JustAnotherFriend
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Hi Houssam, Pardon me for the late response. Have been slightly held up recently. I think you and your wife both need some time away. She seems extremely confused about what she wants and to make the right decision she has to be by herself. While she is away , her ideas wont be influenced by anything. Hence if she decides to stay with / without you either way it will be a level headed decision. Good luck! JustAnotherFriend
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Jonathan, I have felt the exact same thing and I know how much it hurts. I was filled with rage those days when I got to know how casually my ex had moved on with someone else while I didnt even want to live anymore because of him. Now after so many years when I think of it , it seems like the best thing that could have happened. Isnt it great that you are no longer with the kind of person who could hurt you so deeply, who cant even be loyal and honest with you? So whatever pain it is that you are going through right now is definitely for the better. Regards, JustAnotherFriend
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Hi Fisiking, I'd say you dont need to hear it from her that she likes you. If she does you can notice it. Does she look happy when you ask her out or does it take her long to make some time for you? Does she seem sad when the time with you comes to and end, or does it look like she would want to be with you longer? Most people even blush and avoid making eye-contact when they see the person they are crazy about. The signs are either there or not there....really dont need to spell it out. Just one important thing. Dont sound very eager to see her. Wait for a while before asking her out again. Good luck! JustAnotherFriend
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Hi Houssam, I am very sorry to hear about the state in which your marriage is. If your wife doesnt miss you when she is away and cries cause she is coming back to you then I dont think she wants to be in this marriage. She probably doesnt know how to say it without hurting you. I am sympathetic towards the children but they also dont want to stay with parents who are not in love. I think you both should stay away for a while and see if life is actually better without one another. if either of you feels the relationship is a burden then discontinue cause if you do this only for the sake of the kids, I dont think it will work out as a long term solution. Take care, JustAnotherFriend
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see theres this girl that wont listen to me... but y?
JustAnotherFriend replied to shorty's topic in Friendship and Friends
Shorty, its important to not sound that desparate when you mail her. It could put her off. If she comes back to you on her own , it stays. If she returns just because you begged her too , it wont last so please leave the mails till you get a response. Take care.... -
Dear Hubber, Your Girlfriend is justified in the way she feels. I can understand that you want to know about your ex just to make sure you were right coz at one point in life I used to do the same. Eventually I realised what a waste of time it was. We should trust our decisions more than this. Lets say for a second , you found out that you were wrong in leaving your ex. So now wouldnt that make your life more complicated? I would say, stop following your past and focus on your current relationship. That will give you a better chance to happiness tomorrow. Regards, JustAnotherFriend
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Is it over, or is he really thinking about it?
JustAnotherFriend replied to resipsa's topic in Getting Back Together
Hi, I perfectly understand your situation. A few years ago when I had a heart break it was just 25 days to my final exams out of which I spent 15 days crying. I was also sure to flunk but thats really not what happened. Do you know why? Because of something that dawned on me.... If he really loved me would he treat me like this? While breaking off he kept saying gimme time we might get back togther but what on earth is that supposed to mean? After all the time that I have spent being your girlfriend more time required to know whether you love me or not? Thats all nonsense! he knows by the time he decides I could have moved on and that probably doesnt matter coz *I* dont matter enough! Coming to your context which is very similar - The person you are waiting over doesnt care if you are around later or not, so you have to also care more about yourself than him. If you flunk your exam you will be the eventual loser, not him ! He knows very well that you are upset, crying , unable to concentrate and exams are coming up. Cant he add all this to know that his postponing the decision is making you miserable? Put your foot down and put an end to this situation. Dont think about what he is going to decide but make a decision yourself whether you really want to be with such a person, or not. Either way care more for yourself. Study well for your exams, stop asking him what he has decided and surprise him by not being too eager to know. Remember that you shouldnt let your self-respect down for anyone. Take care. Good luck for your exams! -JustAnotherfriend -
My girlfriend has problems with her parents.
JustAnotherFriend replied to lordfreespace's topic in Relationship Advice
Hi, I am sorry to hear about the way girlfriend is getting treated. It seems like something happened recently to cause this change. She might need to see a therapist . If that doesnt help, then your girlfriend probably needs to get away. She can go to boarding school. Its not a bad idea to stay at a friend's place either. You have havent mentioned her dad. May be he can help with this. -JustAnotherFriend -
i can't get over him
JustAnotherFriend replied to babe_ee1607306439's topic in Healing After Break Up or Divorce
Babe_ee, I sincerely appreciate the fact that you have so honestly told us about your biggest weakness, flirting. You have crossed one hurdle already by just identifying the problem. Now all you have to do is correct this habit and ask your ex for another chance. It wont be tough to get an opportunity since you talk to him everyday. If none of this works, I am sorry to say that you might have to move on. In that case it'll be better you dont talk everyday to him either. Tell him that you have to decide things one way or the other. Good luck ! -JustAnotherFriend -
Hi , From all you have said it doesnt seem like you love your boyfriend anymore. I think you should tell him that. Its going to be very painful for him as well as you, but its better than lying to him now, tagging this along for longer and telling him some time else. Also, after breaking off please dont start going around with this other person immediately coz it'll terribly hurt the guy you have just dumped. Besides you should take adequate time before going for this guy you said you are in love with, to make sure that this time the relationship is for keeps. Honestly talk to your boyfriend, give it some time and then see what next. Good luck! -JustAnotherFriend
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I am happy for you that he still loves you but the rest of the story is disappointing. As you have yourself realised , its not right to get intimate with him behind his girlfriend's back. There are only 2 ways out of this : 1 ) Tell his girlfriend everything honestly. The fact that you both are still in love and get married to him again. I am sure its going to be very painful for her but its better than having all this going on behind her back. Once she knows about the situation you can all come to a conclusion as to how her baby can continue to have his father around. 2 ) Give up whatever you have with your ex and dont cross ways again. If you find the latter tough, then go ahead and talk to his girlfriend but either way please stop doing whatever you are doing right now. The problem here is that when he cheats on her by sneaking out with you, then your cofidence in him will go down. Tomorrow even if he is with you , you will suspect him of being with someone else. So in best interest of all you must bring this matter in the open or quit from their lives.
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Ok Lou, lemme try to give you a way out of this. Stay away from her for a while. Get in touch with her once in a way and dont act romantic at all. In fact, make it obvious that you are sorry for the way you behaved. Show due regard to the fact that she has a boy friend. Now even if she gets dumped, only be supportive and dont come on too strong (Girls never like it!) She knows very well that you have feelings for her. Some day she might realise that inspite of that you are being supportive of whatever she wants (and are not even making moves). This will definitely make her like you more. She will even forgive what happened in the elevator. Chances are she will opt for you. Only thing is you will have to be patient all through this. Good luck !
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Dear Whitci, The solution I can provide to your problem will be tough on you but is in your best interest. After reading all that you have to say, I think you should leave this guy. He is not in love with you. I'm very sorry if that hurt but the sooner you accept it the better it will be for you. Please realise that a person who lies and is secretive about his personal life can not be trusted with a life-time relationship. You need to lose contact with this person. Please try meeting other people, there will definitely be someone out there who can make you very happy. When two people have stayed together for a very long time, they get used to each other. That is sometimes misunderstood for love when actually its just a matter of habit. Please try and forget about this guy. Get yourself busy with some courses, other people and activities which take all your time so that you dont get too much time to think about him. Initially you'll find it difficult but finally you will be glad you broke off as some time later in life someone real special will come along, who loves you in return for your love and is probably more trust worthy. Take care.
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Hi KingKevin, You are right, she needs help. You might need to enroll her into therapy or something. if she was more in control of herself you could try telling her that you both cant continue but considering the fact that she is hurting herself with things, I think you should try to get her to see a doctor, help her improve a bit and then leave when things are in good shape. If you leave her right away she might really end up harming herself and you'll never be able to forgive yourself. So in best interest of all, get her help and then quit.
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Moving on, but still holding on.....
JustAnotherFriend replied to Tues28's topic in Healing After Break Up or Divorce
Dear Tues28, I have been in your situation. Loving someone very deeply & not getting the same in return is indeed very painful. I also used to wish that something would happen and I would get my love back, it never happened. Today I have survived that whole episode and am glad that things broke off then (although it was very painful). What I am trying to say is that, your leaving him seems like the best thing to do. You are a person who can give a lot to a relationship but it seems highly unlikely that he can return the same. Please dont think that he doesnt want to become ok coz you are not worth it. Its not you that is the problem. He probably finds it difficult to stay focussed in a relationship for too long. With this attitude it will be very difficult for the two of you in future also. So its better to leave things behind. I am sure something better is in store for you and although today you feel you can live without this guy I am sure someday you will be much better off. Please move on. Life has so much better in store for you.