Getting together in the same city

[hrt]

Hello,

 

I met my significant other two years ago. He was too far away, so it was a long distance relationship. I met him in 2017. When we were online dating, we had talked about how we want to leave our cities as part of our future plans, and to find the best place to live. We were trying to be in the same city, but that didn't work because it was a long distance.

 

Because it was a long distance, he decided to stop everything, and close this relationship as it won't work, which broke my heart deep. We kept our friendship on social media, but we never talk. He likes EVERY picture I post about me, and he even sometimes makes nice comments, but at the same time making sure that he doesn't comment in a way that makes me feel he wants me back, because he doesn't want to break my heart again obviously.

 

Today, I found out that he is moving to a city that's two hours drive away from me, which BY COINCIDENCE, I am also moving to this city beginning of next year.

 

Do you think it's ok for us to unite again? I still love him very much, and I believe he has the same feelings because at the time when he decided to stop everything between us in 2017, he said to me "I want to let you know that I love you, and I care for you, I am only stopping everything because we can't continue long distance"

 

I feel that I can't reach out to him, as I don't know what his life circumstances are right now after two years. Do you think that we may be able to get back together?

 

I'd be happy to get responses.

 

Thank you,

[SophiaG]

If there were no other major issues between you besides the long distance, and as you said both of you are moving on your own terms (instead of being pushed/pressured to move to save the relationship), I don't see why a reconciliation is impossible. However, I would not hold my expectations too high if I were you. Be prepared that he might have changed and no longer resemble the person you knew. He might have a new partner in his life. He might have lost feelings for you. Or you might be able to rekindle the flame but now that the distance is removed once it gets real you may find it's not something you want after all.

 

If you are open and fine with any of these possibilities, why not reach out to him casually or let him know on social media that you are moving to his city. He would want to catch up if he still has feelings for you.

[MirrorKnight]

When you say you "met him" in 2017 online, have you ever actually met him in person? LDRs are very hard, LDRs that do not even have a physical face to face beginning is virtually impossible. Texting is not dating.

 

That said, does he know that you are moving to that city as well?

 

If he does not, maybe just say something like, "hey there, I saw that you're moving to City Name! So am I! I got a job at Workplace etc... It'd be nice to catch up next year! Hope you're doing well!" Try to make it clear that your move was fixed before you knew about his move, otherwise it can come across wrong.

 

Beyond that, just wait and see how he responds. Don't pin your hopes on everything magically working out, especially if you have never met in person before. He could be in a relationship now, he could have changed, he might have never been that into you and just used the long distance thing as an excuse to break up etc etc... Be open minded, let him take the lead, if he does not, move on, he is not interested.

[Wiseman2]

Did he inform you of this? If not, it doesn't sound like he wants to meet up.

I found out that he is moving to a city that's two hours drive away from me, which BY COINCIDENCE, I am also moving to this city beginning of next year. Do you think it's ok for us to unite again?