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Do I ask too much?


Katharina

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Personally asking for specific presents at such an early stage of a relationship is too much, IMO, unless he has asked you specifically what you would like. If you dropped hints, but you should not set your expectations that he will get it for you.

 

Early in a relationship it is a show of feelings as he doesn't know you as indepth as say after 3 years.

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That's quite a sense of entitlement there. "Only" flowers would be plenty, even assuming he goes that far. Early on, the most I'd expect is a "Happy Birthday," maybe a dinner. That's all assuming he's got any real reason to remember your exact birthday with only knowing you for a few months.

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I would not even if he asks - depending on how expensive it is. Also it sounds like something a girlfriend or family member would get you as a present not a boyfriend. At 3 months I think he should acknowledge your birthday and perhaps give you a card or something small.

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Personally asking for specific presents at such an early stage of a relationship is too much, IMO, unless he has asked you specifically what you would like. If you dropped hints, but you should not set your expectations that he will get it for you.

 

Early in a relationship it is a show of feelings as he doesn't know you as indepth as say after 3 years.

 

But what is the difference between 3 months relationship and 3 years relationship? Isn't it love in both variants?

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But what is the difference between 3 months relationship and 3 years relationship? Isn't it love in both variants?
I can't take this seriously when it's in the context of whether or not you should ask for a curling iron.

 

Lady, take some time and really soak in the responses you've gotten. You're being absurd.

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That's quite a sense of entitlement there. "Only" flowers would be plenty, even assuming he goes that far. Early on, the most I'd expect is a "Happy Birthday," maybe a dinner. That's all assuming he's got any real reason to remember your exact birthday with only knowing you for a few months.

 

Hmmm...I didn't expect such harsh reaction. I didn't mean "only" in bad sense. I was always sure that it's quite normal for the guy to present the flowers.

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I think as it is this early on , I would just let him set the pace for himself and buy what he feels . If he asks you what you would like , I don't think I would mention the curling irons simply based on cost .

 

I agree. I didn't want to say him,"Buy this and that". But I am wating, he can ask, what I would like to get.

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Well considering most relationships fail after 3 months...

 

Yes there's a difference.

 

I know a lot examples, when people got married just after one month of relationship. And they are still happy together. That's why it seems to me it's ok, when people are very close as they are close on the third year of relationship.

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I agree. I didn't want to say him,"Buy this and that". But I am wating, he can ask, what I would like to get.

 

I think some may have got the impression you are going to tell him that you want that rather then wait to be asked , don't worry , the written word can be very misleading in forums .

 

Myself personally , at 3 months I would still feel a but icky at asking for something that could be expensive ...but if you feel it is ok in your relationship then you go for it .

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I think some may have got the impression you are going to tell him that you want that rather then wait to be asked , don't worry , the written word can be very misleading in forums .

 

Myself personally , at 3 months I would still feel a but icky at asking for something that could be expensive ...but if you feel it is ok in your relationship then you go for it .

 

Thanks for understanding.

But I began to think that maybe I was really wrong.

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Thanks for understanding.

But I began to think that maybe I was really wrong.

 

There is no right or wrong on this.

 

My gf just had her birthday. It was around the three month mark. I asked her what she would like. She didn't want anything more than a nice dinner. If she would have asked for a curling iron, I would have bought it for her. I don't understand all the fuss.

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I don't understand all the fuss.

 

I suppose it's because she's expecting him to acknowledge her birthday.

 

But, I'm kind of siding with her. No one here knows the level that their relationship is at. Sure, it's only been 3 months but all relationships are different and progress differently.

 

With that said, I wouldn't just come out and tell him what to buy me for my birthday, no matter the length of the relationship. I might try some hints about my birthday coming up and see if he asks what I would like (I'm one to say I don't need anything, or say he doesn't have to get me anything), but that's as far as I would go.

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But what is the difference between 3 months relationship and 3 years relationship? Isn't it love in both variants?

The difference between 3 months and 3 years is 33 months. So it is the difference of 11 times more than your value. That is a lot.

 

The difference between a dinner and a curling iron is also significant. That is the difference between a commonly given thing, frequently given on the FIRST time you have a date, to a very specific gift that is not commonly given.

 

I spent over $120 on my wife's curling iron. That is not only an expensive gift, but it is a much more tangible one that isn't shared between the two of you. A dinner together is a gift that is mutually beneficial.

 

I will have to echo everyone else's comments.

 

Too much for a 3 month relationship.

 

And if we were to look at generalities I don't have much faith in a relationship that moved to marriage after a month. There might be exceptions, but chances are you aren't one of them.

 

Three months is such a short time, you really have no idea about a person's true colors. I am sure some relationships work fine that way, but I have seen a lot more horror stories than happy endings.

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I suppose it's because she's expecting him to acknowledge her birthday.

 

But, I'm kind of siding with her. No one here knows the level that their relationship is at. Sure, it's only been 3 months but all relationships are different and progress differently.

 

With that said, I wouldn't just come out and tell him what to buy me for my birthday, no matter the length of the relationship. I might try some hints about my birthday coming up and see if he asks what I would like (I'm one to say I don't need anything, or say he doesn't have to get me anything), but that's as far as I would go.

 

Thanks for your reply. Probably, I had to give more detaiols about my relationship.

Though, I don't agree with most here. I am sure that flowers are quite normal even on first date. And some people here even doubt, whether to present flowers on Bday.

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Do you celebrate one of the December holidays? If so what do you plan on getting him?

 

Yes, we will be on Christmas together. I just wanted to ask him,"What would you like to get?"

But I know he is not satisfied with quality of pictures on his iPhone, so I'm thinking to present Olloclip lense.

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