Is there a chance she's going to contact me back?

[xcal237]

My story is a long and complicated one. I visited my girlfriends parents this Christmas but ended up leaving her 2 days before Christmas Eve. The reason why I left her was because I saw too many red flags in the relationship. She always kept forgetting her birth control pills, she was controlling she wanted me to share my amazon video password to her sister and when i told her i didn't want to; she flipped out trying to guilt me by saying that if i trust her i should trust her family, she also did not communicate her emotions well at all (I did not tell her that these were the reasons why i left, i told her i left because she was being distant and she told me that there was no future for us). I was gonna ask her father’s permission to marry her but that never came to fruition because I ended up getting a plane ticket back home. She begged me to stay but she also mentioned that she did not see us working out in the long run. Which hurt like hell because I was about to propose to her. I asked her this several times and her answer was always the same. I asked her one more time before I finally bought the ticket and all she could say was that she still did not see us working out. Mind you i did not tell her that i was proposing to her she did not know until she broke up with me a month after.

 

I got back home and I was devastated. I begged her back and she said she was gonna give me a second chance. However when she finally came back she gave me the silent treatment. I tried talking to her and she shut me out. She told me that I was putting words in her mouth when all I was doing was asking her if she still wanted to make the relationship work. She kicked me out of her room and then later texted me saying that she hopes I’m happy with my decision and that we won’t work out if we keep going on like this.

 

I begged her back again. This time she said she wants us to be together but she tells me she needs time. I pleaded and prodded and she told me that that drove her away.

 

I left for training for a month since I’m in the military and she assures me that she wasn’t gonna date anyone. I later found out that she put her status on Facebook as single and that she’s back on tinder. I approached her and she said that she was only on it for a day and that she deleted it. She told me we were done and I asked her if this was her second chance. She told me that we should go on a break and we can talk about it when I get back. At that time i seriously felt that she was just stringing me along until she could find another man.

 

As I was on the field I poured my heart out to her. She said she didn’t have feelings for me anymore. However she still kept responding to my texts. She told me that I should move on and I thought that was the end of it.

 

A few days pass and I ask her for a chance to prove myself that I’ve changed and that I want to show her In person. She said I can take her out when I get back but she also said it won’t change her mind. I said I’ll take that chance. I kept pouring my heart out to her and she finally told me to stop it cause she felt weird whenever I told her I love her. I finally told her that I planned to propose to her and she called me that night. She said that it was okay for us to date again when I got back.

 

The following morning she posted a story on insta saying that if a person leaves you they should stay that way and not pop in and out. I text her saying that I choose to be with her. She told me that she’s done and there’s no chance of us getting back. I beg her to give me another chance but she was not having it. I then called her on the phone and she was angry telling me that I just told her that because I wanted to fix things but in reality I kept it to myself because I wanted to see how she truly felt about me. I couldn’t keep it in any longer because I felt guilty about not telling her the reasons why I left her in the first place. Now we’re broken up and I texted her a final letter. Surprisingly she replied. In it I said that hopefully one day when our emotions are down and if we’re still single maybe we can date again. I tell her I hope she has a good day and she wished me the same too and that was that.

 

Idk what to think. Any1 here thinks that she might regret her decision of dumping me? or if this is salvageable at all?

[ninjabib]

I think this is done. You both have trouble being straight and communicating honestly with one another. Lots of game playing, seems like a power struggle not a relationship. YOu also chased way too hard.

 

If i was you i'd just carry on with your life, getting back together would only delay the inevitable IMO.

[xcal237]

I think this is done. You both have trouble being straight and communicating honestly with one another. Lots of game playing, seems like a power struggle not a relationship. YOu also chased way too hard.

 

If i was you i'd just carry on with your life, getting back together would only delay the inevitable IMO.

 

The thing is though I was always open about communicating. She however just shuts down. I really think that if we communicated better we could have made the relationship work.

[MissCanuck]

How often was she forgetting to take her birth control pill, and did she tell you this before or after sex?

 

It sounds to me like she is well and truly done, and wants to explore other options.

[xcal237]

How often was she forgetting to take her birth control pill, and did she tell you this before or after sex?

 

It sounds to me like she is well and truly done, and wants to explore other options.

 

She would leave it at her apartment when she’d come down to my place over the weekend and she’s done this multiple times. Whenever i buy her the plan b pill she’d take it but she’d always have an attitude as to why I don’t trust her...

[MissCanuck]

She would leave it at her apartment when she’d come down to my place over the weekend and she’s done this multiple times. Whenever i buy her the plan b pill she’d take it but she’d always have an attitude as to why I don’t trust her...

 

That doesn't even make sense. It's not a trust issue if she actually neglected to take it - what exactly were you supposed to trust? That the heavens would smile on you and not fertilize an egg? I don't follow her line of thinking on that, but it suggests a level of immaturity that is likely factoring into this break-up as well.

[xcal237]

That doesn't even make sense. It's not a trust issue if she actually neglected to take it - what exactly were you supposed to trust? That the heavens would smile on you and not fertilize an egg? I don't follow her line of thinking on that, but it suggests a level of immaturity that is likely factoring into this break-up as well.

 

She always told me that she’s never had a scare before and she knows what she’s doing since she’s been taking the pill for a while now. However there’s days where she’d miss it two days in a row and that seriously scared the crap out of me. Also she says that she’ll double up when she gets back to her apartment and it’ll even out the days missed...

[maew]

The thing is though I was always open about communicating. She however just shuts down. I really think that if we communicated better we could have made the relationship work.

 

It's never just the fault of one person when it comes to communicating. "It takes two to make a thing go right" isn't just a catchy song lyric, it's a mantra for successful relationships.

 

My question is, why do you keep begging her for chances and to get back together if you see so many red flags?

[xcal237]

It's never just the fault of one person when it comes to communicating. "It takes two to make a thing go right" isn't just a catchy song lyric, it's a mantra for successful relationships.

 

My question is, why do you keep begging her for chances and to get back together if you see so many red flags?

 

Cause our issue is mainly communication. It’s not something that could not be fixed and I truly loved her for who she was.

[MissCanuck]

She always told me that she’s never had a scare before and she knows what she’s doing since she’s been taking the pill for a while now. However there’s days where she’d miss it two days in a row and that seriously scared the crap out of me. Also she says that she’ll double up when she gets back to her apartment and it’ll even out the days missed...

 

You were right to be concerned. She is very careless and uninformed about the pill.

 

In any case, I don't think this relationship can or should be saved. It sounds unhealthy and she doesn't have the desire to try anyway.

[xcal237]

You were right to be concerned. She is very careless and uninformed about the pill.

 

In any case, I don't think this relationship can or should be saved. It sounds unhealthy and she doesn't have the desire to try anyway.

 

What do you think of the other issues that we had? Are they valid issues for a breakup?

[Capricorn3]

What do you think of the other issues that we had? Are they valid issues for a breakup?

 

Please re-read your entire original post and the answer is pretty obvious. It was a toxic and unhealthy relationship in many ways and breaking up is the right thing to do (imo). Time to move on with your life and learn from this mess.

[MissCanuck]

What do you think of the other issues that we had? Are they valid issues for a breakup?

 

In my opinion, yes.

 

At the end of the day, though, a dumper doesn't need their partner to approve of a break-up and they don't need to demonstrate the validity of their reasoning. They are free to end it for whatever reason they see fit.

[boltnrun]

Agree with Miss Canuck.

 

And please do not ever again beg and plead with a woman to love you. That is an attraction killer every single time.

[RayRay63]

she needs time

if a person leaves you they should stay that way and not pop in and out

 

And you are still texting her?

...

 

You broke it off. You got an attack of regret and now she has the power and is enjoying wielding it.

 

She told you what she wants.

 

Give it to her.

 

She isn't going to come back if she doesn't miss you.

 

She will only miss you if you absent yourself from her life.

 

At this point, it is as if she dumped you, not the other way around.

 

Instead of begging, go to the gym. She'll get in contact if she wants to, but don't hold your breath.

[Wiseman2]

Condoms would be a much wiser investment for you as well as protecting against STD risks.

Whenever i buy her the plan b pill she’d take it....