misscitygrl

sweety, u have a mom that loves u, a girl who loves u and a sister who not only loves you but have to be strong for..... Does she (ur sis) live with u, how old is she, is there a reason why u can't live with ur mom.... I dont know what the laws are in the uk.... I would really love to know more about u and ur situation.... maybe i can try to look for help... don't leave ur sis and break ur mom's heart... Maybe u should turn that anger into something more positive... why dont u try working out... weights.... u r at an difficult stage... one of my bestest friend in the whole world and now my boyfriend, at ur age was also picked on ..once this kid send him to the hospital... he was very skinny and relatively short .... but in the matter of a yr he grew...... now he is now 6'3", he is currentlya proby in the FDNY (fire) academy, first on the list and is as handsome as ben affleck.... He shut everyone up.... His family life was rough as well... his dad had a bad temper... so much so that there was a point where him and his mom even had to run away all of a sudden.... I have so many questions... I really want to help u ..... Does ur dad know ur step-mom beats u and ur sis, that kids bullies u? Why does ur stepmom beat u? What does ur mom say..does she know? is there a child protection agency in ur country...? Look I'm really concern for u and i don't know too much about ur situation only what u've shared.. i have taken the liberty to do a google search online for "uk child protection agency" doh.gov.uk/acpc/local.htm or doh.gov.uk/acpc/contact_details_june2003.doc MANCHESTER Mr Shaun McLurg Assistant Director, Children & Families Q.A.P.M. Unit, 3rd Floor Victoria Mill, 10 Lower Vickers Streetmiles Platting Manchester, M40 7EL 0161 2343 803 Email eliskaschofield@notes.manchester.gov.uk C/o Mrs Eliska Schofield Administration Manager Fax 0161 2343 980 Out of Hours 0161 2558 250 ----------------------------------------------------------------------------------- hope this helps.... once again be strong... feel free to share with anything with us... Take care...

Okay ... well don't worry too much about it ... it will happen sooner or later.... i'm sure ur pretty...don't take it personal .... maybe guys find u intimidating or hard to approach......are u shy? .... i had a bf at 14 but it lasted like 2 weeks...... i really didn't have one till 16 and it lasted for 2 yrs.... so i don't think it a big deal ..... when it's suppose to happen it will and trust me it WILL.. there will be a point where u'll be saying no left and right.... First u need to have standards... i know lots of my friends had bf but they went out with anyone who came there way..... u don't want that... cause their relationships never worked out...they always had boy trouble...it was a mess... PS: when ur down read some posts in the break-up section of this site and ask urself do u really want to be in a relationship.... sometimes i wish i was in ur shoes....... so moral of the post ... be urself ...ut will happen .... if u like a particular guy ... ask him a question.... like do u have pen.. yesterday's notes...anything... have something to say.. never let the convo go dead.... feel better ...good luck

well iam very sorry but i'm going to say it.... u shouldn't do it... it obvious u have people that care about u ...sis, mom.... ur not alone... so there is no reason good enough even if it feels so right right now... ....and even if u get fustrated at a random stranger like me ... at least know i cared enough to let u know whatever it is..it's not worth it....be strong for them.... if u need to talk ....pm me here or at: misscitygrl @aol Please don't do it...

what's making u so sad.... to the pt of emotional eating binges ...do u feel lonely, concern about something? u seem to have a good self esteem...so feeling unpretty shouldn't be an issue? I think u should find teh root of ur prob... and realize that food is not goingt o help u with it... i have heard that pp sometimes bing because its their way of feeling they are in control of something in an ever changing environment... i dont know if this makes sense. for now i suggest not keeping junk food around in ur house (donuts, soda, cookies, ice cream etc.............. i know that when i broke up with my 1st bf, my bestfriend and i walked in my house.... i asked her if she wanted ice cream she said yes so i served her and continued to eat rt froom the box). The food that u do keep..make it so that it takes time to prepare...that way u kinda have to work in order to eat... keep busy..go out....volunteer in ur neighborhood... this not only keeps u busy but makes u feel good inside... but definietly try to get to teh root of ur prob.... ur sadness....... what drives u to bing... question: does binging make u feel better? Good luck ... be strong .... u r not alone... i've had issues with sadness and food and a close friend of mine ..told me a yr ago that she is bulimic.... PS: If u find something that works for u (control emotional binges).... do share ... i have yet to find a way to get my friend to stop ..she too has no money for therapy... it has gotten to the pt where her voice has changed... she has a deep voice now..... and all her family and her close friends know... but we don't know what we can do ....

I don't know extactly why u are so sad... r u sad just out of nothing or is there something troubling u ...like family, bf, school etc.... try to figure out what it is that troubles u .... what r u options and consequences... and try to put urself in ur best friend's shoes ...what would u recommend she do in ur situation... its kinda hard to give advice because i have no clue on why u r so sad... something is definitely bothering u ...to the pt of discomfort and u should try to get to the root of the prob ...... if u need someone to get some things of ur chest or just to chit chat u can pm me... sometimes all we need is to know that other pp care and that we're not alone..... so i commend u for finding this site... in ur troubled state u were proactive enough to reach out.... so thats a step in the rt direction...... Hope u feel better....

if u still have some sort of feelings for her...which obviuosly u still do since the fact that she has a bf bothers u ... i dont hink u shouldn't w/b or call her. Ur quote is very true but u r not applying it correctly.... u have to LET THEM GO..... which means u can't be talking to her ...if she wants to get back (if she is the one who left)...she is the one who has to come back ......and in the email she said nothing about getting back together ....and just by the fact that she has a bf right now .... u should just move on... If she really wants to be with u in the future...she needs to get rid of BF 1st and then contact u .... don't be afraid not to w/b.... the whole purpose of letting that special person go is to give thema chance to miss u ... and u dont let that happen if they knwo u will conatct them sooner or later...... if she really wants to get in conact with u she will find a way.... cell, house #, house addy, mutual friends, email etc.... For now keep busy and leave her alone with her BF ....... remember she made a decision to be with him ...and so she can't have her cake and eat it too ..... PS: I am sorry if this sounds a bit harsh but i know from guy friends of mine many grls who like to move on to new relationships but keep their ex's at bay ..... just in case things don't work out w/ their current bf... taking advantage of the fact that they know their ex still has a thing for them..... how do they know?.... just by what ur doing .... calling them every one in a while...... i'm not saying this is totally ur case but beware and dont fall for it ...grls can be sneakier than guys give them credit for..... even the nice lil ones who wouldn't hurt a fly.... Good luck

I feel bad that ur hurt but iam glad that u finally realize what an abusive relationship u were in.... thats something that women in ur situation have a diffiult time admitting.... and ur lucky that ur relationship was long distance for a while... imagine him abusive like that in person ..... Him moving on so quicly shows that he is not worth ur time or anybody elses for that matter and ur lucky that ur rid of him.......abusive relationships dont lead into anything positive.... so even though u wil definitely miss the good times and his good points... u must be strong and know that u will get thru this... it takes time... dont expect a speedy recovery ...... u feel unloved and lonely but its all completely natural because a big part of ur life suddenly is not going to be around...but think that's for the better and eventually ...hoepfully sooner than later.... u will meet someone truly special who will be well worth u going thru this right now...because this makes u free to meet and be with MR RIGHT... take this as a blessing in diguise.... i don't know if ur religious or not but if u r ...sometimes the BIG GUY above works in mysterious ways.... Keep ur head up, live, feel, learn and come out stronger..... u will survive ..even though sometimes it seems like things are hopeless there's always light at the end of te tunnel..u just have to get there..... Good luck ... feel better... if u need to talk...let things out pm me... I know how painful breakups can be.....

it is really hard for me to give u advice because i don't really know the whole situtaion. All i know is that being overly dependent on anyone is not good ..... I don;'t like the fact that he has made u cried... friends dont do that but then again i dont know what the fight was about... I have a feeling that u may kind alike him... more then a friend...even though he is gay... if thats the case dont feel bad... i knwo some grls who fall for gay guys thinking they can chage them.... gay guys are so cool caus etey thinking alot like we do and they seem to understand us so well .and they have the added feature of being a guy ....so they can kinda give us both perspectives... i( know, i have a very good gay friend).... anyways .... so i dont know how serious the issue is ...but if its not too bad ...dont shun him out of ur life... maybe things can't go back to the way they were ...but sometimes thats part of life.... live and learn and move on ..... then again m,abe all u guys need is some time apart.... to break the clinging factor before it become more serious..... see it was an oppotunity to grow and be independent... i sure if u need him he wil be there for u.... regardingu being able to trust another well ... trust is earned so mayeb its good that u dont open up ur whole life story to just anyone.. i'm the same way .... but i find what works for me is i tell a little bit to different pp who are not all part of the same "click" that way they just can't get together and spill all they know about me .............. sometimes its good to go thru some alone time... its kinda painful but in the end ... when we get thru it we come out much stronger and with a greater appreciation of our strengths and our own company....... be strong ... good luck.. hope everything works out for u

ok ... some grls like to play hard to get ...some just like the attention etc... if u see her frequently is there any way that u can avoid seeing her as much ... don't cut communication completely ...she might think u r not interest at all... but do limit the calls... to maybe one every other day..... don't have a routine...call her at a certain time .... change it up.... sound like u have places to go and pp to see without sounding conceited... (thats the tricky part), act like ur doing great, life couldn't be better .... make her curious and want to see what is so exciting about ur life... ie: call and say ...hey i just call to say whats up ...(or hello) ... i was just ...bla bla and bla bla reminded me of you. (Chit chat for a bit and then say) Okay well anyways let me let u go cause I'm meeting up with some FRIENDS (don't go into too much detail ...keep it mysterious) ... take care sweety ... ciao (use the word friends... not "the guys" or "female friends" ...keeps it open and her wondering..... if u mention other grls she might think ur a player and thats not what u want ...remember u might want to date her so u dont want trust issues to pop up later on) In a convo like this u were friendly , respectful, showed u have a life outside of her... and that there is some interest but not enough to stop u from what u have to do ... if she doesn't respond .... and if she is taking the not calling too far ..... confront her nicely ex: I like talking with u cause i think u r a cool person but i get this feeling like u dont want to be my friend cause u never call me .... if thats the case let me know cause i don't want to feel like iam bothering anyone.... keep it short ...simple... concern but friendly .....stress it without stressing it ... act like it's something u noticed but ur not totally stressing .... like ur life won't end if she doesn't call u ...... If she likes u ...she wil change her ways... esp after u confront her ... (she might be going thru a few busy days....) If she does change her ways ..... SLOWLY go back to the way u were at the beginning ...cause she might be calling ur bluff... I feel kinda bad giving u this advice... cause u'll be playing a game ....but heck ... if she's playing it ... u might as well know how to counter-act. PS: there is always the option of just moving on to someone else.... Good luck

I think you know what u need to do .... but just in case.... it is imperative that you cut all communication with her.... I know it's going to be very very hard and there are going to be days where nopthig will feel better than to IM her .... but trust me unless u shut her out of ur life... until u have fully moved on and have no more feelings for her.... a hello here and there is going to make u feel worst and harder for u to move on... I suggest blocking her from ur buddy list or changing ur screen name until u are over her... and when the fact that she has another person in her life doesn't bother u. Only time can heal wounds.... About ur work ... well if u got a great offer go about ur business and try not to think about her ......... date meet pp...eventually (even though u might not think so now) u will find someone who wil make u happy. As for now ...take it easy and be strong Good luck and congrats on the new job!

I feel absolutely horrible for you right now. I know that u really really want to know but i suggest that u try to suppress ur feelings and make sure u know for sure for sure.... to the pt where he can't deny it. I think that u can confront him all u want tonite but i seriuosly doubt that he will admit to anything... esp if he knows u dont have proof....and u will look like u are exaggerating, crazy, unreasonablely jealous wife etc.... he will turn things on u. The camara thing from a previosu post is not a bad idea. (i honestly thik she gave u great advice). Right now u have circumstancial evidence but nothing concrete because u didn't go in, u don't have a witness and u dont have pictures... be smart about things.... try to calm down ...and hold it in for a lil bit longer.... confronting him WITHOUT CONCRETE evidence (which he won't be able to deny or make an excuse for) won't help u at all... in fact it will work aganist u... since this will alert him to the fact that u r on to him and it will be harder for u to catch him in somethig compromising ....... Be strong keep monitoring him like the previous post said.... the probabilities of him admitting anything are slim to none.... men will only admit when they know they are caught..no way out..... Let me knwo how things turn out..... situations like this get me soooooooo mad.... Goodluck ...be strong and smarter about things... u will come out on top

Don't be a bad asss... that won't get u anywhere... just don't highlight ur gg qualities...she will figure it out herself.. and grls do like gg but u guys can be a little intimidating, we don't want to be the bad guy if things don't work out... we are not used to that role... know what i mean? I know it all sounds ridiculous...i'm the 1st to admit it... (it's like when pretty grls complain that no one asks them out... it sounds absurd but some men find them initimating) This is not to say that there aren't grls who wouldn't go absolutely crazy with ur qualities... and to be honest i think ur best bet is to be patient, that special person is bound to come along sooner or later..... Stay positive

See maybe thats the prob... guys come and go but a friend is 4ever... and girls might be taking that to seriously...out of hand it is like we are afraid to hurt a good guy .....cause how can u hurt a good guy ... that would go aganist very single one of our principles... since we know a good guy is hard to find. So we rather not go there and be responsible for hurting u if things don't work out. It's just too much pressure to date u ... i suggest being a good guy in disguise. I know being a good guy (gg from now on) is a great thing but maybe u should keep that to urself; on the down low. Don't tell no one... just meet a girl and be urself but don't tell them stories where ur gg persona might be apparent.... how u treat her will be more than enough to let them know that ur a guy worth getting to know. Be a regular guy...remember we dont want a superman, do no wrong man... we, like u, want a REGULAR person... of course with gg qualities... try to find a balance. example: GG says: "yeah so my friend Maria, great girl, called me yesterday because she brok eup with her bf. I stood uo with her till 4am trying to make her feel better. I don' know why some guys are so ......... i could never do that to someone. I'm goingt o give her a call when i get home to make sure she is ok" GIRLl THINKS: OMG he is so sweet, wow .... i wish i had a FRIEND like that. None of my guy friends would stay up so late with me to discuss my love life. Wow he is really a GOOD GUY. What if i date him and it doesn't work out? what if it's my fault ... i would be out of a great potential friend and out of a bf.... i can't hurt him (a gg).. i wouldn't be able to forgive myself...if it doesnt work out how do i break it off?...i betternot start anything...too bad he is cute too. ..... OH he is going to call her to check up on her... wow ..i need a friend like that ...so understanding... since he is guy, maybe he can give me advice on how to deal with men... it would be good to have him on my corner.... I think i'm gonna keep him as a FRIEND. Yup thats what i'll do. So now that i have animated what might be teh thought process of a grl ... coming from a grl perspective... see what u can do to change that and trust me... becominga jerk ..will not help ur cause.... because u might have more relationship but none will last very long. Also u have to know that once a grl sees a potential great friend it's hard to see u as a potential bf... only once we are sure the gains of going-out out weight the risk of hurting u and guilt that will follow if it happens wil we attempt to give u a chance. By that time we are very into u. its sounds weird i know and i'm sure there is more to it but this is a major reason my gf's and I have come up with to explain this phenomenon Good luck ... keep looking and u shall find.... good things are worth waiting for.....

Use her positive influence and continue to succeed. I suggest asking her out for lunch or dinner...after work and expressing ur feelings honestly to her... tell her how she has postively influenced u and how u've changed... pt it out ...give details. sidenote (i used to like this guy but i thought he was a player so i refused to go out with him... he kept telling me he liked me and i thought it was all part of his game... one day he came to class dressed very nice ...strange because this was a ceramic class...i thought nothing of it ....until he pointed it out ... that he had gotten all dressed up for me... because he though i didn't like him because of his laid back, relax attire... and thought that i would like a more sophisticated look... well i was so touched and started taking him more seriously from then on). pt is: sometimes u have to make be specific, and pt things out If she is set on being friends because "it's not there for her" than sadly there is nothing u can do. Try to move on. U will never find another "her" and u have to learn to accept that. What u will find is someone not better nor worst.. just different. Learn to appreciate that... just like at one pt u learned to appreciate ur co-worker for who she was. I hope all works out with the girl u want but if it doesn't, just remember that it's not good to date pp from work .... Good luck

moving on is a good idea..but coming from the perspective of the new girl .... make sure u break up with ur gel 1st and make sure that u mean it and it's final. At one pt I was the "new grl" but i didn't know it. I was not aware that the ex was still in the picture and my bf cheated on me early in the relationship. I found out months later and it caused SERIOUS damage that we are still dealing with almost 2 1/2 yrs later. Trust is something easily lost and hard to get back. My point is ... if ur ex hurt u ...that doesn't mean u have the rt to hurt the new innocent grl. If u r not over ur ex...take ur time b4 u move on and end up going back to ur ex and hurting the new grl. I wish u luck ... don't let a bad relationship ruin ur ways...