Please Read!

[Sylivia]

I need to write and tell my story, because it may help others to understand how child sex abuse can course terrible pains and scars not only to families but to relationships within families in later life.

Years ago when I was two I went to stay at my Aunties, I had a lovely time, but my brother cried a lot so my mum picked him up and took him to London with her.

I don't remember anything about the stay other than being picked up in the car by my Dad.

My Dad was very violent, and he used to strip me and beat me because he had a terrible temper.

It took me twenty eight years to forgive him, which is a long time.

But over time my relationship with my family got better, as we went for councelling and discovered inner child healing, therapy and a great church to support us.

Years later in my forties, I am given a little girl to look after, because that is my job looking after children, and I see her in the cot, she looks so lovely, and then I have a very fierce flashback of being left in my cot screaming and crying.

I rush to the Doctors and they are great, and with councelling, I find out, that I have been sexually abused.

My flashbacks of my Dad stripping me, and beating me, affirm that I had indeed been sexual abused.

So I am convinced that Dad sexually abused me, and nothing can budge me from that thought.

My relationship with my family breaks down, they don't believe me, I get made cut them off, and suffer with memories of horrid sexual abuse for over a year.

I seek another councellor, a lovely lady who helps me recover.

My medical records tell me I had Thrush in my childhood, so now I am convinced that things were not right.

My Mum fights with my Dad, marriage nearly breaks up.

In the end I decide to go to the police to report my Dad's sexual abuse.

And the Social worker with the Police, is excellent, and she helps me with the memories.

With her help I get more help, and then I find that my Dad was not responsible for the sexual abuse, it turns out that it was my Aunties friend at that party all those years ago.

Kids used to stay there and they stopped, something happened and that is why my brother was crying.

When I remembered the whole thing eventually I could see how I could link my Dad being violent and my Aunties Friend's sexual abuse.

Because I was only two I had linked both events, and now by God's grace I have my family back.

It took years and years, and in no way excused Dad's violence, but it showed to me that an innocent man nearly went to prison for something he did not do.

So flashbacks cannot be relied upon, however flashbacks will always have a root.

With the right councelling and great support, you can find out the truth.

I hope this helps others to sort through any trauma.

In this case going to the Police was the best thing I could of done, because without their help I would not be typing this now.

Have a great, great Easter, whatever your faith, I trust that you will overcome in your circumstances too!

[berzerk]

Great post. Very sorry to read that this has happened to you Hopefully all is well.

[zeena]

dear sylvia ,i admire you for being brave,iam still abused by my dad,and i still cant forgive him until now,you have progressed in ur life.thanks for sharing.GOOD LUCK