leda

Listen. You betrayed me. You hurt me profoundly. You jilted me. You ignored me. You acted like a coward. And I hate you. You should burn every love letter I've ever given you. Delete all the pathetic emails I sent you. In fact, delete my email address and all my phone numbers. I don't ever want to hear from you again.

I want to call you so bad and SCREAM at you!! I wish I didn't have your number memorized, because I can call you even though it's deleted from my phone. It's been a month since we talked, and the last conversation was really painful and full of your ambiguous feelings and bull**** and me being in denial and hanging on for dear life to every shred of hope you've given me (and you've given me quite a few). How could you have betrayed me like everyone else has? After five years? Why didn't you tell me you were unhappy?? WHy did you wait until I left the country, acting like everything was fine, then two months later telling me you wanted space?? WHYYYY??? You said you'd always be there. Why did you tell me you don't want a relationship with anyone and now a month ago you tell me you're dating too and act like it bothers you? WHY WHY WHY WHY WHY??????!!!!!!!!!!!! I HATE YOU. I HOPE SHE GIVES YOU CRABS YOU LIARRRRRRRRRRRRRRRR!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

How can you be so cold? How can you have gotten over me so quickly after you devoted five years of your life to me? You still have our old cat...how can you cuddle with her every night and not think of me? How can you love your independence this much? Don't you see that I like independence too? I just don't want to date anyone else because they don't hold a candle to you, so I don't see the point. Are you dating someone? Do you love her already? Does she have curly hair? Does she make a lot of money? How could you have sent me that email telling me you could possibly spend the rest of your life with me and be happy? How could you have dashed my hopes only four weeks later when you said "I don't think it would work out, despite what I wrote. We tried so long, and I felt trapped."??? How could you do this to me? Do you know there is no one else in the universe who will love you like I did? Do you realize what you've thrown away? How could you tell me you want to be friends? I wish I could hate you. I wish I could take you off this pedestal and move on. I will someday, but until then, eat poop and die. I hate you for what you've done to us.