. Most dating sites that have younger men looking for older cater for men looking for casual sex.

 

I get lots of younger after me.. But they are only after sex. Nothing else.

 

Right - for you personally I can see where you want what you want. I was asking how you thought just by finding someone to date who meets your age requirements that you'd somehow be supporting a societal change in a double standard you see. That connection I did not see from just dating someone.

 

I wouldn't do dating sites if there are none right now or if they're geared to casual sex. I would get involved in activities you like to do where you meet all sorts of people and where the activity attracts a large variety of ages - like volunteering in backstage community theater, or swing dancing lessons, a hiking group, etc. And if you connect with people and feel comfortable you can appropriately ask if they know any younger men looking for older women. You might also consult a dating agency or matchmaker.

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No one asks Mick - "why don't you choose someone your own age?".

 

Look at him. He looks horrible. It's obvious why his current woman is with him. (Money and fame.)

 

Turn the tables and a huge issue is being made of Emmanuel Macron's wife being 24 years older. The press are obsessed with it. It's a huge double standard and I will call it out.

 

But you just answered your own question: despite how bad Mick looks, he has money (bazillions) and fame (trillions).

 

And while yes, it's a huge double standard, it does exist.

 

I was on POF, and like you, I got a lot of 21 year-olds who wanted an older woman for sex. Many said they wanted a relationship, but come on. Then, POF put in place the 14 year age-gap rule, and it stopped.

 

However, I don't believe that other sites have this: OKC, Tinder, Match, etc.

 

You're not wrong for wanting what you want. It's just more of a needle in a haystack type of thing.

 

BTW, my sister is 8 years older than her husband. He's super cute, and all the young girls wanted him, but there was something about her, for him. 15+ years and 2 kids later, still going strong.

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I do find it a little odd to be so focused on age. I've dated a couple of older women in my time, but it was more just a case of we met and hit off and she happened to be older and I happened to be younger. If either of them had ever told me that they weren't attracted to men theirs own age it would have really weirded me out and made me see them as kind of immature and shallow.

 

I'm not saying you are either of those things; that would have just been my perception. You are an adult who is allowed to like what you like and go for what you want. If I were you I'd avoid the "cougar" specific sites because you are likely to be completely fetishized on them. I'd just do one of the "standard" (not POF obviously) apps, set your parameters, and look for what you want. Your best bet is probably with a guy who isn't necessarily looking for an older woman but just happens to find you interesting and attractive.

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Years ago I worked at an athletic club. There was this HUGE scandal involving a 32 year old woman who was married to one of the racquetball instructors having an affair with an 18 year old trainer who worked at the club. A couple of months into the affair she became pregnant by the 18 year old. The 18 year old told me he was working her out extra hard trying to cause her to miscarry. She did end up miscarrying and soon afterward was taken to the ER by ambulance because she'd tried to commit suicide.

 

Sounds like a recipe for disaster, no?

 

Well, today the former 32 year old woman and 18 year old man are celebrating 18 years of marriage. They didn't have children together but obviously she divorced her husband and married the former 18 year old. He is on social media (he's somewhat of a local celebrity now) frequently praising his "beautiful" wife. He takes her on wonderful trips and treats her like a queen.

 

So, yeah, sometimes it does work out.

 

My friend, however, married a man 10 years younger than her. About 8 years into the marriage he started lying about his age and having affairs with very young women (one of them was 20 years old while my friend was in her mid-40s at that time). He wanted a 22 year old girlfriend, not a wife in her mid-40s. So he cheated and my friend was eventually forced to divorce him due to his numerous affairs with young women.

 

So, yeah, sometimes it doesn't work out.

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I'm ed then basically

Well, no, it's just that your requirements and your goals narrow the dating pool. If those are musts for you, so be it and accept the narrowing of the dating pool. I would though make sure from time to time that it's still a must and that you're not unnecessarily closing yourself off to men who are your age or older based on preconceived notions/assumptions.

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you're not questioned for looking for a certain age group. there was simply a reminder dating will likely go a little slower because there will be less to choose from. it doesn't matter which criteria it was that narrowed down your dating pool. it could've been "i don't want anyone who eats pasta" instead "he needs to be X years younger".

 

don't sweat it, keep looking. i would be encouraged that posters mentioned many sites that don't have the arbitrary age gap rule. you already attract younger men as you say, and you seem very pretty as well, so i doubt you'll have trouble off line either.

 

as for many only looking for sex, i think you'd have to weed those out regardless of which age bracket you dated within.

 

good luck!

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Do you know what!.. I bet men don't experience this level of questioning.

 

I prefer younger men. I don't find men my own age attractive. That's it!

 

This does not need to be justified or explained.

 

I shall keep looking for site.

 

No - not justified or explained - my point was you might wish to internally reevaluate that since often preferences like that are not set in stone. I had different standards in my teens/20s than later and the change wasn't necessarily because I was "more mature" -I just changed. Seems pretty broad to state that just because a man is your age you won't find him attractive -don't justify or explain but perhaps do some self-talk as to why you'd eliminate an entire category of men based solely on age. I wonder what would happen for example if you assumed someone was much older but was your age and felt attracted but then learned he was your age (not because he lied, because you were mistaken). Would the attraction then poof disappear?

 

Prefer is one thing - eliminating all men your age is another and there's nothing wrong with that at all. It just limits your dating pool to an extent where you might want to reevaluate.

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We can't help who we are or aren't attracted to. I've never been attracted to men in their 40s or over. Maybe that will change in time, who knows. It's possible, but unlikely. But I would rather be single than date someone I'm not attracted to.

 

I'm usually attracted to men in their late 20s and 30s. That's it. It's not so niche really. I don't care about skin colour, income, religion...

 

There are women out there who will only date a man with a six pack or a man who drives a certain type of car... and there are some men out there who will only date a woman of a certain dress size or men who will only date blondes and not brunettes.

 

It's not really a 'preference'. To use the word 'preference' negatively implies that it's possible to settle for something you don't want. But who would do that? It's not my duty to date or marry.

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