pray925 Posted June 14, 2015 Share Posted June 14, 2015 So the guy I've been seeing for about 8 weeks left for his friend's bachelor party Wednesday to Vegas. He and a bunch of his friends drove there. He texted me during the trip. The "festivities" they'd planned began Thursday and run thru Sunday. I know they're doing a bunch of stuff aside from the "typical Vegas bar scene" like going to a concert, sightseeing, catching up with old friends. On Thursday I texted him, "have a great time. Looking forward to hearing about it" as we do have a date set for Tuesday when he comes back. He replied something along the lines of, "thanks. Monday is going to be rough haha." Since then, I haven't heard from him. I know he's with friends, but I can't help but feel my little insecurities take over. And that bothers me because at first, I had no problem not talking to him for a few days, but then my imagination took over. He hasn't given me a reason to doubt him, but we are not exclusive yet so he is entitled to do as he pleases. I feel like an update text isn't too hard to do. I'm keeping busy, but still. In the luls of the day, I feel uneasy about it. I'm refraining from texting him. I guess I'll just wait to see what happens... Thoughts? Am I being unreasonable for expecting a small message? Link to comment
1Love1 Posted June 14, 2015 Share Posted June 14, 2015 Since you 2 have already made a date to meet and talk all about it, he's probably just saving it for that day. Seems redundant to discuss it twice. Even if he did check in, it'd most likely be a casual greeting cutting to the chase saying "having a great time" anyway. Not missing much. Just relax and go with the flow. He'll be there soon enough Link to comment
pray925 Posted June 14, 2015 Author Share Posted June 14, 2015 You're right. It's just, I've been to Vegas myself and I know why its called "Sin City". That's why my imagination just went a little wild on me. Link to comment
Hollyj Posted June 14, 2015 Share Posted June 14, 2015 You need to chill! You've been dating two months and are not exclusive. He is enjoying time with his friends. Link to comment
LC8328 Posted June 14, 2015 Share Posted June 14, 2015 Your text to him on Thursday was PERFECT. He's probably enjoying himself right now, maybe even appreciative that the girl he's been seeing isn't acting crazy jealous. You did good. I don't blame you a bit for kind of wondering what's going to happen, but in my opinion let's keep that to ourselves for now. If you're really itching to talk to him you could text a 'just wanted to say hi and hope you're having fun." I don't think you're being unreasonable for expecting a small message, but I think he believes your last message confirmed that you wouldn't be talking to him until he got back. I think that's a good thing because it doesn't give him any kind of pressure. Link to comment
ParisPaulette Posted June 14, 2015 Share Posted June 14, 2015 Well, two months with the new girl versus a weekend with close friends he's known far longer? Nope, he's not going to text you, because right now you aren't on his radar beyond what he said--that he'll brief you when he's back in town. In his mind it's all good, you've communicated and you're chill about it, so he's got no real reason to text you. And no, guys and more than a few gals won't text more than once. I wouldn't if I were in his position. And what goes on in Vegas stays in Vegas since you two aren't exclusive and no promises were made. He'll contact you when he's back in town and has touched down from a weekend with his boys. In the meantime head on out to do something with your friends rather than wonder what he's doing. You should be having your own fun right now instead of worrying what he's up to. Link to comment
annie24 Posted June 14, 2015 Share Posted June 14, 2015 I think your text to him was perfect. now try to go out and have fun with your friends and forget about this guy for the next few days. Link to comment
lilygirl Posted June 14, 2015 Share Posted June 14, 2015 If you are not exclusive I think you need to rein in your expectations. He is in Vegas with friends, no need to be providing update texts... it seems premature at this point. I think you are wise to leave things as they are and enjoy seeing him upon his return. Link to comment
Helpexpressme Posted June 14, 2015 Share Posted June 14, 2015 See how it goes. It only takes 5 seconds to shoot out a text, especially if you like someone. If you hear nothing until he's ready to hook up Tuesday, I'd be a bit annoyed too. Link to comment
SpottiOtti Posted June 14, 2015 Share Posted June 14, 2015 He might be inclined to send a text-brief, but might be thinking, "Nah, I don't want to come off too eager. We aren't even in a relationship yet! I'd better play it cool." You never know . . . Look, grand scheme of things, this is just a days-long blip in the radar of your relationship to come. I don't think you should send him another text. Just see how it goes when he gets back. Link to comment
xlcclkw Posted June 14, 2015 Share Posted June 14, 2015 I went to Vegas while with my ex, I got drunk, spent $50 on gambling, saw some cool stuff and had a laugh with all our friends. It was awesome, then I got home to a girlfriend out to get me thinking I've cheated on her and going out of her way to cause an argument, trying to find out exactly which group of people I was with at all times (was there girls in your group??? blah..). Nothing happened apart from me enjoying myself. I ended up breaking up with her because this was a constant theme to the point I couldn't go out or do anything without her without it causing a lot of friction. Don't be that person Link to comment
Snny Posted June 14, 2015 Share Posted June 14, 2015 I don't see the problem here. He went on a weekend trip with a group of friends. He doesn't need to contact you until the trip is over. Let the guy have some space and fun with his friends. He also doesn't need to update you about the trip. Ever heard the term "what happens in Vegas, stays in Vegas?" Link to comment
pray925 Posted June 15, 2015 Author Share Posted June 15, 2015 So this morning, he sent me a picture of our skyline with the caption, "good to be home." I was busy and couldn't reply for a while, but when I did, I said, "glad you made it back safe. How was it?" He replied, "me too. It was ok . I haven't replied yet because I feel like I don't want to push him for details if he'd beig short. I know he must be tired since he caught the red-eye. Should I leave it be for now? Link to comment
PaintWithLight Posted June 15, 2015 Share Posted June 15, 2015 Wow. Yes, leave it be. Are you seriously expecting to immediately de-brief with you? You seem pretty full on for someone who hasn't even agreed to be exclusive with you yet. What is the rush for details? Are you hoping that he will reassure you that he did nothing "wrong"? Your reactions around his trip seem full of insecurities way beyond the boundaries of such a new dating relationship. Just what is the reall issue for you here? Link to comment
pray925 Posted June 15, 2015 Author Share Posted June 15, 2015 No, no, not at all. I was just being friendly. I didn't expect him to unload everything. I'm not looking for anything, I was just simply inquiring. There was no ulterior motive to my question. Link to comment
mhowe Posted June 15, 2015 Share Posted June 15, 2015 Should I leave it be for now? Leave what be? You asked, he answered. You may hear nothing more about it. Link to comment
PaintWithLight Posted June 15, 2015 Share Posted June 15, 2015 No, no, not at all. I was just being friendly. I didn't expect him to unload everything. I'm not looking for anything, I was just simply inquiring. There was no ulterior motive to my question. So this morning, he sent me a picture of our skyline with the caption, "good to be home." I was busy and couldn't reply for a while, but when I did, I said, "glad you made it back safe. How was it?" He replied, "me too. It was ok . I haven't replied yet because I feel like I don't want to push him for details if he'd beig short. I know he must be tired since he caught the red-eye. Should I leave it be for now? Then I misunderstood your comment. It read like you wanted more details. Link to comment
pray925 Posted June 15, 2015 Author Share Posted June 15, 2015 Actually, my exact words to him were, "on a scale from "awesome" to "awesome" how was it? Haha" Link to comment
pray925 Posted June 15, 2015 Author Share Posted June 15, 2015 OK, so how should I approach this now? I honestly did not mean to come accross as snoopy or insecure. Link to comment
PaintWithLight Posted June 15, 2015 Share Posted June 15, 2015 Actually, my exact words to him were, "on a scale from "awesome" to "awesome" how was it? Haha" You are right to just wait for him to respond now. I agree that you may never hear any additional details. Then what will you do? Link to comment
mhowe Posted June 15, 2015 Share Posted June 15, 2015 Don't bring it up. It isn't any of your concern. If he wants to share, he will. Link to comment
pray925 Posted June 15, 2015 Author Share Posted June 15, 2015 I will not push for details. I had a small revelation yesterday that it does not matter what he does while away. What does matter is that I do sort of regret the question because now I feel I look needy, when in actually I just was curious if he had a good time - no looking for dirt. Have I shot myself in the foot? Link to comment
mhowe Posted June 15, 2015 Share Posted June 15, 2015 It would be odd not to ask how his weekend was....just drop it now. Link to comment
pray925 Posted June 15, 2015 Author Share Posted June 15, 2015 Then I misunderstood your comment. It read like you wanted more details. I understand. I wrote it wrong. What I should have said was, "don't want to push for more conversation (about anything)." Link to comment
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