Being accused of infidelity FALSELY... PAINFUL

[Jaymweene]

Hallo... Back 2 yrs we had resolved to use condoms with my partner.. However we stopped after using one, so 2 remained in the pack. My partner kept the 2 in one of her drawers I don't even have an idea the exact one. It's been close to 3 yrs and we live together. Last night she went thro her stuff and she couldn't locate them. Our bedroom is always locked though the keys are accessible to everyone in the house.

It's now been shoved to me that I used these 2 pieces to cheat. I can't convince my partner she is sure I am the one who used them on someone else. My conscience is very clear I have neva touched the condoms neither have I cheated on her. This is down from the bottom of my heart

 

How do I address this its really painful when you are being accused for nothing

[Cope]

"Everyone in the house"? Is there a teenager in there? Or children in general? Also, she could've even misplaced them and forgot. This has happened to me. But I'd suspect someone else since it seems a few people have access.

 

How to address it? Well keep on telling the truth! This sucks, I'm so sorry!

 

Edit: oh and don't tell her what I said that she could've misplaced them. It'll sound like gaslighting.

[Billie28]

Accuse her of eating that chocolate bar from 2 years ago.

Tell her you left if right next to the condoms.

 

But seriously is this the first time she showed this insecurity???

[MissCanuck]

Maybe she is the one who used them, OP, and is attempting to throw you off by blaming you.

 

Has there been a history of mistrust or insecurity here?

[Jaymweene]

There is a kid boy. Though his involvement has been ruled out. It's the worst feeling I feel like committing suicide

[Jaymweene]

Not at all. Really sad

[Billie28]

Maybe she is the one who used them, OP, and is attempting to throw you off by blaming you.

 

Has there been a history of mistrust or insecurity here?

 

If she used them I’d highly doubt that she would alert him to the fact that they are missing?

 

But I agree that it seems unlikely that this would suddenly 2 years later arise some suspicion in her?

There must be trust issues prior to this!?

[Wiseman2]

Why does she suspect you are cheating? There is more to it than any number of reasons the condoms could be misplaced/missing.

Last night she went thro her stuff and she couldn't locate them. Our bedroom is always locked though the keys are accessible to everyone in the house.

[Capricorn3]

This is from three years ago? They were probably thrown out if they weren't being used anymore.

[Billie28]

There is a kid boy. Though his involvement has been ruled out. It's the worst feeling I feel like committing suicide

 

Over a misplaced condom?

Or over repeatedly being accused of something you are not guilty of?

 

That is worth ending your life over?

Hardly! Tell us the full story!?

[ThatwasThen]

There is a kid boy. Though his involvement has been ruled out. It's the worst feeling I feel like committing suicide

How have you ruled out his involvement?

 

BTW: I suspect that three year old condoms would have an expiry date so if someone did use them, their effectiveness will have been affected and someone may end up being pregnant. If its your wife... well then O.O

[MissCanuck]

There is a kid boy. Though his involvement has been ruled out. It's the worst feeling I feel like committing suicide

 

What else is going on between you two?

 

It seems like there must be more to the story. Do you feel like she manufactured this fight so she could break up with you? How have things been between you leading up to this?

[maew]

There is a kid boy. Though his involvement has been ruled out. It's the worst feeling I feel like committing suicide

 

Nothing about what you are saying adds up OP. If your conscience is clear and your relationship was otherwise good then why give even one f&^% about what she is saying?

 

There is clearly more to the story here.

[bluecastle]

It's the worst feeling I feel like committing suicide

 

Clear consciences don't produce suicidal thoughts. Maybe you'll offer some more information, but from what we have it is impossible for me to think your relationship was strong and healthy prior to this moment.

 

Has your girlfriend displayed this sort of insecurity and propensity to lash out in the past? Has she questioned your fidelity prior to this? Have you any reason to suspect that she has been unfaithful?

 

Things go missing in drawers every day, all over the world. Earrings, remotes, pens, passports, tissues, condoms. This is not Hiroshima, but something that happens. That its triggered a nuclear war—in your home, in both of your spirits—is indicative of something much bigger than this incident.

[Jaymweene]

This is a person I have loved. I attest I have never cheated on her since we got married. I feel my investment in this relationship is over coz she doesn't want to talk to me. Actually she has previously grossly threw in some shades on me liking her friends. Something I have never even thought of.

[figureitout23]

There is a kid boy. Though his involvement has been ruled out. It's the worst feeling I feel like committing suicide

 

Really?

 

I can understand feeling anger or frustration that your partner doesn’t trust you, maybe, and this is a huge maybe, pain but suicidal idealations?

 

Dude these condoms are the least of your worries...

 

Please see someone

[bluecastle]

Did you cheat on her before you got married?

 

You're reeling right now, I get it. But you're also adopting a victim mentality that makes offering advice a challenge. From your cryptic posts here it's already pretty clear this relationship is pretty fragile, and that both of you are pretty fragile as individuals. This whole Condom Dilemma is not a real problem, you see? It's a symptom of something else, which is what we're trying to understand.

 

Assuming you want to work things out, you have to figure out what that is.