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what can i do


at a loss

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I dont know what to do im a recovering porn addict and my marriage is in tatters. i have been porn free for over 2 and a half years but my marriage is on the rocks. There is no trust understandably. Last night it came to a head when during a family party i proded a young woman on the shoulder as i walked past it was all innocent. My wife saw this and got very upset and it ended in a huge arguement between the 2 of us at the end of the night. My wife wont talk to me and i feel like im drowning and dont know how i can evan start to put things right again.

 

We have been through so much over the last 5 years there is always another stressful situation coming along. I am not good at putting things into words and struggle to explain things properley i would just like some help. thanks for reading.

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I feel for you mate if a women even texts me or talks to me I'm apparently cheating that does sound bad but you're on a good road to recovery and there will be bad patches and it will be a hard slog but one day things might change I feel for you pal just speak to her get everything off your chest and understand and listen to her and if it's not meant to be the best would be to walk away and keep level headed keep your chin up

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Short of unzipping and slapping your d*ck atop her shoulder, I'm trying to think of any form of shoulder contact that would warrant a meltdown. If there are deeper issues, I'd be open to listening. I wouldn't put up with trivial arguments like this, though.

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Tho your porn addition put a tremendous strain on your marriage, I believe there are other things in your relationship that play a role in why your marriage isn't working. I'm assuming you tried marriage counseling? From my what I have seen with my friends go through infidelity/addiction issues, it had brought them closer together because they were very dedicated to work on solving their differences. It takes two to repair a marriage, and she's not having any of it. I'm only guessing, that she is so not over it and wants to keep punishing you for your mistakes....and possibly staying due to financial reasons and or staying for the kids (if there are any). Your marriage is suffering from a terminal illness and if she can't be on board with fixing it, then it is just best to let it die and move on.

IMO you both need to sit down and figure out if it's worth staying together.

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we havent been through marraige counselling i have booked an appointment for friday but i dont know if it will do any good. I know i have hurt her and i know that my actions have caused triggers for my wife. I can see she is hurting and really want to fix our marriage. We have been through so so much i hope iwe can work through it i really do.

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just to clarify this girl is a friend of my cousins i poked her on the neck as i walked past her. the argument me and my wife had escalated at the end of the night and i ended up pushing her to the floor i didnt mean to push her that hard i only meant to push her away never the less i did

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Too much buried hostility. You might try marriage counselling. Make sure both of you are not drinking and arguing. At the rate things are going the cops and lawyers will soon be involved. Admit your marriage needs a lot of help and get that help.

the argument me and my wife had escalated at the end of the night and i ended up pushing her to the floor i didnt mean to push her that hard
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Our marriage does need a lot of help.I have a counselling session booked for Friday.

 

The truth is i have let things slide since my d-day my wife went to counselling for a long time to work on herself. I however did start to go to counselling but did not stay the course and used my car breaking down and not being able to get it fixed as a reason not to go. I also never went through the 12 step programme. I would go to meetings but i never found a sponser and didnt go through the steps. My wife did a lot were as i just tried to move on and this is were our problem lies with me.

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