JoyceVib Posted February 15, 2020 Share Posted February 15, 2020 Hi lovely people! My ex deleted all of his social media more then a month ago. When I noticed this it felt like a relieve, I couldnt check up on him (didn't need to since his profile was private anyways and I deleted him from my friend list before) and I could focus more on my own healing (he did still check up on me, watching my stories even tho we werent connected anymore). I guess Im posting this since we became official exactly one year ago. Lately the feelings of relieve changed. It feels weird for me to know Im never able to contact him anymore or know how hes doing. I deleted his number a long time ago, and we live far apart, so changes to bump into each other are practically zero. This one is definitely the thoughest one to get over from, theres still a big part of me that cares deeply for him. I dont know what my question is, really felt like posting this here. Hoping for some positive words :). Link to comment
Seraphim Posted February 15, 2020 Share Posted February 15, 2020 It is human to care. I think as much effort as we put into a relationship it takes as much effort to uncouple ourselves from that relationship and every way. It will take time but in time you will heal fully. Link to comment
JoyceVib Posted February 15, 2020 Author Share Posted February 15, 2020 Thank you for your words! Im looking forward to that moment :) Link to comment
SherrySher Posted February 15, 2020 Share Posted February 15, 2020 Eventually you will realize he did you a favour. He was not the right one for you. It will take time to heal and human curiosity will still be there, but it's not helpful. But yes, give it some more time. Link to comment
JoyceVib Posted February 15, 2020 Author Share Posted February 15, 2020 Eventually you will realize he did you a favour. He was not the right one for you. It will take time to heal and human curiosity will still be there, but it's not helpful. But yes, give it some more time. Probably! Sometimes its hard to realize this. At the moment Im dating another guy. We have a great connection and hes really sweet and caring. Yet Im not ready for a relationship with him (which is what he wants). I still miss the connection I had with my ex. Its frustrating in some moments. Thank you for helping! Link to comment
Clio Posted February 15, 2020 Share Posted February 15, 2020 Deleting his social media was for the best for both of you. Social media can do serious damage to one's healing after a break up. What you are feeling is human and a normal part of the ebb and flow of emotions that follow a break up. This too shall pass. As for the new guy, imo you need to uphold your boundaries and make sure you are not rushing nor being rushed to something you are not ready for. Good luck. Link to comment
figureitout23 Posted February 15, 2020 Share Posted February 15, 2020 I think you’re reaching the acceptance stage, it’s going to sting, just work through those feelings naturally, they will pass. When the judge hit her gavel and stated you are now legally divorce, it hit me like a ton of bricks, and I was ok, that final nail in the coffin, that realization, it’s truly over, there’s no turning back, it’s like a quick splash of cold water, but again it passes. Link to comment
catfeeder Posted February 16, 2020 Share Posted February 16, 2020 The first year after the breakup of a LTR is full of minefields and triggers, like anniversaries and holidays and other milestones. Consider this a period of reclaiming these times as your own, and don't worry that a few bumps in the road are setbacks. They only feel that way. Nothing can take your progress away from you. Keep moving forward, one step at a time. The slings and arrows will become less intense and less relevant as YOU become more important. Head high. Link to comment
JoyceVib Posted February 16, 2020 Author Share Posted February 16, 2020 I just wanna thank you all for replying to this threat. I didn't know what I was asking for when I posted this, since I know the only thing that is able to solve this is time and Im the one that has to deal with these feelings. I miss him a lot, and still find it hard to accept that he's gone forever. Still these comments truely made me smile, I dont feel so alone with my feelings now. Thank you so much for being here and taking the time to reply on days like these. One other thing that I struggle with is that Im pretty sure I would take him back if he would send me a message. It makes me feel powerless sometimes because I wish I didn't feel so strong about him in that way and instead choose for myself. And Im not gonna get that message. Link to comment
catfeeder Posted February 16, 2020 Share Posted February 16, 2020 I just wanna thank you all for replying to this threat. I didn't know what I was asking for when I posted this, since I know the only thing that is able to solve this is time and Im the one that has to deal with these feelings. I miss him a lot, and still find it hard to accept that he's gone forever. Still these comments truely made me smile, I dont feel so alone with my feelings now. Thank you so much for being here and taking the time to reply on days like these. One other thing that I struggle with is that Im pretty sure I would take him back if he would send me a message. It makes me feel powerless sometimes because I wish I didn't feel so strong about him in that way and instead choose for myself. And Im not gonna get that message. Why wouldn't you get his message? He's still capable of reaching out to you if he wants to. Link to comment
JoyceVib Posted February 16, 2020 Author Share Posted February 16, 2020 Why wouldn't you get his message? He's still capable of reaching out to you if he wants to. Yes if he wants to! But he doesn't. I blocked his number some months ago and he doesn't have social media anymore. Link to comment
catfeeder Posted February 17, 2020 Share Posted February 17, 2020 Yes if he wants to! But he doesn't. I blocked his number some months ago and he doesn't have social media anymore. Exactly. There's nothing preventing him from re-opening his own social media, and yours is not shut down. So you can relax and trust that if ex ever changes his mind and wants to reach out to you again, he's perfectly capable of doing so. That liberates you from any need to worry that you'd miss a message from him. Meanwhile, you can point your focus toward reaching your own higher ground and building a future for yourself that makes you proud. If you and ex were ever a meant-to-be deal, then life will teach you that without any need to concern yourself about it now. Link to comment
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