My ex says she loves me still but gives me confusing signs

[MatthiasL]

Hello, this is the story of me and my ex girlfriend whom I am truly in love with. Short background: we were in a 2 year relationship with many good times but towards the end, I made an action to try to help balance our lives which led to her to breakup with me for a misunderstanding. We broke up about 2 months ago and I was begging and pleading pathetically. She did not tell me directly she loved me during this time but when I saw her, she showed signs but still refused to tell me how she felt. Eventually, my friend told her to block her forever without my permission after my broken heart made it hard to text her. She initially agreed because she thought it would help me move on. However four days after the blocking, she sends me a paragraph that elaborates her recent dreams of not wanting to see me with another girl and finally told me how she felt about me. She says she very much still loves me and considers getting back together but I told her I want to make the steps to fix a relationship first in which she agrees we should do before anything happens. However, the signs have been rather confusing. She texts me daily but now says she’s changed and she is not able to text me as often. She says it’s because she doesn’t like to text anymore because she gets annoyed by people now in general but says I love you to me. The sketchy part is she recently went ice skating with a guy after confessing her feelings of me to me. She says it’s just a friend that told her he never went ice skating and insisted it was not a date when I asked her. A lot of guys have recently been trying to hit on her but she says I am still her love. I’m in a confused state right now. I’m deeply in love with her and want to get back with her in the correct way, but I’m not sure if she is understanding. ( she has told me everything without me asking her )

[Billie28]

Why did you break up?

[MatthiasL]

There was a point during the school year I realized she was forgetting to focus on her school work. I thought it would be the best decision to help her by giving her more alone time and text her less for a month in order to let her develop better working habits. It hurt me everyday not to be able to call her. She eventually broke up with me because I wasn’t talking to her enough. I told her my intents and apologized completely for not telling her about why I was doing what I was doing.

[Billie28]

Sorry but you can’t decide what’s best for a partner and proceed to act in a way that YOU think is best without even a discussion!

That is I’m sorry a bit controlling and bizarre way of thinking.

 

You clearly thought that you were the reason she is not focusing on her studies.

And why would a quick call from you actually detract from her studies?

Why would you not suggest you study together?

 

When I was at uni , my then bf told me that a couple of his friends had seen me on my way home from partying when they had been returning from the library at midnight several times lol. And they were apparently “concerned” I wasn’t studying enough a month prior to final exams . I found that hilarious!! I still do 20 years later!

I partied as much as I could and I studied enough. Best days ever!

 

I got honours , not that any employer cares. I knew what I was capable of and it was none of anyone else’s business.

I just feel a bit sorry that those people wasted all their time studying when they could have been out having a great time.

 

You can’t decide what’s best for her, you can of course discuss your concerns.

 

It’s probably too late , but at least a lesson learnt?

[Hollyj]

Sorry but you can’t decide what’s best for a partner and proceed to act in a way that YOU think is best without even a discussion!

That is I’m sorry a bit controlling and bizarre way of thinking.

 

You clearly thought that you were the reason she is not focusing on her studies.

And why would a quick call from you actually detract from her studies?

Why would you not suggest you study together?

 

When I was at uni , my then bf told me that a couple of his friends had seen me on my way home from partying when they had been returning from the library at midnight several times lol. And they were apparently “concerned” I wasn’t studying enough a month prior to final exams . I found that hilarious!! I still do 20 years later!

I partied as much as I could and I studied enough. Best days ever!

 

I got honours , not that any employer cares. I knew what I was capable of and it was none of anyone else’s business.

I just feel a bit sorry that those people wasted all their time studying when they could have been out having a great time.

 

You can’t decide what’s best for her, you can of course discuss your concerns.

 

It’s probably too late , but at least a lesson learnt?

 

I agree......

[Hollyj]

You should not be chatting , unless she wants a reconciliation. You are going to end up in the friend zone. She needs to miss you. Tell her only to contact if she wants to get back together.

 

Do not play parent to your gfs, discuss things together.

[ninjabib]

Yes she may have feelings for you still but at the moment she's keeping you hanging on while she sees other guys. If it doesn't work out with one of them she may come back if that's what you really want. Cut all contact until she makes a final decision.

 

In future be more open and discuss things to stop these kind of breakups happening.

[Carus]

Yes she may have feelings for you still but at the moment she's keeping you hanging on while she sees other guys.

She is weaning off you.....Painful stuff*

 

Carus*