Where to from here

[rainbow123]

Hi,

 

My partner and I have been together for about 4 years, but we were both married when our relationship started. I was in the process of separating from my ex at the time.

 

Anyway, we both proceeded to get divorced almost 3 years ago and have been together ever since. I have alot of regret that our relationship started the way it did and wish that it had not been the case, but I cannot turn back time and we do love eachother dearly.

 

I have two kids, he has 1, who lives predominantly with his ex wife. This child is mollycodled by both parents and when he stays with us (every second weekend) he is moody and hardly says 2 words to me. I know that his mother has a great influence on him. She is bitter, which I understand, and she uses her son to try and keep some form of control over her ex (my partner). For example, if she needs to pick her child up or a bag of his, my partner and the child have to drive a 100m down the road, as she will not stop in front of our house for 10 seconds for him to hop in the car. I have a major issue with this, as what kind of message are you sending to that child who lives in this home 30% of the time. My partner says he cannot force her to and what big deal is it.

 

I have also organised a weekend away for our family and have now been told by my partner that he still needs to convince his son to come (this child is 12 and would rather stay home and play computer games). He gets given a choice about everything, so much so, that he sometimes cannot make a decision.

 

Now I am not professing to the best parent in the world, and most definitely am far from it, but when I try to have a conversation about this with my partner, he gets completely defensive and I end up looking like the . I sometimes feel like I walk on egg shells around my own house when his son is here. If his son does not want to do something he pulls sulky faces and just sits an stares, does not say a word.

 

I am getting to a point where I need to decide if I can live with this. It aggravates me, I wish it did not, but it does to no end. I am well aware that he is just a 12 year old boy, but his parents treat him like a little prince.

 

The thought of losing my partner breaks my heart but I am getting very frustrated and resentful.

 

As I said, I have tried to sit down and talk about some of the issues with my partner, but he just cannot understand me.